Compromises and other fun things

So today is the last Finish the Sentence Friday (FTSF) of Pride month!  Today's topic is The one thing I'll never compromise on is...  and this is a good one for pride!

So I started going through the list in my head of things that I really won't compromise on and that happened to also be about pride.  I realized that the most important aspect is the one I won't compromise on.  So my FTSF answer:

The one thing I'll never compromise on is being who I am.

photo credit: Photochiel via photopin cc

I have found, in my life time, that there is no reason to compromise who you are.  It is never worth it and in the end you always lose.  Just you, no one else.

I am not beautiful, I am not handsome, I am not rich, I am not super smart, but I am me.  And I am the only me that will exist in today's world.  Isn't that awesome?

I tried to hide myself when I was younger, merely out of a need to survive.  I needed to stay in the good graces of my religious family in order to make sure I had food to eat and the ability to freely move around.  I learned early on in life that you sometimes have to play by other people's rules, if nothing else than for survival.  During this time of growing up, I was not being who I was truly.  I was compromising myself in order to survive.

Fast forward a few years and suddenly I am compromising on the other side in order to have and keep friends.  I didn't realize at that time that friendship wasn't all give and no take, it was supposed to be a bit of give and a bit of take and a whole lot of really enjoying each other.  Instead I found myself pretending to hate straight people, pretending to be ultra femme, pretending to like this music or that.  Pretending to enjoy staying up all night and then having to go to work the next day.   So I was, once again, compromising who I was.

Then I met my partner and things started changing.  He didn't care about my past, nor my "friends", nor the bad habits I had picked up.  He let me just be when we were together, and I noticed a marked change in my behavior and the way I acted in general.  No more did I find that I was having to change who I was to fit in, to be friends with someone, to be romantic.  And it was nice.

Then I saw how he was with his friends, and suddenly it clicked.  With his friends, he came out to them pretty effortlessly.  Yeah, there was a bit of a worry, but he still did it.  He doesn't have a lot of contact with them anymore (because a lot of them have turned in to assholes) but he didn't worry about losing friendships.  He told his parents about a year and half into our relationship that we were together.  His mom was like "And water's wet, what's your point" and that was that.  It was amazing!  To see someone just be themselves, it was amazing.  It was also the reason I decided I couldn't compromise on who I was any longer.

Today there is a bit of a glitch in my plan to just be who I am.  While in reality I can be whomever I choose to be, my partner has a bit of a problem.  Damn living in a conservative state!  He has to compromise in order to keep his job.  But me?  I don't have to compromise any longer, and it's nice.  I am living the good life and a lot of it is because I don't have to hide who I am or who I love.
(editing to add that my Partner doesn't have to worry about being fired to us being together, as it's pretty obvious we have insurance together and his company knows.  He has to hide it because it's the bosses who make decisions and can get people fired.  His boss is a conservative, independent fundamentalist Baptist who proselytizes to people at work pretty constantly.   We don't like the game, but we play by the rules... at least until we can move!)

What will you not compromise on in your life?

Until Next Time.

FTSF and Father's day in pride month

So I stayed away from the mother's day FTSF post... and I thought about seriously staying away from the father's day post, but I figured since we are doing a pride month here, I can structure it to be pride oriented, and not so much about my parents.

But I am going to take this on a little journey, and throw it out there pride style.

Today's Finish The Sentence Friday post is "Dear Dad..."

Dear Dad,

Take a deep breath, it will be okay.  I know, when you first hear the words "I'm gay" your immediate reaction may be to freak out.  That is not okay.  First, take that deep breath.  That boy in front of you saying those words?  He's still your son.  That girl who now hangs her head after telling you?  She is your daughter in need of some reassurance.  Reach your hand out, embrace your child.  They have just shared with you something that is going to forever change their life.  It's okay to have mixed feelings on the subject.  It's okay to need time.  But remember, that person in front of you talking, that is the child you have raised.  That is your child.  The one who has looked up to you, has needed your help, has been with you since they were young.  And right now, they need you again.  They need to know that you got their back on this one.

Take a deep breath, it will be okay.  The child in front of you is still the same child that he has always been.  She is no different than she was yesterday, it's just now she trusts you to open up to you about her life.  Please don't push him away.  Please don't make her feel like she is less than she was yesterday.  This is still your child.

Take a deep breath, it will still be okay.  The world hasn't stopped spinning just because your kid came out to you.  The sun is still setting tonight, it will still rise tomorrow.  There will be no cataclysmic event just because those words "I'm gay" were uttered.  If you need to take a moment to yourself, that is okay.  Just don't make a big deal about it, she doesn't need to see that her father thinks less of her.  Feel free to talk about it, all of it, but make sure it's with the right person.  Your teen who just came out?  He is not the right person to dump your fears and bigotry on.  There are people in the world who have gone through everything you are going through, seek them out.  But remember, your child just trusted you enough to let you in on their secret, treat that with respect.

Sun through the ice covered trees.  (c) Hawk

Take a deep breath, the world is still turning and everything is still okay.  No one is expecting you to be superman, and you don't have to expect that out of yourself.  Rome wasn't built in a day, and you probably find that your feelings aren't sorted out in one either.  Embrace your feelings, all the while remembering your child shared their soul with you.  Treat that appropriately.

In closing, I just want to say that as long as you remember to breathe, the world will be okay.

This post is a part of the Finish the Sentence Friday blog hop.  Find out more below!

Woah busy and bathing suit ready

I'm late to the game this week on the link up because, woah, busy!  Since Sunday I haven't really been home, much less awake when home, at all.  This is busy time as everyone I know is hosting some type of cook out or get together or just general hang out time. 

But I am stopping in to do a FTSF and reading the prompt I couldn't help but laugh!  The prompt this week?  It's bathing suit season, and to prepare, I...  

I really don't do much.  Why?  I don't swim.  I mean, I can swim, and I can swim very well, but I just really don't have an interest in swimming.  My partner, on the other hand, is a freaking fish!  He grew up in Florida, so it kind of makes sense that he is such an awesome swimmer.  I, on the other hand, grew up in a land locked state, and the reality is that swimming just wasn't a big part of my life.  That, and I haven't worn shorts on purpose in 20 years so the thought of putting them on to get in water?  Yeah, not my cup of koolaid.

Now, I do find myself wanting to work out more in the summer, so I do.  My partner and I are getting ready to jump into a better routine with getting out and walking, as well as making sure we make it to the gym at least a couple days a week.

We are also trying a new diet as well.  While we don't look at diet in the tradition sense, we are trying to make sure we eat better food, and are following a mainly primal diet.  We eat very few grains and try to stick to lots and lots of vegetables and good farmer's market meats.  It's working to help us feel better, if not helping us shaving inches off our waist line.

Now I must run off because I have things to make for a cookout tomorrow and I haven't even had time to make it to the damn grocery store yet!!

And as an aside note, I am absolutely loving the new FTSF graphic!  Rainbow hair and unicorns, yes please.

Until Next Time.

The nicest thing anyone ever did for me...

This week's FTSF prompt is "The nicest thing anyone ever did for me was...".  I was tempted to sit this one out again, because sometimes it's easier to sit them out than to try to figure out the answer to the prompt, lol.  But alas, I have been sitting here most of the morning trying to figure this out.

3 hours of sleeping bliss!

I was going to say "oh the nicest thing was my Partner letting me nap when I wasn't feeling well..."  but that seems like something anyone would do if you were sick.  I think that feels like the nicest thing because I REALLY was feeling like crap the other night and my partner let me sleep for about 3 hours without disturbing me.  He even kept the dogs quiet, which is a feat all on it's own!

As I sit here, still, contemplating what the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, I am still struggling to come up with a solid answer.  I don't deal with a lot of people on a daily basis, and those I deal with are either children or people who aren't the friendliest to strangers.

I guess the absolute nicest thing done for me was when I had knee surgery a few years ago and my co teacher set about having the class make me "Get Well Soon" cards.  If you've never gotten a card from a two year old, I highly recommend it.  I wish I could find them right this moment so I could take a picture for you to see the absolutely adorable scribbles and pictures.  Unfortunately our house is a bit in shambles due to rearranging, purging, and painting that the box with those cards are probably on the bottom of the largest stack!  Anyway, those cards made me really happy, knowing that at least my co teacher missed me in the classroom, if not the children themselves actually missing me.

It's weird to think I had to spend so much time coming up with this answer.  Perhaps I need to start keeping a journal of the nice things that happen in my life.  I know there are plenty of them that happen, I am not an angry shrew or anything.  What are happy things that have happened in your life?

This post is a part of the Finish the Sentence Friday blog hop.  Feel free to join in!

photo credit: King.... via photopin cc

FTSF

Blog hop time!  I kinda like not having to think of a topic all my own on Fridays!  This week's Finish the Sentence Friday (FTSF) is  "I have absolutely no interest in..."

I  have absolutely no interest in skydiving.

From our first date, the Partner has been talking about doing crazy things.  He found out my fear of heights pretty early on in our relationship, so his entire being has been trying to convince me to sky dive.  Well, it ain't happening!  Yet he can't let it go!  Every time we talk about a vacation or a trip or even just a jaunt to the parks he starts asking about skydiving.  I have never told him he can't go, not my business, but I am not getting in a plane just to jump out of it!  How does anyone think that is fun!  Cause let me tell you, it doesn't look fun.

So I plan to keep both my feet firmly planted on a solid surface.  Skydiving is not for me, which is why I have absolutely no interest in the activity!

Until next time.

The best decision I ever made...

So I know already wrote a post today, but dang-it I found a blog hop that doesn't seem require you be female, have children, be a stay at home mom, or be able to sacrifice 16 virgins in a pot of dragon blood!  So I'm joining it!  My first blog hop!  Woohoo!

So here we go! The sentence this week is "The Best Decision I ever Made" so here we go!

The best decision I ever made was to agree to move to my current city and be "roommates" with the partner.  He asked me, in his words, solely so we'd be closer.  But we would totally be roommates.  I'm pretty sure that he had no intentions of actually just being roommates when he just seemed to not care to let me get my room set up. I'm pretty sure moving is what made our relationship stronger and made us a better couple.

Until next time!