Love wins

I sit here and find myself amazed.  37 minutes ago, SCOTUS came down with the historic ruling that marriage is for all people.  Marriage is for everyone.  I can get married.

I can get married.

I can fucking get married.

My daughter will be protected under the marriage of her fathers. 

The marriage of her fathers.

Holy fucking shit.

I know this issue is one that is very divisive, but I don't care.  If you are standing on the wrong side of history, you are wrong.  You are so wrong that even the Supreme Court tells you you are wrong.  Please reflect on your wrongness and realize that you are standing for hatred.

But for now, for now we are celebrating for equality.  The march forward, the march towards equality, is one step closer now.  One step closer to being considered just a person, who happens to sleep with the same gender, but more just a person. 

I am a person who can now get married.

In all 50 states.

This is a good pride day.  This is a good pride day.

This is a good day.

This is good.

Until Next Time.

I live here

I live here.  I live in the gay community.  I live as part of the statistic of gay youth who were homeless.  I live as part of the gay youth who no longer have a family.  I live here.

I try not to live in the past, and I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt, but when a straight person tells me what I am or am not allowed to be upset about it really pisses me off.  I don't speak 100% for the gay community... we are all individuals who are just put together because of who we love, but as part of the gay community I am allowed to have feelings on things and I'll be damned if straight people are going to tell me it's okay. 

I live here.  I fucking live here day in and day out.  I am gay.  I cannot hide that I am gay.  I cannot pretend I am not gay.  I love a man with all that I am, no amount of pretending will change that.  I live this "gay lifestyle" every day of my life.  Please don't tell me what I'm allowed to be upset over. 

I cannot stand this idea that because gay marriage is "settled" (which it's really not) that suddenly there aren't any problems in the gay community, and we are totally accepted.  More than once I've had someone tell me "Well, you all can get married now.  I don't get why you still feel the need to act like you are a minority."  Excuse me? 

How many straight people are kicked off buses for kissing?  How many straight people are the target of crimes where they have homophobic phrases carved into their arm simply because they dare to be different?  How many children must die before we realize there is still a problem?  How many gay youth must attempt suicide before people realize there is a problem?  Gay youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide.  1/4 of all trans youth have stated they have attempted suicide in their lifetime.  I attempted suicide.  3 times in my life to be exact. When do people realize that LGBT people have a problem?

Newsflash:

THERE IS A PROBLEM. 

So when a heterosexual person tells me "Well, I think it's okay" I really want to respond "Well if YOU think it's okay, then it MUST be okay!"  but I don't.  My goal is not to alienate people or make enemies... but sometimes I really wonder what people have to be thinking when they open their mouth. 

::I truly love straight allies.  I think they are the best thing since sliced bread, so please don't think I want straight people to not be around or to never speak.  But sometimes it's not about the allies, it's about those of us who live LGBT lives day in and day out.  I live here, I know what is going on in a way you never will.::

I live here.  Please just listen to me sometimes.  I live here. 

Until Next Time.

Why are you so argumentative?

I feel like sometimes the simplest questions can create the need for complex answers.  I was asked just the other day why I was "so argumentative".  It took me a moment to figure out what the person doing the asking was talking about... and then it hit me.  They are talking about the fact that I don't agree with them and instead of letting it drop while they spout their beliefs, I questioned them.  Thus I'm argumentative.

I sit here now debating if I even want to try to explain this or just let it go.  I am not an argumentative person, I am merely trying to understand your beliefs.... and the only context I have to understand you is through my own experiences.  I cannot experience something that you have, but I can compare it to similar things I have experienced.  Of course you don't think they have anything to do with one another, but that is because your experiences are worse to you than mine are to you, but mine are worse to me than they are to you.  Make sense?

No of course not!  Because trying to understand life in the way you live it is complicated, complex.  Life is complicated and complex.  Understanding, trying to empathize with someone, is often done through the lens of your own experiences.  And that is okay.  When someone tries to compare your experiences to their own, they aren't necessarily trying to belittle your issues.  They are merely trying to find the best way to empathize, to show a sense of understanding and camaraderie to you and your experiences.

And that is exactly what I am trying to do when I "argue" with you.  I am trying to understand your beliefs as they compare to my own.  I am trying to understand your way of thinking within the only context I can.  I can't magically have your experiences or see life through your eyes.  I only have what I have and that is what I'm working with.  And just because I am asking questions and challenge what you say doesn't mean I don't agree with you.  I am still trying to understand it through my lens... and that has nothing to do with my agreement with you at all.

I hate being told I'm argumentative because I don't immediately come over to the other side or I ask questions.  Sometimes I'm just trying to understand... and you should too.

Until Next Time.

I don't want your pity...

I want to be treated like a human being.

So right now there is a blog post by some random Christian going around that has a graphic about how if you are FORCED to bake a gay person a cake, you should bake them two.  It's based on Matthew 5:41, which reads "And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain."  Which basically means if you are forced, not of your free will, to not only walk them one mile, walk them two.  Because you should embrace the trials you have forced upon you by those evil sinners and go above and beyond!

Are you fucking kidding me?!

This martyr complex some people have going for them right now is getting really old.  If you don't want to bake a cake for a gay wedding no one is forcing you.  Sure as hell aren't forcing you to bake two so you can be a saint amongst sinners.  You can decline service to anyone you want, but keep your God to yourself.  Merely say no and move on.  

Is it that difficult to just say no?  

I get so frustrated when people want to treat gays like second class citizens, but I get even more frustrated when people want to pretend to do good so their god will like them better and they can rub it in everyone's face.  Want to know what Jesus said about showing off how Christian you are?  

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."  Matthew 6:5

So how about you stop trying to show off how awesome you are and just live your life.  Just think how awesome the world would be if everyone would just live their life and stop trying to police what two consenting adults choose to do in their bedroom.

So I don't want your pity, I just want to live my life with my partner, happily ever after.

Until Next Time.

Stop telling me what not to say!

Nothing raises my hackles more than someone telling me not to say something.  Especially when that thing I'm saying has nothing what so ever to do with them. 

"I could've rocked the spot
Instead of being just another faggot like I am
I played that shit straight"

~MSI Faggot

I call myself a faggot quite often.  I refer to myself and my partner as "two faggots playing house" on a regular basis.  I don't claim to be a saint.  I typically swear like a sailor and make no apologies.  I despise being told that a word is "naughty" and I shouldn't use it.  Of course, there are exceptions.  I won't say the N word, or call a person the R word.  I find those two words disgusting... but I wouldn't dream of telling a black person they can't use the N word, or telling someone with mental deficiencies that they cannot call themselves the R word.   And there is where the difference is between myself and people out there who want to police words. 

I am gay.  I make no apologies for this fact.  My whole life I listened to people call gay men faggots and sissies and all manners of names.  As a child I cowered to think someone would call me that when I grew up.  Then I realized that if I called myself a faggot, someone else calling me this hurt a hell of a lot less.  Sure, maybe not the best way to cope with such a thing, but fuck you, it's what worked.  Starting at about 13, I identified as a faggot and that word lost it's power.

As life moves on and people feel it's okay to say shit to people in public, I've learned other things I needed to own to remove it's power.  "Sissy" is one of those words.  I am not a sissy, but dammit I will call myself that to deal with certain things.  I hate spiders, totally have irrational fear.  So I am a spider sissy.  I own that.  Fudge packer is another one that surprisingly I despised and now own.  The "two faggots playing house" comes from an actual insult we received here, in our home town.  How's that for a fun and warm welcome?!  So now I own that phrase.  My partner and I are two faggots who play house.. we own a house, and hopefully soon we will have children and all that bullshit. 

So if you haven't caught on, I own these "insults" because it's empowering for me.  I own the words and fuck you for saying I shouldn't say that.  It really gets my goat when straight people tell me not to say that.  Puh-lease, YOU can't say that word, I can.  You can't call me a faggot and me not say something.  But I am allowed to call myself what I want.  I am a faggot and pretty damn proud of that!

So please stop telling me what I can and cannot say.  It makes you look like an idiot.  Stop telling me I cannot call myself such an "insult".  Just stop.  You worry about your word choices and stop attacking the people you are supposedly "allied" with.  Because when you start policing the words within the community, you are silencing my voice.  You are silencing the voices of faggots everywhere.  And that is not okay.  Take your straight privilege and shove it up your ass, because you are no longer welcomed in my community. 

Until Next Time.

Why do you have so many gay posts?

So it finally happened.  I checked my email associated with this blog and there is was.  The first email asking why I had so many gay posts.  I have to admit, I am so amused by this that I have decided to dedicate a whole post to the topic. 

During June of 2014 I did a Pride month of posting.  I plan to do it again this June, and hell I may make up "Gay posting month" just to have ANOTHER month of pretty strictly gay posts.  Why?  Because I am gay.  I have posted a couple Facebook statuses that read "Did you know I'm gay?!" in a very sarcastic tone, and so now I bring that sarcasm to the blog!  YAY!

So in case there was any question, and to neatly put me in a box that works for you, I am gay.  Yeup, gay gay gay gay gay.  I am a homosexual.  And, just in case you were wondering, I make no apologies for that.  I am not sorry that I'm gay, I do not apologize for this fact of my life.  At the same time I also don't go around shouting it from the roofs.  I however do not hide it in most aspects of my life. 

So why did I do a month of posts about gay things if I don't go screaming about it from rooftops?  Because I am normal and feel that my sexuality shouldn't be a thing.  I want to be able to make posts and not have to feel like I'm doing something controversial or something secretive.  I mean, for sure, I am not going around fucking in the streets... but you would think I was based on some responses I get around here. 

For example, my partner and I don't pay separately when we go out to eat.  I know, scandalous.  We were at a chicken wing sports bar and when it was realized that we were paying together because we were more than buddies there watching a game, our waiter, rather loudly, declared us faggots as he walked away from our table.  Why?  Because we didn't have the intelligence to pay separately, so we were shoving our homosexuality down other people's throats. 

Another example?  Okay.  My partner and I hold hands in public, occasionally, when appropriate.  Which really means we don't hold hands in public when people can see us, or unless we are at something like the Pride functions we attend (mostly because we don't want to deal with assholes and it's not worth out lives to hold hands.  And yes, our lives would be in danger because the gay panic defense is still a thing).  So at the movies once, we were holding hands in the dark, after the house lights went down when the main attraction started.  It wasn't five minutes into the movie that I heard the asshole behind us start up.  "I can't believe that.  They are holding hands.  Ugh, not everyone needs to know they are gay!"  Mind you, he was bitching while cuddling the woman next to him.  Not just holding hands, no, actually had his arms around her with the middle arm rest up and her laying into his body.  But our hand holding in the dark was such an affront because we were shoving our gayness down his throat. 

Do you see the problem here?  The reason I have an entire month of gay posts is not to "shove gay down [your] throat".  It's because I am gay and that month is important to me.  Those posts aren't anything way out there.  Those posts aren't anything you need to be all that concerned about.  If you do not like my month of gay posts, that's okay.  You don't have to like them, nor do you have to read them.  Why?  Because they aren't addressing you.  Do you understand now?

I guess the answer of "Why do you have so many gay posts" is a very simple one.  I am gay.  This is my life, as boring as it is, it is petty gay, because I am gay (and boring really).  I write posts here for me, for my memories, for my own benefit.  I can't stop you from being offended by my posts, but I feel if you are offended by what I write, you would be offended by meeting me.  So why give a single fuck of bother against someone you probably wouldn't click with if they were sitting across from you?  It's okay you don't like my gay posts, but I highly doubt it has to do with my month of gay posts and more to do with just the gay aspect.  If that is you, we wouldn't be friends anyway so please, go away. 

Until Next Time.

Stop and think about it

All around us right now we are slammed with images and stories that make it sometimes hard to believe we are living in a society so intolerant of people.  AT astonishing numbers GLBT youth are killing themselves because society has taught them they are less than.  This is my attempt to reconcile what I seeing and how I am feeling.

The big "in the spotlight" suicide right now is that of Leelah Alcorn.  Leelah was bullied, not so much by society, but by her parents.  She was drugged up, told she was less than, that she was mentally deranged and needed to be "fixed".  Instead of embracing their child and helping her navigate a world that was already against her, her parents turned on her.  As a result she felt there was no other choice but to walk in front of a semi truck and end the pain she felt.  A permanent solution to a temporary problem.  The only solution she felt she had.  And that is tragic.

Before Leelah was Ronin Shimizu, a 12 year old child who committed suicide after being the target of bullying because he was different.  I do not know, and cannot find anything stating, if Ronin was gay, and that doesn't matter.  He was bullied by people who called him gay, who challenged his maleness because he liked to cheer.  Because he was different.  Because he was true to himself.  This little boy was 12 for fucks sake.  Who cares what his preference in lovers might have been?  He was a child who opted to take his own life rather than face anymore bullying.  How can our society be okay with this?

I could go on and on with teens who have felt they needed to take their life to get away from the bullshit society has put on them, but I think these two instances show my point.  Why are we putting adult problems on children?  Why are we burdening children with the bigotry of the world?  Why aren't we embracing our children for who they are, not who we want them to be?  Why aren't we embracing our children.

I am sick to death of hearing stories where people feel like suicide is the only solution because of the pain that is inflicted on them by other people.  Wake up society.  Wake up and realize your truth is not every one's truth.  The way you choose to live your life is not the way other people choose to live their life.  Stop teaching children that men act this way and women act that way.  Stop using gay as a slur.  Stop putting adult burdens on our children!  Just stop.

Think about what you are doing, what message you are sending to the youth of today.

And if you are a teen who is thinking about suicide, please listen to me.  I am not a paid actor, I am not a paid anyone.  I am a student, I am a normal person, just like you.  And I can tell you it gets better.  I hate to sound cliche, but IT. GETS. BETTER.  Yes, your parents may hate you, mine do.  Yes, your friends may abandon you, mine did.  Yes, you may find yourself alone in the this... but you aren't really alone.  There are a lot of us out there who have been in your shoes.  There are a lot of us out there who have dealt with everything you are dealing with right now.  It's hard.  It sucks.  It shouldn't have to be... but I promise you, life gets better.  Anyone who tells you that you are living the best days of your life, right now, are lying to you.  I am still relatively young and I know even I am not living the best days of my life right now.  I am nearly 30 and enjoying life, in college, surrounded by the family I have chosen (and none of it is biological) and I promise you, the best is yet to come.


If you need help, please seek it out.  The best resource I know available is the Trevor Help Line.

The Trevor Line.  Those who brought you the It Gets Better campaign also offer crisis intervention.  Call them: 866-488-7386 or go to their website Trevor Crisis help

Please know that you are worth it, you have a life ahead of you.  People are here to support you.  Let them help you.  You are worth living for.

Until Next Time.

Pride month wrap up

Holy cannoli!  What a wild ride this month as been.  It is astonishing to me that it's been an entire month of pride and that it is now over.  I have a bit to catch up on, so we'll start with Saturday and the second pride I attended and we'll end with a bit of a wrap up of the whole month, okay?  Okay!

Welcome to pride in our city!  It's not much.  We don't have a parade or anything exciting like that, but we do have a street we shut down for a few hours!  Woohoo!

I found this queen interesting.  The sign basically was against a local food chain and this queen was all about being friendly, chatting it up, and being all excited about being at pride.  The outfit made my day!

The best part of our pride, and really the reason everyone goes, is because of the Drag Show!  We know how to put on a show here.  This was my favorite queen of the entire night.  I know the picture is kinda awful, but she was seriously awesome.

This was my warm fuzzy drag king.  We don't have many kings around here, but we actually had 2 king performances this year.  This one was YMCA (did the outfits give it away?) and not only did it have 2 kings on the stage together, the military man is the father of the police officer.  It is awesome to see parents encouraging their children.  They were also a fun performance.

This was a personal love of this performance.  The only queen to bring an interpreter up on stage with her!  And he did a kick ass job.  I loved it!  Absolutely loved it.

And of course, the reason I know our little pride is becoming something, protesters!  This is the first year we've had people come out and protest...

LOOK people holding signs!

And our way of dealing with protestors here?

Pride flags and chanting for them to go home.

So that wraps up our pride.  Small but awesome!


So to wrap up this month, Pride is important.  From George Takei to drag queens, safe sex, and even remembering that when our children come out you just need to breathe, Pride is important. Pride reminds us that it is okay to exist and there are other people out there who are just like you.  What more can you ask for in life than to know that you are not alone? 

In case that needs to be repeated... you are not alone. 

Until Next Time.

Compromises and other fun things

So today is the last Finish the Sentence Friday (FTSF) of Pride month!  Today's topic is The one thing I'll never compromise on is...  and this is a good one for pride!

So I started going through the list in my head of things that I really won't compromise on and that happened to also be about pride.  I realized that the most important aspect is the one I won't compromise on.  So my FTSF answer:

The one thing I'll never compromise on is being who I am.

photo credit: Photochiel via photopin cc

I have found, in my life time, that there is no reason to compromise who you are.  It is never worth it and in the end you always lose.  Just you, no one else.

I am not beautiful, I am not handsome, I am not rich, I am not super smart, but I am me.  And I am the only me that will exist in today's world.  Isn't that awesome?

I tried to hide myself when I was younger, merely out of a need to survive.  I needed to stay in the good graces of my religious family in order to make sure I had food to eat and the ability to freely move around.  I learned early on in life that you sometimes have to play by other people's rules, if nothing else than for survival.  During this time of growing up, I was not being who I was truly.  I was compromising myself in order to survive.

Fast forward a few years and suddenly I am compromising on the other side in order to have and keep friends.  I didn't realize at that time that friendship wasn't all give and no take, it was supposed to be a bit of give and a bit of take and a whole lot of really enjoying each other.  Instead I found myself pretending to hate straight people, pretending to be ultra femme, pretending to like this music or that.  Pretending to enjoy staying up all night and then having to go to work the next day.   So I was, once again, compromising who I was.

Then I met my partner and things started changing.  He didn't care about my past, nor my "friends", nor the bad habits I had picked up.  He let me just be when we were together, and I noticed a marked change in my behavior and the way I acted in general.  No more did I find that I was having to change who I was to fit in, to be friends with someone, to be romantic.  And it was nice.

Then I saw how he was with his friends, and suddenly it clicked.  With his friends, he came out to them pretty effortlessly.  Yeah, there was a bit of a worry, but he still did it.  He doesn't have a lot of contact with them anymore (because a lot of them have turned in to assholes) but he didn't worry about losing friendships.  He told his parents about a year and half into our relationship that we were together.  His mom was like "And water's wet, what's your point" and that was that.  It was amazing!  To see someone just be themselves, it was amazing.  It was also the reason I decided I couldn't compromise on who I was any longer.

Today there is a bit of a glitch in my plan to just be who I am.  While in reality I can be whomever I choose to be, my partner has a bit of a problem.  Damn living in a conservative state!  He has to compromise in order to keep his job.  But me?  I don't have to compromise any longer, and it's nice.  I am living the good life and a lot of it is because I don't have to hide who I am or who I love.
(editing to add that my Partner doesn't have to worry about being fired to us being together, as it's pretty obvious we have insurance together and his company knows.  He has to hide it because it's the bosses who make decisions and can get people fired.  His boss is a conservative, independent fundamentalist Baptist who proselytizes to people at work pretty constantly.   We don't like the game, but we play by the rules... at least until we can move!)

What will you not compromise on in your life?

Until Next Time.

And we keep marching on

People all over the united states are fighting the good fight to continue the momentum we have in gaining rights to marry.  Just today I learned of two more fallen bans!

Source

Congratulations to the people of Indiana.  It was decreed that they were to immediately allow marriage and in Indianapolis the county clerk was issuing marriage licenses within a couple hours.  I am so excited for the people up there who get to celebrate this pride month with a marriage!

Source

The other marriage news is kinda big, especially because it comes from a higher court.  The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Utah cannot ban same sex marriage.  using the 14th amendment as their basis for the ruling, Utah's same sex marriage ban was struck down.  however, the justices immediately put the ruling on hold so that it could be appealed.  But this is the case that is thought to be going to the Supreme Court as the big marriage case.

And this is huge.  HUGE I tell you.  The fact that these cases are falling left and right makes you hope that the Supreme court will see the rulings and the reasoning used in the lower courts to see the truth of the matter.



According to the 14th amendment of the United States of America:

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Basically you cannot deny someone in America something based on the fact that you find it icky or gross.  You cannot say that 2 consenting adults cannot get married simply because your God says they shouldn't be allowed.

So two more cases, two more victories.

Happy day!!!

Until Next Time!

Happy Pride!!

So Saturday, we attended a pride parade up in Columbus, OH.  It was Takei's pride and it was pretty damn awesome!  It was the first time my partner and I had been to an actual pride parade.  Our city just has a festival, not so much a parade.  The 2.5 hour parade was so diverse and so awesome!  It's amazing to see so many people who are just out there to live and let live!

I took quite a few pictures, but below I'll show just a few highlights from everything!

 

What is pride without hot men and drag queens?  This float was all about safe sex and remembering that you can be safe and still have fun!

 This was probably my favorite demonstration.  A nun riding a motorcycle with Jesus on the back.  I think my partner and I laughed for way too long after this demonstration went through.  It just sets to remind everyone that Jesus said nothing about gay people.  His only two commandments were "Love the Lord your God" and "Love thy neighbor as thyself". 

 This was pretty cool.  Unfortunately, I'm unsure what exactly these people were supporting, but the float people were attached in such a way that as the puppeteer moved, so did every part of the puppet.  It was awesome to see them all dance down the street!

I included this picture because I thought it was a unique advertisement.  The drag queen is holding the product, showing off that not only are they gay friendly but that they are here and willing to sell to you.  It stuck me as such a great idea to drum up business!

Of course with pride comes protesters.  What is an exciting event in a gays life without someone there shouting about how they are going to hell?

These assholes hung out at the corner where we were standing.  There was a lady who kept trying to get involved in the parade or stand across the street near us that was constantly being told that she could not be in the crowd.  She was not happy, but she kept going back over there.

This was at the end of the parade.  I'm pretty sure the city had to let them march, and thus they put them at the end.  The last float that went past kinda signaled that the crowd should follow him.  We hung back a bit, because one person in our group has a history of annoying protesters so he jumped at the chance to live up to his image.  He lived up to said image.

All in all pride was awesome!  Good people, good times, and hilarious entertainment.  We went to pride village after the parade but of course my phone died so I got no pictures there. We did get swag, which is always nice. 

The last picture from our pride experience.  Pretty fitting if you ask me!  (and yes, that is a real street sign, it was not created for pride or anything!)

Until Next Time!

Why Pride is important...

Note: I had this set to publish yesterday... not sure why it didn't.  But here is yesterday's post!!!

Want to know why pride is still important?  Why it is still important for people to remember that it's okay to be whomever you are?  Because of people like Scott Esk.  Who is he?  Well, he is a tea party candidate from Oklahoma who put his true feelings out in the public view.

Read this bit of a facebook conversation... then continue with the article.

source

Did you read it?  Did you take the time and read the words that Scott Esk said?  In case you don't feel like clicking on the picture to read the words, let me quote them for you.  When asked if he feels we should excecute homosexuals, Scott Esk wrote “I think we would be totally in the right to do it. That goes against some parts of libertarianism, I realize, and I’m largely libertarian, but ignoring as a nation things that are worthy of death is very remiss,”

Oh yes, you read that right.  The problem is, he's not the only one who thinks this way.  Esk is not the only one who has ever said this, or will ever say this.  The "kill gays" bill of uganda?  Yes, totally helped by people here in America.  This idea that killing an entire subset of our population is a very scary thought!  This is why we need pride.  This is why we fight so hard to make sure that everyone understands we are here, we are queer, get over it!

So next time you hear someone complaining about not having "straight pride" parades or marches.. ask them when the last time someone running for office said it would be totally cool to kill them for just being straight.

Until Next Time.

Want to read the entire conversation of Esk on his FB page about gays?  I found my information here

Under my skin

I try not to let a lot of things get under my skin, but today people have succeeded in getting as far under there as you can go.  And why?  Well during a performance on the Tony Awards last night, Neil Patrick Harris, dressed as Hedwig, kissed his fiance, David Burtka, during a performance of Sugar Daddy from the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  It was performance art at it's finest, mixed with a little real life, and people are freaking the fuck out over it!

This is under my skin because I know so many people who refuse to even touch their partners in public for fear of backlash.  Many people I know have experienced this backlash!  And this has to stop. People should be allowed to hold hand, put their arm around each other, hell even kiss if they so feel like it!  Let's all grow up a little, okay?

This post is short, but it's brought to you by me, being seriously cranky, so it's probably best that it's short! 

Get out there a love a few more people, okay? 

Until Next Time.

Thou Shalt Not Commit Logical Fallacies

What is a logical fallacy you ask?  Well I am so glad there is a great website with an awesome poster to help you figure this out!  Just check out This website and look around.  Need a better visual representation?  They even offer a poster for you. 

Source

So what has brought this to my attention?  The sheer amount of logical fallacies I see equating gay marriage to pedophilia and bestiality.  Let us get a few things straight, shall we?

First, marriage is the union of two consenting adults.  A child, you know those 12 year olds that everyone loves to throw in this argument, is not a consenting adult.  End of discussion!  Asking for rights to marry your partner, as an adult, is nothing like asking a child to marry an adult. 

Second, marriage is the union of two consenting adults.  A dog, or cat or bird or lion, is not a consenting adult.  End of discussion!  Asking for rights to marry your partner, as an adult, is nothing like asking a dog to marry an adult.

Gay marriage is the union between two consenting adults who happen to be the same biological sex, or the same gender (which are different, but we'll get there at a later date and time).  There are no children or dogs involved in the process.

Until Next Time.

Uganda's pride

There is always something that makes me stop and go "wow!". This year, and pretty much every year for the last few years, it has been the pride parades in Uganda. A country that now has a death penalty for homosexuals. A country where the President headed a "kill the gays" parade. Yet, these brave people still march, displaying their pride for who they are and what they believe.

I am shocked and amazed by them every year. So while today's post is short, sweet, and to the point, I highly recommend you take a moment and read about the pride parades in Uganda. How these people know that they are risking their very lives, and yet they get out there and let everyone know they are not ashamed of who they are! Take a moment and google them, you will thank me. You will be a better person to read about them.

Remember that June is the month for you to scream your pride at who you are from the tops of the roofs. Are you scared to let other people know? Take that leap of faith. You will feel so much better.

photo credit: torbakhopper via photopin cc

Starting pride month off right!

So we are going to start pride month celebrations off right.  This video has gone viral and I think with good reason.  I am not one who enjoys seeing children being exploited, but I feel that this family is pioneering a great cause and sharing Ryland's story is going to hopefully help so many people, so many families.

This video shows the unconditional love between a family.  Parents who were faced with a deep and personal decision.  Parents who were watching their child struggle, who sought help for them, and then came to the conclusion that the only thing left to do was let that child be, let that child live, according to his wishes.

Their tagline speaks so much about them.  "We signed up to be parents, no strings attached".  I wish more children could have parents like this, parents who care.

So watch the video and tell me what you think!

Words have meanings...

and things.


As a writer, I am constantly reminded that words have meanings. And just because you can use a word in a sentence doesn't mean that's the best word or that it means what you think it means.

Case in point? The world Bully.



Looking to dictionary.com, the definition of the word "Bully":
noun, plural bul·lies.
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

verb (used with object), bul·lied, bul·ly·ing.
1. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
verb (used without object), bul·lied, bul·ly·ing.
2. to be loudly arrogant and overbearing.

So basically to be a bully is to be an asshole. It is to constantly intimidate someone who is weaker or smaller than you. It is to be the type of person who beats up the geek for his lunch money every day simply because you can. That is a bully.

 You know what is not a bully? Someone who disagrees with you. A bully is not someone who merely doesn't like what you have to say, even if they scream at you that you are wrong, the doesn't make them a bully. It does still make them an asshole, but not a bully.

But why are they not a bully simply because they don't agree with you? Because the key is this fancy word "habitually". If they yell at you daily for the same topic to the point that you can't get a word in? Yes, that's a bully. But to merely disagree with you on certain topics does not a bully make.

So why am I going in to this long, drawn out scope and sequence of what is a bully? Because last night I was called a bully, simply because I disagreed, vehemently, with someone. This was not habitual, because this was the first time I met this dude, but it was pretty passionate, on both ends. When he realized he had lost the group from his side, he immediately screamed that I was a bully and that I shouldn't become a teacher because we try to keep this type of shit out of the schools. He had a few more choice words to say, but I just kinda ignored him. He was rather drunk at this point.

I also see this attitude around the internet. I read certain blogs because they remind me of what I am constantly fighting against in the world, and among several of these blogs there is this idea that because someone comments and disagrees with them, they are being bullied. They are being told to shut their mouth and some how that is a violation of their first amendment rights and they are being bullied. I read it over and over and over, and while I don't comment, I find it quite suspect that so many people took a buzzword and are twisting it to their own agenda. It really makes me wonder if these people own a dictionary.

I just want to take this platform to remind people that words have meanings and shit, and just because you can use a specific word, it may not be advisable. To take a word that has true meaning, and is a real problem for many people today, and throw it around like loose change, doesn't help anyone. Please remember when you go to speak, the words you are saying will impact someone. The choices you make for your vocabulary will have meanings that you should bastardize. Say the words you mean, and mean the words you say. If you need help, use a dictionary. They are your friend.

Until Next Time.

People like this exist?

So I've been holed up in my house writing and dealing with pretty awful migraines lately.  Today I ventured out online to see what the interwebs had been up to while I was away.  And what I found was a bunch of bullshit.  People who feel the need to scream that they have it right and that other people have it wrong.  I spent my time trying to not read the comments on articles posted about gay marriage in PA, parents who have nothing better to do than track the color of their children's poop on a spreadsheet (as well as everything else about their child, quantifying them they said).  I also spent the time reading about a group of people who review Native American children's books, saw pictures of a cake someone made that offended me, and all in all just trying to decide if being back on the internet was worth it this week.

photo credit: Swiv via photopin cc

I found that crawling out of my writing bubble was not really worth it because I lost a little more faith in humanity.  I didn't really enjoy reading about people screaming that gays are "intolerant or they'd tolerate my intolerance" and not realizing the irony of their statements.  I read about people screaming that in order to be a good parent you have to document every movement of your child, when in reality that leaves you very little time to actually pay attention to their child.  I read about people screaming about how you aren't "Native" enough unless you live on a reservation or are willing to deny any other part of your heritage.  I read about people who just really don't understand that everyone is different and that's okay.  But people don't want to admit that it's okay to be different.

photo credit: Today is a good day via photopin cc

So tonight I am finishing up this post and then probably going back to my writing bubble.  I really want to have a first draft written before the end of summer.  I am loving this ability to sit down at my computer upstairs, or the laptop downstairs, and write until I'm done writing.  It's really exciting and empowering to know that I am capable of writing a story, a novel.  I will be a published author at some point in my life!  And that is exciting.


Until Next Time.

One of them there controversial posts

So I'm warning you now, just like I did a few days ago, that this post may ruffle your feathers.  Please remember that if you want to engage in honest debate you are free to comment.  If you want to name call and attack then I will delete your comment as if nothing happened.

So I was perusing facebook the other day and came across a graphic that made me want to scream.  Actually, I am pretty sure I screamed in frustration and honestly, anger, over what I saw. 

That.  That right there made my head spin and my gut boil with anger.  Are you kidding me?  This is your idea of a statement worth putting out there and AGREEING with?  So I think I am going to take this one a part piece by piece.  And I will preface it with this general warning:

I may use terms that make everyone seem the same, but I understand that each person is different.  In this post, when I say "Christians" I mean SOME Christians.  No all Christians are backward assholes who want to play the martyr card.  I do not mean to paint all the religious with the same brush, so please understand that I know there are great people in this world of all types and there are assholes in this world of all types.  If this does not apply to you, then please understand that I'm not talking about you.  I am talking about the types of people who would post this meme and think they are justified in doing so.


Since when do "Bible-believing Christians" even have to come OUT of the closet?  In America, it is pretty much assumed that you are a Christian unless otherwise noted.  It is pretty much assumed that you take the Bible as the literal word of God and nothing less, and that every Sunday (or at least the big Sundays like Easter) you are in church enjoying the singing and preaching.  Our pledge had "under God" added and our money now reads "In God We Trust", neither of which our founding fathers felt the need to put in the public like that.

I ask this honestly, but when has a "Bible-believing Christian" ever been beaten, in America, for their beliefs?  What have their parents, in America, kicked them out and disowned them?  When, in American, have they ever feared walking down the wrong road at night?  When, in America, have they felt the only recourse for themselves is to commit suicide?

See therein lies the problem, this type of thought process for "Bible-believing Christians" doesn't exist.  Cause no matter where they live, they can find a church, find people like them, find a group of people to hang out with.  Christians in America don't seem to want to admit how good they have it, really.  Being the default is not difficult.  They may still have their daily struggles, but you will not find one leaving a note for their mom explaining that while they tried to change, they couldn't, so the only thing left was to take away the pain.  By putting a bullet through their head.

Until next time.

Certain topics

Shouldn't be discussed or whatever.

Have you heard that?  "You can't talk about certain things if you want to keep friends."  This statement is a big one I hear often.  People constantly tell me "Oh, don't talk about that!  It's rude!"  And I just sit there and wonder if people really think that talking about uncomfortable subjects is really all that rude, or is it just you don't agree with my side and thus declare talking about it rude.  So, I guess this is my coming out as rude.  Why?  because there are very few topics I won't discuss and there aren't many situations where I won't discuss those topics.

I was searching for something completely different... but this works.

I am a passionate person.  I find myself being passionate about things now that I didn't even know existed when I was younger.  I am passionate and make no apologies for this.  That doesn't mean I am "not tolerant" of other people's opinions.  It just means that if I disagree with your opinion I will challenge you.  If you choose to not commit to the challenge, that is fine, and we both move on.  If you choose to commit, then I hope you are as passionate about the topic as I am, because conversing with another passionate person is awesome.


I also find myself a bit controversial in that way.  I make no apologies for my opinions and my positions on certain things.  This apparently makes me controversial in some people's view.  That is okay.  I can live with that.

I guess I look at this post as your warning that not everything here will be PC or non controversial.  And that is okay.  I want to hear your opinions, I want to hear your counter arguments, I want to hear from you on anything.  I don't do name calling, I do passionate discussion.  If you disagree with something I say, please point it out.  You only grow as a person when you are challenged on your beliefs.

Until next time.



photo credit: Dunechaser via photopin cc