I have no motivation to do anything. I don't know if I'm getting sick or if I'm just being lazy, but I really just want to sit here and do nothing.
It is starting to affect me in ways I hadn't planned on. I have an entire house to clean, a yard to landscape, and meals to prep before baby comes home. But I think some of it is we've been here before, and I did all that, and we walked away empty handed. I think maybe that is getting in my head and keeping me from doing things I need to.
And I really need it to go away.
It's times like these that I wonder if I'm not giving too much space in my head to things I cannot control. I cannot control our past, but I can control our future. I need to keep that in mind. Yes, this situation may fall through as well, but at least I will have a spotless house and meals for the next month. That is a good thing, right?
I dunno, I don't know the answer. I guess I just have to keep telling myself to get up and go and move and get shit done. That is the best way to combat the lazies. I also plan to sit down and do some writing this weekend (as it's the first weekend we have at home in a long time!) so hopefully that will help get some feelings out of the gate. I also have my partner home for a long weekend. Half day on Friday, off on Monday, he's going to be so spoiled!
I hope you are having a better, more productive week and I am having!
Until Next Time!
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Sunday, May 17, 2015
What weekend?
I am sure we are sitting on the tail end of another weekend, but I'm not sure where that weekend has gone. Actually, I do. This weekend went to being with kick ass people and hanging out with friends and doing normal people things. That's where this weekend went.
And. It. Was. Awesome.
A friend of ours is moving away so this weekend was her surprise going away party. So we packed up, drove 3 hours north, and drank ourselves silly as a way of saying bon voyage. I am sad that she is moving away, but I know it's for greater and better things.
Because of that, our weekend flew by. We find ourselves doing laundry late again and the grocery store was a haphazard, thrown together list. Still worth it.
So now another week starts. With this week comes a promise of renewal of all the things we want to do, as well as some things we feel we have to do. My partner has been having some stomach issues, so we are slowly working our way through cutting out known food groups that seem to be contributing. The first is going to be dairy, so this week starts that. I really hope this helps his stomach because it sucks to see the ones you love in pain.
This week is also the week I put together the largest packing list for bringing home babby that you've ever seen. I like to think of it as a cross between first time parent and just a nervous packer in general. We are still cautiously excited. Around 9 weeks left.
Hopefully the time will slow down slightly. We have nothing planned this weekend, so hopefully we will get a little time to ourselves. If not, it's okay, we have living our lives and having a kickass time doing it!
Until Next Time.
And. It. Was. Awesome.
A friend of ours is moving away so this weekend was her surprise going away party. So we packed up, drove 3 hours north, and drank ourselves silly as a way of saying bon voyage. I am sad that she is moving away, but I know it's for greater and better things.
Because of that, our weekend flew by. We find ourselves doing laundry late again and the grocery store was a haphazard, thrown together list. Still worth it.
So now another week starts. With this week comes a promise of renewal of all the things we want to do, as well as some things we feel we have to do. My partner has been having some stomach issues, so we are slowly working our way through cutting out known food groups that seem to be contributing. The first is going to be dairy, so this week starts that. I really hope this helps his stomach because it sucks to see the ones you love in pain.
This week is also the week I put together the largest packing list for bringing home babby that you've ever seen. I like to think of it as a cross between first time parent and just a nervous packer in general. We are still cautiously excited. Around 9 weeks left.
Hopefully the time will slow down slightly. We have nothing planned this weekend, so hopefully we will get a little time to ourselves. If not, it's okay, we have living our lives and having a kickass time doing it!
Until Next Time.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Are you gonna make your baby gay?
Once upon a time there was a soon to be dad waiting in line at a big box chain baby store to buy an item on sale with a coupon. It was early, he chose early on purpose, to avoid the crowds. Apparently everyone else had the same idea as the store was packed. As he was standing in line, a woman soon to be dad (STBD) worked with came up behind him. As he knew her, they struck up a conversation.
Granted, STBD hadn't seen this woman in a couple of years but learned that she was having her second child in 2 years and she was super excited. He was super excited for her! As the line inched slowly forward, the conversation turned to his pending adoption and the excitement that maybe the third time would be the charm for him and his partner.
And then it happened.
The woman's face scrunched up slightly. STBD realized that she may not have known he was gay... how, he wasn't sure, but their work place had been at a religious organization so it may just not have come up. The woman inquired slightly as to "the Partner" in the sentence. She recovered quickly from her minor face scrunching and congratulated STBD. But the conversation quickly got awkward.
Then she nailed the coffin shut on the conversation.
"Are you going to make your baby gay?" She was serious. "I have read that gay parents are more likely to have gay kids." It took everything in STBD's power to not react out of anger.
Do people seriously still think that you will turn out exact like your parents? I mean, my parents are straight, I'm not. My partner's parents are straight, he's not. Why is this still a question? The reality is my sexuality has nothing to do with my future children. My sexuality is nothing to do with kids. This idea that homosexuals are out to recruit children is so outdated that it's insulting at this point that people still follow that line of thinking.
I am not having children to "make them gay". I am not having children to recruit more into the ebil homosexual lifestyle. I am having kids for the same reason everyone else has a child, because I want to have a family that includes children. Pretty plain and simple.
Now, that said, my partner and I ARE gay. And pretty damn proud of it. So our "lifestyle" will not be hidden from our children. We will be out and proud with our daughter (and future daughters or sons, whatever we may get) and she will know that her dads both love her. She will attend pride parades with us, she will not be shied away from the fact that her dads are gay. Chances are she will be exposed to more gay people than "normal", but simply because we find strength in numbers.
But no matter how many pride parades we take her too, or how many gay friends we have, we will have no influence on her sexuality. You either are, or aren't. No amount of parental influence or shunning has turned me straight and the same is true for our future children. No amount of our influence will turn our, or your, children gay.
However, I don't think we'll be hanging out at new parent things any time soon.
Until Next Time.
Granted, STBD hadn't seen this woman in a couple of years but learned that she was having her second child in 2 years and she was super excited. He was super excited for her! As the line inched slowly forward, the conversation turned to his pending adoption and the excitement that maybe the third time would be the charm for him and his partner.
And then it happened.
The woman's face scrunched up slightly. STBD realized that she may not have known he was gay... how, he wasn't sure, but their work place had been at a religious organization so it may just not have come up. The woman inquired slightly as to "the Partner" in the sentence. She recovered quickly from her minor face scrunching and congratulated STBD. But the conversation quickly got awkward.
Then she nailed the coffin shut on the conversation.
"Are you going to make your baby gay?" She was serious. "I have read that gay parents are more likely to have gay kids." It took everything in STBD's power to not react out of anger.
Do people seriously still think that you will turn out exact like your parents? I mean, my parents are straight, I'm not. My partner's parents are straight, he's not. Why is this still a question? The reality is my sexuality has nothing to do with my future children. My sexuality is nothing to do with kids. This idea that homosexuals are out to recruit children is so outdated that it's insulting at this point that people still follow that line of thinking.
I am not having children to "make them gay". I am not having children to recruit more into the ebil homosexual lifestyle. I am having kids for the same reason everyone else has a child, because I want to have a family that includes children. Pretty plain and simple.
Now, that said, my partner and I ARE gay. And pretty damn proud of it. So our "lifestyle" will not be hidden from our children. We will be out and proud with our daughter (and future daughters or sons, whatever we may get) and she will know that her dads both love her. She will attend pride parades with us, she will not be shied away from the fact that her dads are gay. Chances are she will be exposed to more gay people than "normal", but simply because we find strength in numbers.
But no matter how many pride parades we take her too, or how many gay friends we have, we will have no influence on her sexuality. You either are, or aren't. No amount of parental influence or shunning has turned me straight and the same is true for our future children. No amount of our influence will turn our, or your, children gay.
However, I don't think we'll be hanging out at new parent things any time soon.
Until Next Time.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
My favorite kind of morning
Today was my favorite kind of morning. Let's face it, I am not a morning person, but sometimes you just have to get up before the sun. Today is one of those days where I was up before the sun herself shook off the morning dew. But I am glad I was.
When I left the house this morning, the fog was thick and the sky was dark. I am not a big fan of dense fog, but the beauty that presents when the sun finally does make her appearance is stunning. I wish I was in a position to take some pictures as the sun crested the sky, but I was sitting in class looking longingly out the window.
As the sun first hit the dense fog, an explosion of reds and oranges swept across the sky. It's when that happens that you know it's going to be good! I watched out of the classroom window as slowly the fog began to burn away, leaving a beautiful sunrise in it's wake. The orange palette that sat in the sky for my entire hour in class was such a treat for the eyes. I also noticed I wasn't the only one staring out the window.
But this morning is one of my favorites for so many other reasons. Not only did we get a spectacular sunrise, but the weather is cooperating perfectly. Stepping outside after class was like stepping into a cool swimming pool. The air was still thick with water from the fog and it was cool. Not cold, mind you, but pleasantly jacket weather. Stepping outside and taking in a deep breath calmed my soul.
The nice jacket weather prompted me to walk slightly slower than I normally would, and we all know I'm a slow walker. I was tortoise crawling across the common area to my hide away to study. Each step was synced with a deep breath, filling my lungs with wonder cool air. I am sure the air quality is the same, but to me cool air always feels cleaner. It felt like I was breathing for the first time in a long time. Both metaphorically and literally.
As I crawled to my hide away, the sun finished it's morning stretch above the horizon, the last of the thick fog burned away, and suddenly it was like any other day. But for those 15 or so minutes of standing outside, I feel so much better about life in general than I have in a long time.
Life has been rough lately. Depression is running wild in my brain and I sometimes forget that there is something more beautiful just waiting for me. Today was a gentle reminder from the universe that while it's okay to just be, sometimes being and waiting is worth it for what you want. I was breathing today, and it's good to know that I will be breathing tomorrow. Because with the promise of one day of beauty, there is bound to be another.
Until Next Time.
When I left the house this morning, the fog was thick and the sky was dark. I am not a big fan of dense fog, but the beauty that presents when the sun finally does make her appearance is stunning. I wish I was in a position to take some pictures as the sun crested the sky, but I was sitting in class looking longingly out the window.
As the sun first hit the dense fog, an explosion of reds and oranges swept across the sky. It's when that happens that you know it's going to be good! I watched out of the classroom window as slowly the fog began to burn away, leaving a beautiful sunrise in it's wake. The orange palette that sat in the sky for my entire hour in class was such a treat for the eyes. I also noticed I wasn't the only one staring out the window.
But this morning is one of my favorites for so many other reasons. Not only did we get a spectacular sunrise, but the weather is cooperating perfectly. Stepping outside after class was like stepping into a cool swimming pool. The air was still thick with water from the fog and it was cool. Not cold, mind you, but pleasantly jacket weather. Stepping outside and taking in a deep breath calmed my soul.
The nice jacket weather prompted me to walk slightly slower than I normally would, and we all know I'm a slow walker. I was tortoise crawling across the common area to my hide away to study. Each step was synced with a deep breath, filling my lungs with wonder cool air. I am sure the air quality is the same, but to me cool air always feels cleaner. It felt like I was breathing for the first time in a long time. Both metaphorically and literally.
As I crawled to my hide away, the sun finished it's morning stretch above the horizon, the last of the thick fog burned away, and suddenly it was like any other day. But for those 15 or so minutes of standing outside, I feel so much better about life in general than I have in a long time.
Life has been rough lately. Depression is running wild in my brain and I sometimes forget that there is something more beautiful just waiting for me. Today was a gentle reminder from the universe that while it's okay to just be, sometimes being and waiting is worth it for what you want. I was breathing today, and it's good to know that I will be breathing tomorrow. Because with the promise of one day of beauty, there is bound to be another.
Until Next Time.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Shh it's a secret!
This weekend I passed a milestone. I had a friend tell me a secret. It was something she was adamant stay between us, and it will, but the reality is I was told a secret and trusted to keep it. That, to me anyway, is a sign of friendship. Like, you don't tell secrets to people you don't like or whatever.
Yes, I live a sad life that my weekend was made because someone considered me friend enough to share a secret.
Now the kicker is, that secret was something that is known by a few people, I discovered... but it's still a cool thing to have happen! Anyway, we had a kick ass weekend hanging out with people this weekend. We always say we want to be those people who visit people and have people visit us, but we rarely have a chance to make that work. We now have friends to make that work with! Exciting.
Our life is a system of routine at this point. We get up early, do a little yoga, get breakfast and head out the door. I am gone most days till midafternoon. Then it's home, homework, and supper, when my partner gets home from work. After supper I get to actually spend a little time with my partner and that is a happy time. Most days he goes to work out while I finish homework right before bed, but for a solid hour a day I get him all to myself. It is nice to finally find a routine that works for us. Yeah, I wish it was more, but right now in this moment in our lives, this is where it is. We can all learn to live with that.
Speaking of learning to live with things, my Partner may end going overseas for work soon. And that makes me sad. Right now he is slated to leave right as I start finals prep, so in a couple months. I dread it, but at the same time, he loves going over seas so much that I can't even be mad. I am secretly hoping he doesn't have to go, but shhhh that's a secret.
Until Next Time.
Yes, I live a sad life that my weekend was made because someone considered me friend enough to share a secret.
Now the kicker is, that secret was something that is known by a few people, I discovered... but it's still a cool thing to have happen! Anyway, we had a kick ass weekend hanging out with people this weekend. We always say we want to be those people who visit people and have people visit us, but we rarely have a chance to make that work. We now have friends to make that work with! Exciting.
Our life is a system of routine at this point. We get up early, do a little yoga, get breakfast and head out the door. I am gone most days till midafternoon. Then it's home, homework, and supper, when my partner gets home from work. After supper I get to actually spend a little time with my partner and that is a happy time. Most days he goes to work out while I finish homework right before bed, but for a solid hour a day I get him all to myself. It is nice to finally find a routine that works for us. Yeah, I wish it was more, but right now in this moment in our lives, this is where it is. We can all learn to live with that.
Speaking of learning to live with things, my Partner may end going overseas for work soon. And that makes me sad. Right now he is slated to leave right as I start finals prep, so in a couple months. I dread it, but at the same time, he loves going over seas so much that I can't even be mad. I am secretly hoping he doesn't have to go, but shhhh that's a secret.
Until Next Time.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
.......Hello.
Oh hi. Yeah, I know, I forgot to post this week. It happens, sadly. However, this week I have a REALLY good reason. Yes, it is really good.
School started.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
School started and my class load this semester is a little insane. Mostly because I had to take a biology course I wasn't expecting to have to take again. Who knew that when you sign up for a class at a community college, with the understanding that it will transfer to the university you will be going to, that it wouldn't transfer! And you wouldn't find out until the day you register for classes. So I had to take another course this semester to stay on track, and thus I have way too much shit going on this semester.
But it will be okay! It will all be okay because I am a good student and I ignore everything outside of school when I get stressed. Hence the lack of blog posts this week. I am slowly working out what I need to do, though it is going to take another couple weeks I think until things calm down. Just in time for midterms!
Other than school nothing exciting is going on around here. We have our homestudy update and we are now waiting for our placing agency to give us a call so we can interview with them and get this ball rolling. It's an exciting ball to get rolling again. Our ball is a little moss covered as we recovered, but now we are ready to start rolling and stop collecting moss.
Now I must sign off and go back to Spanish homework. Who doesn't love a good language homework in the middle of the day!?
Until Next Time!
School started.
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
School started and my class load this semester is a little insane. Mostly because I had to take a biology course I wasn't expecting to have to take again. Who knew that when you sign up for a class at a community college, with the understanding that it will transfer to the university you will be going to, that it wouldn't transfer! And you wouldn't find out until the day you register for classes. So I had to take another course this semester to stay on track, and thus I have way too much shit going on this semester.
But it will be okay! It will all be okay because I am a good student and I ignore everything outside of school when I get stressed. Hence the lack of blog posts this week. I am slowly working out what I need to do, though it is going to take another couple weeks I think until things calm down. Just in time for midterms!
Other than school nothing exciting is going on around here. We have our homestudy update and we are now waiting for our placing agency to give us a call so we can interview with them and get this ball rolling. It's an exciting ball to get rolling again. Our ball is a little moss covered as we recovered, but now we are ready to start rolling and stop collecting moss.
Now I must sign off and go back to Spanish homework. Who doesn't love a good language homework in the middle of the day!?
Until Next Time!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
And so it begins
Somehow I thought going back to school AND starting an adoption were great things to start at the same time! Ain't I smart?
Life right now is very compartmentalized. I have three compartments, school, adoption, partner. Sadly school is taking up more but that is because I start tomorrow. Reading through the syllabus for each class is giving me a headache of epic proportions. I am struggling to understand why I am paying for parking passes and going to school if everything is done online. And I have to buy a clicker, which is going to be an interesting new experience for me. I don't even know what that thing is, let alone how to use one!
Outside of that we submitted our application for the new placing agency. In the course of 3 hours I received an email for an intro phone call and got a phone call asking if I received that email. I love their enthusiasm, but at the same time, holy cow give me time! My Partner works and is apparently very busy today because he hasn't even read the email yet. Give me a few minutes to get shit together. That said, I am excited with how much enthusiasm they have because that means good things can happen for us... hopefully.
My third compartment, the partner, is sadly lacking right now. Hopefully after this week it will calm down again, but it sucks to not feel like you are connecting simply because there isn't enough hours in the day. We usually lay in bed before falling asleep and just spend time talking and connecting, but this last week that just hasn't happened. We lay down and both fall asleep pretty instantly. Hopefully once all the new wears off from the year we will be able to go back to sharing our thoughts at night. It really is the highlight of my day and the perfect way to send off to dream land. I really do miss that time together. As a trade off though, we have been getting up a bit earlier than normal and doing morning yoga together. That is nice.
It is amazing how each season of life works out. I feel like I am as busy as I have ever been, yet I also feel like I am getting nothing done. Isn't that amazing? I run around all day and feel like I've accomplished nothing. Chipping away at my to do list, however, lets me know that I am really doing something. And I like doing something.
Until Next Time.
Life right now is very compartmentalized. I have three compartments, school, adoption, partner. Sadly school is taking up more but that is because I start tomorrow. Reading through the syllabus for each class is giving me a headache of epic proportions. I am struggling to understand why I am paying for parking passes and going to school if everything is done online. And I have to buy a clicker, which is going to be an interesting new experience for me. I don't even know what that thing is, let alone how to use one!
Outside of that we submitted our application for the new placing agency. In the course of 3 hours I received an email for an intro phone call and got a phone call asking if I received that email. I love their enthusiasm, but at the same time, holy cow give me time! My Partner works and is apparently very busy today because he hasn't even read the email yet. Give me a few minutes to get shit together. That said, I am excited with how much enthusiasm they have because that means good things can happen for us... hopefully.
My third compartment, the partner, is sadly lacking right now. Hopefully after this week it will calm down again, but it sucks to not feel like you are connecting simply because there isn't enough hours in the day. We usually lay in bed before falling asleep and just spend time talking and connecting, but this last week that just hasn't happened. We lay down and both fall asleep pretty instantly. Hopefully once all the new wears off from the year we will be able to go back to sharing our thoughts at night. It really is the highlight of my day and the perfect way to send off to dream land. I really do miss that time together. As a trade off though, we have been getting up a bit earlier than normal and doing morning yoga together. That is nice.
It is amazing how each season of life works out. I feel like I am as busy as I have ever been, yet I also feel like I am getting nothing done. Isn't that amazing? I run around all day and feel like I've accomplished nothing. Chipping away at my to do list, however, lets me know that I am really doing something. And I like doing something.
Until Next Time.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Having kids
I try not to talk about having kids much anymore with people I know. I think people just get tired of hearing "Oh yeah, kids kids kids". It gets to be too much for a lot of people, especially people who have never had issues having children, and who wants to burden your friends beyond what they can handle.
As a result, I often sit on my hands and just wait until we have something to announce before talking about it. Well, right now, we have a beginning step to announce. We are finally updating our damn homestudy.
We started trying to adopt in 2010, right after we exchanged rings. So our first homestudy was done in December and we immediately jumped into any avenue we could to start our family. We worked with the foster system (and ended up not pursuing that route for multiple reasons, but we hope to open this avenue at some point in our lives), we looked through children already available for adoption from adoptuskids, and we finally settled on private infant adoption. Only we found so many problems with the system. We worked hard to find a good homestudy agency and worked twice as hard to find, what we thought was, a good child placing agency.
Our first adoption attempt took us to far from home! How exciting to get the call that the baby was born, was a beautiful and mostly healthy little girl, and that we needed to hop on a plane and get out there to meet our daughter. Only it didn't happen like we thought. We arrived in her state, we made it to the city of her birth, and bright and early the next day we arrived at the hospital... only to be told by the NICU nurse that the mother changed her mind. We were so stunned. Yeah, we knew that was a possibility, but we had spent so much time making sure we were doing this right, ethical, properly, that we never dreamed we would be left sitting in the waiting room with empty arms.
We called our placing agency and they called the hospital and it all just fell apart. We sat in the hospital for a couple hours, waiting to speak to the risk supervisor and the hospital social worker and the lead NICU nurse... and we watched the baby's mother invite people in to meet the baby. We listened as people had conversations next to the nursery door about how awesome it was that the baby was born.. and we realized at that moment that maybe mom never planned to place. And our world was shattered. We were so naive, and no we weren't anymore. The world taught us an expensive and heartbreaking lesson that day.
So we came back home and rebuilt our life here. We stayed out of the adoption game for almost a year, despite wanting a child so desperately. We healed ourselves before jumping back into the arena, with the same placing agency.
Thus began our second attempt. This attempt was more fraught with despair from the beginning. We were matched quickly and the baby was due not too long after we matched. And then the little boy was born and we learned that from the beginning we were being scammed. Through our agency. Not by our agency by any means, we are not indicting them publicly at all. Needless to say, that fell through as well.
From there we dropped our placing agency. Two failed adoptions and the bullshit we dealt with during our second failed attempt just showed us that this agency wasn't for us. After giving ourselves time to heal from this second placement, we opted to go for surrogacy and all that entailed.
To avoid this post becoming too long and depressing, our transfer failed. No baby, no children.
We tried a few other things, but right now those are too personal to throw up in public on a blog. We have healed, but we aren't ready to spend too much time talking about them. I am not ready... I should use I and not we sometimes.
And that leads us to today, where we are right now. And we are nervous. But we are excited. We have found a new placing agency that we feel conducts itself ethically and we have few expectations this time. It is scary to deal with all this shit again, but also exciting.
So one of the goals of 2015 was to have children. This is mostly outside of our control, but we are taking the steps we can and hope that 2015 will continue to be our year. We won't give up because failure is not really an option for us. 2015 is the year of goals and dreams coming true.
Until Next Time.
As a result, I often sit on my hands and just wait until we have something to announce before talking about it. Well, right now, we have a beginning step to announce. We are finally updating our damn homestudy.
We started trying to adopt in 2010, right after we exchanged rings. So our first homestudy was done in December and we immediately jumped into any avenue we could to start our family. We worked with the foster system (and ended up not pursuing that route for multiple reasons, but we hope to open this avenue at some point in our lives), we looked through children already available for adoption from adoptuskids, and we finally settled on private infant adoption. Only we found so many problems with the system. We worked hard to find a good homestudy agency and worked twice as hard to find, what we thought was, a good child placing agency.
Our first adoption attempt took us to far from home! How exciting to get the call that the baby was born, was a beautiful and mostly healthy little girl, and that we needed to hop on a plane and get out there to meet our daughter. Only it didn't happen like we thought. We arrived in her state, we made it to the city of her birth, and bright and early the next day we arrived at the hospital... only to be told by the NICU nurse that the mother changed her mind. We were so stunned. Yeah, we knew that was a possibility, but we had spent so much time making sure we were doing this right, ethical, properly, that we never dreamed we would be left sitting in the waiting room with empty arms.
We called our placing agency and they called the hospital and it all just fell apart. We sat in the hospital for a couple hours, waiting to speak to the risk supervisor and the hospital social worker and the lead NICU nurse... and we watched the baby's mother invite people in to meet the baby. We listened as people had conversations next to the nursery door about how awesome it was that the baby was born.. and we realized at that moment that maybe mom never planned to place. And our world was shattered. We were so naive, and no we weren't anymore. The world taught us an expensive and heartbreaking lesson that day.
So we came back home and rebuilt our life here. We stayed out of the adoption game for almost a year, despite wanting a child so desperately. We healed ourselves before jumping back into the arena, with the same placing agency.
Thus began our second attempt. This attempt was more fraught with despair from the beginning. We were matched quickly and the baby was due not too long after we matched. And then the little boy was born and we learned that from the beginning we were being scammed. Through our agency. Not by our agency by any means, we are not indicting them publicly at all. Needless to say, that fell through as well.
From there we dropped our placing agency. Two failed adoptions and the bullshit we dealt with during our second failed attempt just showed us that this agency wasn't for us. After giving ourselves time to heal from this second placement, we opted to go for surrogacy and all that entailed.
To avoid this post becoming too long and depressing, our transfer failed. No baby, no children.
We tried a few other things, but right now those are too personal to throw up in public on a blog. We have healed, but we aren't ready to spend too much time talking about them. I am not ready... I should use I and not we sometimes.
And that leads us to today, where we are right now. And we are nervous. But we are excited. We have found a new placing agency that we feel conducts itself ethically and we have few expectations this time. It is scary to deal with all this shit again, but also exciting.
So one of the goals of 2015 was to have children. This is mostly outside of our control, but we are taking the steps we can and hope that 2015 will continue to be our year. We won't give up because failure is not really an option for us. 2015 is the year of goals and dreams coming true.
Until Next Time.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
School.. okay!
I am counting down the days before school starts for me. I'm 9 days away from starting at University. I am starting as a junior with around 2 years left to complete my bachelors degree. I am excited and terrified. The only classes I have left are major and minor classes, which means shit has gotten real! I have no real fluff classes to take, which is a nightmare for my semesters. I do get to take my language classes, which will be Spanish for lack of a language offerings in my time frame, which will give me a bit of a break from the chemistry and biology and psychology classes. But other than Spanish and the math class I have to take this semester, I am going to be fully up to my elbows in -ology classes.
With starting school, I have gone on a house bender. I have cleaned almost every room in my house from top to bottom. My goal is to have very little house stuffs to do during the semester. My partner is amazing, but he is not a house keeper. He works full time, very hard, and I typically take care of the indoor house stuff. I am a little nervous to how to balance house and school work. Add in my volunteer work and woah, I think the next 3 months are going to be super duper busy. And I think my house is going to suffer, which is okay in the long run.
I am also trying to adjust to a new time for getting up and going to bed, as well as being out of the house. On Tuesday's, in particular, I will be out of my house over 12 hours for school. I don't know what I was thinking when I made that schedule!
I'm excited. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe a little.
Until Next Time.
With starting school, I have gone on a house bender. I have cleaned almost every room in my house from top to bottom. My goal is to have very little house stuffs to do during the semester. My partner is amazing, but he is not a house keeper. He works full time, very hard, and I typically take care of the indoor house stuff. I am a little nervous to how to balance house and school work. Add in my volunteer work and woah, I think the next 3 months are going to be super duper busy. And I think my house is going to suffer, which is okay in the long run.
I am also trying to adjust to a new time for getting up and going to bed, as well as being out of the house. On Tuesday's, in particular, I will be out of my house over 12 hours for school. I don't know what I was thinking when I made that schedule!
I'm excited. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe a little.
Until Next Time.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Stop and think about it
All around us right now we are slammed with images and stories that make it sometimes hard to believe we are living in a society so intolerant of people. AT astonishing numbers GLBT youth are killing themselves because society has taught them they are less than. This is my attempt to reconcile what I seeing and how I am feeling.
The big "in the spotlight" suicide right now is that of Leelah Alcorn. Leelah was bullied, not so much by society, but by her parents. She was drugged up, told she was less than, that she was mentally deranged and needed to be "fixed". Instead of embracing their child and helping her navigate a world that was already against her, her parents turned on her. As a result she felt there was no other choice but to walk in front of a semi truck and end the pain she felt. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. The only solution she felt she had. And that is tragic.
Before Leelah was Ronin Shimizu, a 12 year old child who committed suicide after being the target of bullying because he was different. I do not know, and cannot find anything stating, if Ronin was gay, and that doesn't matter. He was bullied by people who called him gay, who challenged his maleness because he liked to cheer. Because he was different. Because he was true to himself. This little boy was 12 for fucks sake. Who cares what his preference in lovers might have been? He was a child who opted to take his own life rather than face anymore bullying. How can our society be okay with this?
I could go on and on with teens who have felt they needed to take their life to get away from the bullshit society has put on them, but I think these two instances show my point. Why are we putting adult problems on children? Why are we burdening children with the bigotry of the world? Why aren't we embracing our children for who they are, not who we want them to be? Why aren't we embracing our children.
I am sick to death of hearing stories where people feel like suicide is the only solution because of the pain that is inflicted on them by other people. Wake up society. Wake up and realize your truth is not every one's truth. The way you choose to live your life is not the way other people choose to live their life. Stop teaching children that men act this way and women act that way. Stop using gay as a slur. Stop putting adult burdens on our children! Just stop.
Think about what you are doing, what message you are sending to the youth of today.
And if you are a teen who is thinking about suicide, please listen to me. I am not a paid actor, I am not a paid anyone. I am a student, I am a normal person, just like you. And I can tell you it gets better. I hate to sound cliche, but IT. GETS. BETTER. Yes, your parents may hate you, mine do. Yes, your friends may abandon you, mine did. Yes, you may find yourself alone in the this... but you aren't really alone. There are a lot of us out there who have been in your shoes. There are a lot of us out there who have dealt with everything you are dealing with right now. It's hard. It sucks. It shouldn't have to be... but I promise you, life gets better. Anyone who tells you that you are living the best days of your life, right now, are lying to you. I am still relatively young and I know even I am not living the best days of my life right now. I am nearly 30 and enjoying life, in college, surrounded by the family I have chosen (and none of it is biological) and I promise you, the best is yet to come.
If you need help, please seek it out. The best resource I know available is the Trevor Help Line.
The Trevor Line. Those who brought you the It Gets Better campaign also offer crisis intervention. Call them: 866-488-7386 or go to their website Trevor Crisis help
Please know that you are worth it, you have a life ahead of you. People are here to support you. Let them help you. You are worth living for.
Until Next Time.
The big "in the spotlight" suicide right now is that of Leelah Alcorn. Leelah was bullied, not so much by society, but by her parents. She was drugged up, told she was less than, that she was mentally deranged and needed to be "fixed". Instead of embracing their child and helping her navigate a world that was already against her, her parents turned on her. As a result she felt there was no other choice but to walk in front of a semi truck and end the pain she felt. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. The only solution she felt she had. And that is tragic.
Before Leelah was Ronin Shimizu, a 12 year old child who committed suicide after being the target of bullying because he was different. I do not know, and cannot find anything stating, if Ronin was gay, and that doesn't matter. He was bullied by people who called him gay, who challenged his maleness because he liked to cheer. Because he was different. Because he was true to himself. This little boy was 12 for fucks sake. Who cares what his preference in lovers might have been? He was a child who opted to take his own life rather than face anymore bullying. How can our society be okay with this?
I could go on and on with teens who have felt they needed to take their life to get away from the bullshit society has put on them, but I think these two instances show my point. Why are we putting adult problems on children? Why are we burdening children with the bigotry of the world? Why aren't we embracing our children for who they are, not who we want them to be? Why aren't we embracing our children.
I am sick to death of hearing stories where people feel like suicide is the only solution because of the pain that is inflicted on them by other people. Wake up society. Wake up and realize your truth is not every one's truth. The way you choose to live your life is not the way other people choose to live their life. Stop teaching children that men act this way and women act that way. Stop using gay as a slur. Stop putting adult burdens on our children! Just stop.
Think about what you are doing, what message you are sending to the youth of today.
And if you are a teen who is thinking about suicide, please listen to me. I am not a paid actor, I am not a paid anyone. I am a student, I am a normal person, just like you. And I can tell you it gets better. I hate to sound cliche, but IT. GETS. BETTER. Yes, your parents may hate you, mine do. Yes, your friends may abandon you, mine did. Yes, you may find yourself alone in the this... but you aren't really alone. There are a lot of us out there who have been in your shoes. There are a lot of us out there who have dealt with everything you are dealing with right now. It's hard. It sucks. It shouldn't have to be... but I promise you, life gets better. Anyone who tells you that you are living the best days of your life, right now, are lying to you. I am still relatively young and I know even I am not living the best days of my life right now. I am nearly 30 and enjoying life, in college, surrounded by the family I have chosen (and none of it is biological) and I promise you, the best is yet to come.
If you need help, please seek it out. The best resource I know available is the Trevor Help Line.
The Trevor Line. Those who brought you the It Gets Better campaign also offer crisis intervention. Call them: 866-488-7386 or go to their website Trevor Crisis help
Please know that you are worth it, you have a life ahead of you. People are here to support you. Let them help you. You are worth living for.
Until Next Time.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Of food stuffs
One of my main goals this year is getting healthy. Part of getting healthy is learning to control my weight, which means learning to control my food instead of my food controlling me. This is always a struggle due to a lot of food insecurities I had as a child and then again as an independent teenager. Today, I have no worries about when my next meal will come, or if it will come, but that doesn't stop the fears and the need to have it all mapped out.
So to control my food a bit, I am using my need for planning to my benefit. I have worked out a menu plan for breakfast, lunch, and supper. It seems odd and strict, but I think it will actually work for me. By planning everything, I can monitor my calories as well as make sure I know exactly when each meal and snack will happen. That puts everything in my control, which I know is not a healthy way to look at it, but it's what I have to do right now.
There are some rules we are following regarding eating in our household in order to make weight loss work for me. We did a little trial and error to figure out what worked best for us, and it seems to be Primal Eating. Which basically means no grains and limited legumes. No added sugars as well. We do eat dairy and I have no plans to change that right now.
It is nice to sit down and have an idea of what you want to do and the ability to make that happen. It is also nice to finally have a support system that I know will not waiver in their support, but will call me out on my shit. If I am doing something stupid, I rest assured that my friends and family will be like "Uhm, dumb, no". It makes figuring out this life thing a little easier to know I have people I can count on.
Here is to hoping I can figure this out and make this work! Isn't that what we all want? To figure out the parts of our lives that give us grief and then fix them. I am fixing.
Until Next Time!
So to control my food a bit, I am using my need for planning to my benefit. I have worked out a menu plan for breakfast, lunch, and supper. It seems odd and strict, but I think it will actually work for me. By planning everything, I can monitor my calories as well as make sure I know exactly when each meal and snack will happen. That puts everything in my control, which I know is not a healthy way to look at it, but it's what I have to do right now.
There are some rules we are following regarding eating in our household in order to make weight loss work for me. We did a little trial and error to figure out what worked best for us, and it seems to be Primal Eating. Which basically means no grains and limited legumes. No added sugars as well. We do eat dairy and I have no plans to change that right now.
It is nice to sit down and have an idea of what you want to do and the ability to make that happen. It is also nice to finally have a support system that I know will not waiver in their support, but will call me out on my shit. If I am doing something stupid, I rest assured that my friends and family will be like "Uhm, dumb, no". It makes figuring out this life thing a little easier to know I have people I can count on.
Here is to hoping I can figure this out and make this work! Isn't that what we all want? To figure out the parts of our lives that give us grief and then fix them. I am fixing.
Until Next Time!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Happy New Year!!!
Happy New Year, and other awesome things!
We had an awesome time hanging out with some friends. It was, shocker, rather boring, but it was still something to do instead of sitting at home. There were 4 couples there, so 8 people total. One person was pregnant, so her and her husband weren't drinking. Two of the people were so drunk by the time we got there that they weren't much fun. So the other 4 of us enjoyed a few drinks and played some fun (and not so fun) games. It was a good night had by all.
I am excited to start a new year. This is my year to make it a new start, a fresh start, a healthy start. I know, it's so cliche to talk about starting over at the start of the year, but this is my year. My fucking year.
So here is to hoping that your 2015 is better than you ever dreamed.
Until Next Time!
We had an awesome time hanging out with some friends. It was, shocker, rather boring, but it was still something to do instead of sitting at home. There were 4 couples there, so 8 people total. One person was pregnant, so her and her husband weren't drinking. Two of the people were so drunk by the time we got there that they weren't much fun. So the other 4 of us enjoyed a few drinks and played some fun (and not so fun) games. It was a good night had by all.
I am excited to start a new year. This is my year to make it a new start, a fresh start, a healthy start. I know, it's so cliche to talk about starting over at the start of the year, but this is my year. My fucking year.
So here is to hoping that your 2015 is better than you ever dreamed.
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Of budgets, menus, and a new year
So it is finally New Year's Eve. When did that happen? How has this year just flown by? Holy cow! I remember my grandmother telling me when I was young "Don't wish your life away. As you get older you start wishing for it to slow down, but it's too late. Enjoy it." And I understand what she meant now.
So on this New Year's Eve I am sitting here taking stock of things in my life and things I have to do still. I am sitting on the couch surrounded by those I love and those that love me and it is amazing. My partner is sleeping on the couch next to me. Between us is our cuddle dog. On the stairs in front of me is our not so cuddle dog. He is passed out on his back, feet running in the air as he dreams of the next rabbit he will chase. Today we also have a visiting doggie and she is sacked out on the floor. And I am so content with life. It is nice.
While everyone else is sleeping in the house, I am working on things needed to start 2015 off right. First on that list is our budget. I hate budgeting. I hate it with a passion. But when you live on one income, it is vitally important. I am making the preliminary budget based off our last year budget. We didn't get a raise this year, so it's going to end up being less extra money this year. We do a modified envelope system, making it work for us. We put everything on our credit card and pay it off every month. So instead of pulling money out of our bank account, we use play money. It works well for us. We keep the envelopes in the kitchen and pull money out each week to match our budget.
The second important thing is our menu. I am trying so hard to create fun and exciting menus for the new year. I am struggling for some reason. When you change your eating habits sometimes it's hard to make a menu but it shouldn't be, and I know this. There are tons of resources online which I think might be my problem. I am finding too much stuff and my brain isn't able to make it all work. Ahhhhhh.
I am also trying to make a blogging schedule so I can keep this thing going and make everyone happy. This is proving nearly impossible.
Tonight we have plans to go to a friend's house and celebrate quietly. No raucous parties, no drinking till you are sloshed. Just a bon fire, some good eats, and great friends. May your new year be ever better than before.
So this new year's eve I am spending my time preparing for the new year as best I can. What are you doing?
So on this New Year's Eve I am sitting here taking stock of things in my life and things I have to do still. I am sitting on the couch surrounded by those I love and those that love me and it is amazing. My partner is sleeping on the couch next to me. Between us is our cuddle dog. On the stairs in front of me is our not so cuddle dog. He is passed out on his back, feet running in the air as he dreams of the next rabbit he will chase. Today we also have a visiting doggie and she is sacked out on the floor. And I am so content with life. It is nice.
While everyone else is sleeping in the house, I am working on things needed to start 2015 off right. First on that list is our budget. I hate budgeting. I hate it with a passion. But when you live on one income, it is vitally important. I am making the preliminary budget based off our last year budget. We didn't get a raise this year, so it's going to end up being less extra money this year. We do a modified envelope system, making it work for us. We put everything on our credit card and pay it off every month. So instead of pulling money out of our bank account, we use play money. It works well for us. We keep the envelopes in the kitchen and pull money out each week to match our budget.
The second important thing is our menu. I am trying so hard to create fun and exciting menus for the new year. I am struggling for some reason. When you change your eating habits sometimes it's hard to make a menu but it shouldn't be, and I know this. There are tons of resources online which I think might be my problem. I am finding too much stuff and my brain isn't able to make it all work. Ahhhhhh.
I am also trying to make a blogging schedule so I can keep this thing going and make everyone happy. This is proving nearly impossible.
Tonight we have plans to go to a friend's house and celebrate quietly. No raucous parties, no drinking till you are sloshed. Just a bon fire, some good eats, and great friends. May your new year be ever better than before.
So this new year's eve I am spending my time preparing for the new year as best I can. What are you doing?
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Shake it off...
Oh how I wish it was so easy to shake off sickness or extra weight. That would make life so much easier!
I am still sick. Finally went to the doctor, well the nurse at the clinic, who told me it's basically a horrible virus that is kicking my ass. She did give me some cough syrup so I can sleep and some nasal decongestant. She gave me a script for antibiotics as well because the fluid in my ears is on the borderline of sinus infection. But I have strict instructions to wait till January 3rd or later to take those, and only if I am still feeling bad. She is hoping that getting me to sleep and taking down the sinus swelling will prevent an actual infection. I am happy with her decision, though I wish she had a magic pill to make it better.
My In-laws also just left today. I really do like them, but I also like that they do short visits up here. We did all sorts of fun things that revolved around food and alcohol, my two favorite things so far. We really had a lot of fun, despite me being sick. Bourbon did make me feel better, though!
The next couple weeks is going to be all about getting used to be up early and moving around for the bulk of the day. School starts soon!
Until Next Time!
I am still sick. Finally went to the doctor, well the nurse at the clinic, who told me it's basically a horrible virus that is kicking my ass. She did give me some cough syrup so I can sleep and some nasal decongestant. She gave me a script for antibiotics as well because the fluid in my ears is on the borderline of sinus infection. But I have strict instructions to wait till January 3rd or later to take those, and only if I am still feeling bad. She is hoping that getting me to sleep and taking down the sinus swelling will prevent an actual infection. I am happy with her decision, though I wish she had a magic pill to make it better.
My In-laws also just left today. I really do like them, but I also like that they do short visits up here. We did all sorts of fun things that revolved around food and alcohol, my two favorite things so far. We really had a lot of fun, despite me being sick. Bourbon did make me feel better, though!
The next couple weeks is going to be all about getting used to be up early and moving around for the bulk of the day. School starts soon!
Until Next Time!
Friday, December 26, 2014
On the day after Christmas, the universe gave to me
sickness. Fucking sickness. Stupid sickness.
I'm going to go back and cuddle under my blankets now. Hopefully the universe was better to you.
And we'll get back to regularly scheduled posts after my in-laws leave on the 30th!
I'm going to go back and cuddle under my blankets now. Hopefully the universe was better to you.
And we'll get back to regularly scheduled posts after my in-laws leave on the 30th!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Looking ahead to 2015
I don't do New Years Resolutions. Let's be honest, no one keeps those anyway. I know I never have in the past.
So this year I am trying something new. I am creating a plan, a plan to make 2015 my year. More my year than what I hope happens outside of my control. So the last couple of days I have been sitting down to map out my 2015, logically. This is what I have come up with so far.
Outside of my control:
Adopt a baby, hopefully. We have been trying for 4 years already to start a family. We have gone several different routes, including attempting to adopt from foster care, and so far we have been thwarted at every turn. 2015 we are renewing our hopes of starting a family and bringing a baby into our household. This is mostly outside of our control, though, so while we can only do so much we are still hoping 2015 is our year to start our family. In the beginning of the year we are going to finish our homestudy update. That is pretty much where our ability to control the situation ends, haha. We have selected a new placing agency and hopefully we will be picked and things will get moving in the right direction.
Inside my control:
Get good grades. I start back in school to finish my bachelors in January and I am excited and terrified at the same time. Because of some mix ups with my associates degree, I have to retake a course which puts my Spring semester hours up to 17. That includes two sciences with labs and one of them happens to be Chemistry. I am not a big fan of chemistry, not at all. So I hope to be able to have enough in me to make 17 hours quick work and make good grades.
Lose weight. Losing weight is the bane of my existence but it is a requirement. I have a horribly high BMI, and while I will never fit into the perfect box for my BMI, my doctor has explained that if I can get my numbers down by about 10% I can come off medications for my blood pressure. My goal is to lose around 25% of my body weight in 2015, and it is doable.
Medication free 2015. Hand in hand with my weight loss goals is my want to get off my medication. I am lucky enough to only take one medication for my blood pressure, and it is directly related to my weight. So I have to lose 10% to get rid of the pills and that is a huge goal in 2015.
Mindful meditation. Most of my adult life I have done a practice of mindful meditation. In 2014 that has fallen by the wayside for a number of reasons. In 2015 I am bringing that back. I am such a nicer person when I get some time for me to just sit and breathe and accept life's woes and triumphs.
Write more. I love to write, so every year I make a goal to write more. 2015 will be my year to write more!
So those are the main goals of 2015. The difference in setting goals is I'm not waiting till Jan 1 to put some of those into play. Grades and homestudy and adoption all have to wait, but I'm slowly working myself into the other three. Part of my hatred for New Years resolutions is the shock to the system that seems to happen while you give up everything you deem bad for you. It's unsustainable. So I have already started on weight loss and meditation. Those are another post though.
What are your goals for 2015? Do you do New Years Resolutions or just decide throughout the year?
Until Next Time!
So this year I am trying something new. I am creating a plan, a plan to make 2015 my year. More my year than what I hope happens outside of my control. So the last couple of days I have been sitting down to map out my 2015, logically. This is what I have come up with so far.
Outside of my control:
Adopt a baby, hopefully. We have been trying for 4 years already to start a family. We have gone several different routes, including attempting to adopt from foster care, and so far we have been thwarted at every turn. 2015 we are renewing our hopes of starting a family and bringing a baby into our household. This is mostly outside of our control, though, so while we can only do so much we are still hoping 2015 is our year to start our family. In the beginning of the year we are going to finish our homestudy update. That is pretty much where our ability to control the situation ends, haha. We have selected a new placing agency and hopefully we will be picked and things will get moving in the right direction.
Inside my control:
Get good grades. I start back in school to finish my bachelors in January and I am excited and terrified at the same time. Because of some mix ups with my associates degree, I have to retake a course which puts my Spring semester hours up to 17. That includes two sciences with labs and one of them happens to be Chemistry. I am not a big fan of chemistry, not at all. So I hope to be able to have enough in me to make 17 hours quick work and make good grades.
Lose weight. Losing weight is the bane of my existence but it is a requirement. I have a horribly high BMI, and while I will never fit into the perfect box for my BMI, my doctor has explained that if I can get my numbers down by about 10% I can come off medications for my blood pressure. My goal is to lose around 25% of my body weight in 2015, and it is doable.
Medication free 2015. Hand in hand with my weight loss goals is my want to get off my medication. I am lucky enough to only take one medication for my blood pressure, and it is directly related to my weight. So I have to lose 10% to get rid of the pills and that is a huge goal in 2015.
Mindful meditation. Most of my adult life I have done a practice of mindful meditation. In 2014 that has fallen by the wayside for a number of reasons. In 2015 I am bringing that back. I am such a nicer person when I get some time for me to just sit and breathe and accept life's woes and triumphs.
Write more. I love to write, so every year I make a goal to write more. 2015 will be my year to write more!
So those are the main goals of 2015. The difference in setting goals is I'm not waiting till Jan 1 to put some of those into play. Grades and homestudy and adoption all have to wait, but I'm slowly working myself into the other three. Part of my hatred for New Years resolutions is the shock to the system that seems to happen while you give up everything you deem bad for you. It's unsustainable. So I have already started on weight loss and meditation. Those are another post though.
What are your goals for 2015? Do you do New Years Resolutions or just decide throughout the year?
Until Next Time!
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Yay new ideas!
So it is the weekend, which means my brain is kind of in slumber mode. The weekend is the only time my partner and I get to spend together without having to worry about work and cooking and working out and all the other things that we worry about during the week. So I don't do a lot of writing or planning, normally.
This weekend however I have had a of brain mojo! Outlining a new idea, spending time on an old idea, and even working on my current novel. I haven't much touched the idea for NaNo this weekend, but I have touched just about everything else! Despite writing so much, I have also been cleaning like crazy. Got our guest room cleaned up and have one other room to work on. Our bedroom also needs some work, but it's more just dusting and vacuuming in there than actually cleaning.
I hope you have been having a great weekend.
Until Next Time!
This weekend however I have had a of brain mojo! Outlining a new idea, spending time on an old idea, and even working on my current novel. I haven't much touched the idea for NaNo this weekend, but I have touched just about everything else! Despite writing so much, I have also been cleaning like crazy. Got our guest room cleaned up and have one other room to work on. Our bedroom also needs some work, but it's more just dusting and vacuuming in there than actually cleaning.
I hope you have been having a great weekend.
Until Next Time!
Friday, November 7, 2014
Shaking things up a bit!
So, I am shaking things up a bit. Basically I took pretty pictures of my stir fry the other night and decided I would put it on the blog! Aren't you excited? (Okay, yeah, no one is nearly as excited as I am about food.) But these are, in my humble opinion, very pretty pictures. I am not a professional photographer, nor do I play one on the Internet. These are merely some joe-schmoe's supper pictures. I think you can appreciate that!
So I made stir fry the other night. It was delicious. I'll give you a mark up of the recipe, but understand that I really don't measure, unless I'm baking. So please taste everything and adjust as needed. Also, we are attempting to be primal in our eating. This is basically paleo light. We have cut out most grains from our diet. So everything we use is gluten free, but I'm pretty sure it'll work with everything. We are not purists, this recipe has soy sauce in it (I can hear people gasping!) and you know what? It was good.
Key:
T = Tablespoon
t = teaspoon
Ingredients:
1.5 T Tamari (gluten free soy sauce)
1.5 T Rice wine vinegar
1 T Hoisen Sauce
2 t Mirin
2 t Sweet red chili sauce
1 T Honey
2 pound flank steak (or skirt steak, or whatever steak, or even chicken)
a couple heads of broccoli
2 Carrots matchsticked
half a green pepper, matchsticked
half an orange pepper, matchsticked
half a yellow pepper, matchsticked
any other veggies you want to throw in (seriously, snap pears would probably be delicious! We've also added water chestnuts as well for crunch!)
Recipe:
Mix all the sauces together. Take 1/3 of the sauce and reserve it for later use.
Cut the flank steak into strips, thinner is better than thicker.
Place the cut up steak into the 2/3 remaining sauce, allow to marinate in the fridge for an hour (or less, or more, up to about 8 hours I would think. The longer you can marinate the yummier it is!)
Heat a wok or large pan on the stove to a nice medium high.
Please a couple tablespoons oil of choice into the wok
Put meat into the wok and brown on all sides.
Remove meat and put in a bit more oil and the veggies
Once veggies are cooked to your liking (we like a little snap, but not much), put the meat back in and pour over the reserved sauce.
Heat till everything is warm.
Serve
Until Next Time
So I made stir fry the other night. It was delicious. I'll give you a mark up of the recipe, but understand that I really don't measure, unless I'm baking. So please taste everything and adjust as needed. Also, we are attempting to be primal in our eating. This is basically paleo light. We have cut out most grains from our diet. So everything we use is gluten free, but I'm pretty sure it'll work with everything. We are not purists, this recipe has soy sauce in it (I can hear people gasping!) and you know what? It was good.
Key:
T = Tablespoon
t = teaspoon
Ingredients:
1.5 T Tamari (gluten free soy sauce)
1.5 T Rice wine vinegar
1 T Hoisen Sauce
2 t Mirin
2 t Sweet red chili sauce
1 T Honey
2 pound flank steak (or skirt steak, or whatever steak, or even chicken)
a couple heads of broccoli
2 Carrots matchsticked
half a green pepper, matchsticked
half an orange pepper, matchsticked
half a yellow pepper, matchsticked
any other veggies you want to throw in (seriously, snap pears would probably be delicious! We've also added water chestnuts as well for crunch!)
 |
| Isn't that broccoli pretty? |
Recipe:
Mix all the sauces together. Take 1/3 of the sauce and reserve it for later use.
Cut the flank steak into strips, thinner is better than thicker.
Place the cut up steak into the 2/3 remaining sauce, allow to marinate in the fridge for an hour (or less, or more, up to about 8 hours I would think. The longer you can marinate the yummier it is!)
Heat a wok or large pan on the stove to a nice medium high.
Please a couple tablespoons oil of choice into the wok
Put meat into the wok and brown on all sides.
Remove meat and put in a bit more oil and the veggies
Once veggies are cooked to your liking (we like a little snap, but not much), put the meat back in and pour over the reserved sauce.
Heat till everything is warm.
Serve
 |
| The pretty stir fry.. and the picture that started this whole post! |
Until Next Time
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Heart to Heart
I hate election day. I especially hate the day after election day. One side always loses and the other gloats. It doesn't matter what party you belong to, it's true. Don't even try to deny it, you can't. My side lost last night, and I feel hung over. Or better what I imagine being hung over feels like, I wouldn't know. And now I have to deal with all my friends being quiet and the other side gloating like they won the superbowl. It's a crappy, rainy day here.
I think we all just need a moment to have a heart to heart. Do I honestly think the world is going to shift because of this election? No. I worry about what policies are going to try to be rammed through. Who isn't when they aren't on top? I worry because I see who won in Florida and I know where they stand on the "gay marriage debate". I worry because our Supreme Court Justices are getting older and it will be harder to have a court that goes in my favor if, heaven forbid, someone were to die or retire.
Other than that? Nothing will change. Nothing ever changes. Sure, a few things change here or there, but the total output is exactly the same (nothing). Elections leave me with a feeling of excitement and a feeling of dread, at the exact same time. It is quite an interesting feeling, to be honest.
So, election season is over for now. I am excited to not see smear ads all over the TV at all times. Today I am lounging lazily with my puppies inside our extremely cold house, curled up with a blanket, drinking some nice hot tea. The world didn't end, my life is still exactly the same.
Until Next Time.
I think we all just need a moment to have a heart to heart. Do I honestly think the world is going to shift because of this election? No. I worry about what policies are going to try to be rammed through. Who isn't when they aren't on top? I worry because I see who won in Florida and I know where they stand on the "gay marriage debate". I worry because our Supreme Court Justices are getting older and it will be harder to have a court that goes in my favor if, heaven forbid, someone were to die or retire.
Other than that? Nothing will change. Nothing ever changes. Sure, a few things change here or there, but the total output is exactly the same (nothing). Elections leave me with a feeling of excitement and a feeling of dread, at the exact same time. It is quite an interesting feeling, to be honest.
So, election season is over for now. I am excited to not see smear ads all over the TV at all times. Today I am lounging lazily with my puppies inside our extremely cold house, curled up with a blanket, drinking some nice hot tea. The world didn't end, my life is still exactly the same.
Until Next Time.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
More world building!
I am stuck on world building. It is taking up so much time right now that I feel like I have forgotten what my own world looks like. I have actually taken to drawing the world where my characters live and I am not an artist. My partner typically looks at my drawings and just nods and smiles. I repeat I am not an artist.
So today I spent some time editing some photos I took a while ago of some train tracks in my state's capital. I am no photographer either, but I like to take pictures of objects that I can work into my stories. No, this set of tracks isn't going to make it into the current novel, but it did give me the opportunity to play around with my world.
There isn't much else going on related to writing. My story is kinda stalled, but my world is wonderfully written!
Until Next Time.
There isn't much else going on related to writing. My story is kinda stalled, but my world is wonderfully written!
Until Next Time.
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