Of surgery and holidays

Holy shit.  What a holiday season.  Full of the unexpected.  Number one was an unexpected surgery.  Nothing saying happy holidays like having your abdomen cut open!  But I survived.  It did throw everything for a loop though, as I wasn't able to do much of anything for the entire month of December.  And really for some of January as I haven't been cleared by the doctor to do much of anything. 

But it's not been all sitting on my ass doing nothing.  Amazingly I still have a baby to take care of!  And it is really hard when you can't lift her. 

But we are back now, and better than ever! 

Now if I could only figure out what to write about...

Writing for children

I have a new endeavor!  Writing books for children.  All ages, but recently it's been kids under 5.  Why?  Because of I have noticed a lack of diversity.  And that has bothered me enough to want to do something.  So I am.

But writing children's books is extremely different from anything I have done.  And it's a little intimidating.  

Very intimidating.

But also very fun!  Currently I am working on dinosaur books and best buddy adventure books.  It has been so much fun.  It is also something I can do to leave to my kiddos. 

Other than a little writing, life has been moving forward.  Things are changing and it's terrifying, but life cannot stay stagnant.  Life has to move forward and it has to change and it will all be okay.  

Not much of an update, but baby decided now was the perfect time to wake up. 

What new adventures are you taking on?

Until Next Time!

Sleep is a beautiful thing

Baby girl is making life interesting around here.  In the last few days she has slept maybe 30 minutes at a time and no more than 2 times in a row.  So sleep has been fleeting.  Sleep has been a highly sought after commodity.  So much so that I find myself actually taking napes when I can, and that is unlike me in ever way.  Naps give me headaches.  But not sleeping gives me a bigger headache.

The Pope visited America.  Did you hear about it?  The reality is I've heard nothing but it for the whole time he was here.  I just want to point out to everyone who keeps saying "he's better, he's better than the last guy"... no he's not.  He is still anti LGBT and anti choice.  He very much believes that idiots like Kim Davis are doing God's work.  He believes that the government should not have to do it's job if it goes against their personal beliefs.  And that annoys me so much that it will get it's own post.  Anyway, I am sick of hearing about the Pope.

Speaking of Kim Davis... she's an awful person who needs to do her job.  (There, I made the obligatory gay mention of her.)

Family life is moving along swimmingly.  We still get weird looks and lots of people asking insanely personal questions about the ethnicity of our girl, but it's just what happens here.  We get more dirty looks than not when people realize we are together with a kid, but at least they've stopped saying things.

Breakdown of fun things happening around here:

• My partner has applied for a job he really wants, in another country, doing something he believes in.  I'm okay with that. 
• I have come to love babywearing.  What a weird thing to say, but I own a couple carriers now and I love them and love putting her in them.  It's like an obsession now, to try everything.  
• Our dogs are slowly coming to love baby girl.  They still aren't thrilled they aren't allowed to play with her, but unless she is crying they are cool being in the same room.  
• Baby girl is 100% holding her head up.  She is behind her actual age, but rocking out her adjusted age, so we celebrating that victory.

Until Next Time!

Where do we go from here?

So I really wanted to keep this from being a parenting blog.  I started 4 or 5 different posts and then realized they were all about my kid, or raising my kid, or being gay while raising a kid... and I fought against those posts.  I deleted them and told myself I would come back when my mind was free and clear of having a child!  I would come back and write about anything other than being a parent.  I fought against making any posts about parenting, thus I didn't write any posts, for fear they would turn into parenting posts.

Then I realized this was crazy and I need to get over it.

I want to write.  I want to write this blog and be all over the spectrum of topics like I used to be.  I want to make sure I can continue writing about being gay and gay issues, but also my own writing and everything!  But I realized in all my deleting and rewriting and just not writing that I had changed.  Yes, I am still a writer.  Yes, I am still an out and proud gay man.  But I am also a parent.

And parenting, especially right now, is connected to everything I do.

So while this blog isn't a parenting blog, I am a parent who writes this blog and there will probably be some bleed in of my daily life with baby.  And that's okay.  It's my blog.

Anyway, I just wanted to put this out.  As to why I've not written in a while and really as a warning.  If parenting blogs or bloggers talking about their family/kids bothers you, perhaps it's time you move on.

Until Next Time.

Raising an activist kid

What do you aspire your child to be?  Us?  A happy, well adjusted person.  But while we are raising her, we have something to prove.  

We get a lot of shit about raising a child to be an activist.  Or raising a child without her mother and making her a guinea pig.  Everywhere we go, people want to know how we will raise her like  her mother would raise her.  How can we possibly be enough for her.  The poor darling.

Every day we have to fight to have people recognize that our child is being raised in a wonderful household.  No, she doesn't have a woman living in our house, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a woman close by who can teach her the secret language of women everywhere.  The family is changing, and children are benefiting from it everywhere.

Along with raising a well adjusted little person, we also hope to raise an activist.  We are not as vocal about activism as we could be, but we hope to raise a child who stands up for what they believe in and fight for what they know to be right.  We are responsible for the future, and that future looks bright.  

So yes, we are raising an activist child.  We are raising our child to fight for what she believes in.  She may be a baby right now, but we are hopefully laying ground work for her future.  A bright and activist filled future.  

Someday when I have more than 5 seconds to type a post I will go into detail about how we are raising our babby.  Someday... 

Until Next Time

When baby takes over

Holy fuck are we tired.  We are tired.  But not because she screams all night... but because she still has her day and nights mixed up.  So she wants to be awake all night and sleep all day. 

What that means is I have been too tired to really do anything but her care and keeping my house looking like a normal house.  I still need to dust and clean the bathroom, but that can wait until the weekend. 

I haven't been living in a complete box... Donald Trump is running for president!  LOL!  Thank you Republican gods, because that is hilarious.  He is the best thing that could have happened to the Democratic party.  But it's also insanely sad how well he is polling.  I can't help but think people are trolling the pollers, because every time he opens his mouth he spews hatred.  The man said a prisoner of war wasn't a war hero because he got caught.  I mean, seriously?  I hate war and even I am like "wait, what?" 

I hope you all are having a kick ass summer.  We are. 

Until Next Time!

Perspective change

Having a baby changes your perspective.  Having a baby who spends the first two weeks of her life in the Neonatal intensive care unit changes everything about your perspective.  I'm sitting here typing this watching my daughter move around on the couch of the hotel room and I can't help but realize how fundamentally changed I am.

But at the same time, I'm the exact same person.  Isn't that an odd feeling?

I fully believe I have changed since she was born.  I no longer take shit from morons.  I speak my mind in ways I never would have before.  And I find myself fighting for things I never knew I cared that much about before.  Because of her. 

I also accept that while I love her and everything about her, she's not the only thing in my life.  Yes, I have taken longer to type this post than I have other posts... and it may be because she keeps looking at me with her "pick me up papa" eyes and I have no will power against those.  But I am still me. And I like that too. 

I am always find the two camps of parenthood "Nothing changes with a baby" or "everything changes with a baby, and so do you as a person" interesting.  Yes, having a baby is different, but that doesn't mean you as a person are suddenly changed and everything is different.  You can still be you in spite of having a kid.  And that is awesome. 

Life has changed.  There is a little person who deserves all your attention and love.  Life has changed, but I am still me and my partner is still him.  We just have a new compartment inside.  That compartment is called "baby girl" and it's being currently filled by the cutest kid ever.  Which is completely awesome. 

Until Next Time. 

Pride month wrap up

Woah what a Pride month that was!  It's now July and I just realized I didn't do a Pride month wrap up!  So let us begin!

This Pride month we got the biggest thing ever, the US Supreme court confirming our right to be married.  Confirming our right to be treated like every other citizen in the United States of America.  We won.  I am, personally, extremely excited by this bit of news.  Pride after the ruling was nice.

On a more person note, we have a Pride month baby now.  Our daughter is kicking ass and not caring what your name is after.  She's rocking out her NICU and getting ready to be discharged.  We are super excited, but are also having those moments of "Wait, they are just gonna hand her over?!  Are they crazy?!"

But we are as prepared as we can ever be.

And there you have it.. Pride month in a nutshell.


... and in all honesty there could have been a shit ton of other things happening this month, but in reality we've been sequestered in the NICU of a hospital.  World War III could have started and unless it negatively impacted the hospital, we would have never known.  There are no TVs here and we were just cleared to bring our laptops in the last few days.  Sick baby demands all the attention... and she gets it.


I hope you are having an excellent start to your summer and an excellent wrap up to Pride!

Until Next Time.

Love wins

I sit here and find myself amazed.  37 minutes ago, SCOTUS came down with the historic ruling that marriage is for all people.  Marriage is for everyone.  I can get married.

I can get married.

I can fucking get married.

My daughter will be protected under the marriage of her fathers. 

The marriage of her fathers.

Holy fucking shit.

I know this issue is one that is very divisive, but I don't care.  If you are standing on the wrong side of history, you are wrong.  You are so wrong that even the Supreme Court tells you you are wrong.  Please reflect on your wrongness and realize that you are standing for hatred.

But for now, for now we are celebrating for equality.  The march forward, the march towards equality, is one step closer now.  One step closer to being considered just a person, who happens to sleep with the same gender, but more just a person. 

I am a person who can now get married.

In all 50 states.

This is a good pride day.  This is a good pride day.

This is a good day.

This is good.

Until Next Time.

A whole new life

A few days ago our daughter was born.  We traveled hours upon hours and were here when she was born.  We have a pride baby!  How awesome!

There is nothing like seeing your baby right after birth.  To hear that first cry and realize  you had been holding your breath until that happened.  The moment you get the hospital bracelet wrapped around your wrist.  Nothing makes you smile like nurses who scold you for not having your camera ready fast enough and proceed to tell you they will give you tips to get the best pictures.  Nothing compared to that day, watching my daughter being taken care of.

With that also comes the insane amount of worry that comes from having a preemie.  Two steps forward, one step back is the rhythm of the whole unit.   She is doing great, but man are we worried overall.  Seeing her in an isolette is so horrible and makes us feel like we are helpless.  Watching her under the bili lights makes us realize we ARE helpless.  We hate that helpless feeling, but she is being taken care of by some of the best and her nurses have been nothing but amazing.  We are so thankful for their guidance and help throughout this that I'm not sure we'll ever be able to express how thankful we truly are. 

So yeah, right now our lives are attempting to figure out the NICU routine and trying to get our shit together and stop pinching ourselves that we have a baby.  Living out of a hotel room for an undetermined amount of time is hard, but we'll figure it out. 

Hopefully I get some posts written and set to post while we are getting used to baby girl, but if not, just know I've not gone away forever!  I am eagerly awaiting the Supreme Courts decision that should be coming down in the next week, and we are debating if we are going to swing out to the local Pride festival here. 

Life is moving forward insanely quickly, but right now we are the happiest father's that we know. 

Until Next Time.