So I really wanted to keep this from being a parenting blog. I started 4 or 5 different posts and then realized they were all about my kid, or raising my kid, or being gay while raising a kid... and I fought against those posts. I deleted them and told myself I would come back when my mind was free and clear of having a child! I would come back and write about anything other than being a parent. I fought against making any posts about parenting, thus I didn't write any posts, for fear they would turn into parenting posts.
Then I realized this was crazy and I need to get over it.
I want to write. I want to write this blog and be all over the spectrum of topics like I used to be. I want to make sure I can continue writing about being gay and gay issues, but also my own writing and everything! But I realized in all my deleting and rewriting and just not writing that I had changed. Yes, I am still a writer. Yes, I am still an out and proud gay man. But I am also a parent.
And parenting, especially right now, is connected to everything I do.
So while this blog isn't a parenting blog, I am a parent who writes this blog and there will probably be some bleed in of my daily life with baby. And that's okay. It's my blog.
Anyway, I just wanted to put this out. As to why I've not written in a while and really as a warning. If parenting blogs or bloggers talking about their family/kids bothers you, perhaps it's time you move on.
Until Next Time.
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random thoughts. Show all posts
Friday, September 18, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
When baby takes over
Holy fuck are we tired. We are tired. But not because she screams all night... but because she still has her day and nights mixed up. So she wants to be awake all night and sleep all day.
What that means is I have been too tired to really do anything but her care and keeping my house looking like a normal house. I still need to dust and clean the bathroom, but that can wait until the weekend.
I haven't been living in a complete box... Donald Trump is running for president! LOL! Thank you Republican gods, because that is hilarious. He is the best thing that could have happened to the Democratic party. But it's also insanely sad how well he is polling. I can't help but think people are trolling the pollers, because every time he opens his mouth he spews hatred. The man said a prisoner of war wasn't a war hero because he got caught. I mean, seriously? I hate war and even I am like "wait, what?"
I hope you all are having a kick ass summer. We are.
Until Next Time!
What that means is I have been too tired to really do anything but her care and keeping my house looking like a normal house. I still need to dust and clean the bathroom, but that can wait until the weekend.
I haven't been living in a complete box... Donald Trump is running for president! LOL! Thank you Republican gods, because that is hilarious. He is the best thing that could have happened to the Democratic party. But it's also insanely sad how well he is polling. I can't help but think people are trolling the pollers, because every time he opens his mouth he spews hatred. The man said a prisoner of war wasn't a war hero because he got caught. I mean, seriously? I hate war and even I am like "wait, what?"
I hope you all are having a kick ass summer. We are.
Until Next Time!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Adulting
From lack of motivation to adulting and getting this shit done. I am doing it. I really have little choice, because it has to be done, but dammit I am doing it!
We finally bought a new lawn mower. Talk about a needed upgrade. My partner has been out mowing the law for only 30 minutes and he already has the back completely finished! That is an accomplishment of our new mower! And it has a bag, so there isn't grass clipping everywhere. And no, we don't throw out the clipping, we use them to fertilize under the trees to help stop soil erosion. Needless to say, I am pretty sure he will be finished with the law much much quicker than his normal 2 or so hours. Which means he may have the energy and time to weed wack! That is always an exciting time around here.
I got out into the garden today and finally planted the petunias and tulip bulbs. We have a front garden we have had to dig up multiple times because of an invasive grass species. I think after almost 8 years we have it under control, so we are doing one more controlled plant of annuals. If all goes well this year, I hope that the tulips will come back and then we will need some summer loving perennials to put in the garden. I don't like planting every year. I would much rather plan out my color palette and weed and mulch at the the start of the season and then let my garden work for me. We have the other two gardens already set up this way, now with this last one hopefully I will be done except for pruning and weeding every year. Oh that would be an accomplishment.
This weekend we plan to spend our time early on finishing the yard and then from there we hope to grill out and just relax. Nothing massive is pressing on our time, we might even go see a movie! At the theatre! I wish we had better live theatre here... but alas, we do not. But at the movie house we go to they have good old fashioned cherry coke on tap... which means cherry coke and popcorn! Not healthy, but delicious!
What plans do you have this weekend? Anything exciting?
Until Next Time!
We finally bought a new lawn mower. Talk about a needed upgrade. My partner has been out mowing the law for only 30 minutes and he already has the back completely finished! That is an accomplishment of our new mower! And it has a bag, so there isn't grass clipping everywhere. And no, we don't throw out the clipping, we use them to fertilize under the trees to help stop soil erosion. Needless to say, I am pretty sure he will be finished with the law much much quicker than his normal 2 or so hours. Which means he may have the energy and time to weed wack! That is always an exciting time around here.
I got out into the garden today and finally planted the petunias and tulip bulbs. We have a front garden we have had to dig up multiple times because of an invasive grass species. I think after almost 8 years we have it under control, so we are doing one more controlled plant of annuals. If all goes well this year, I hope that the tulips will come back and then we will need some summer loving perennials to put in the garden. I don't like planting every year. I would much rather plan out my color palette and weed and mulch at the the start of the season and then let my garden work for me. We have the other two gardens already set up this way, now with this last one hopefully I will be done except for pruning and weeding every year. Oh that would be an accomplishment.
This weekend we plan to spend our time early on finishing the yard and then from there we hope to grill out and just relax. Nothing massive is pressing on our time, we might even go see a movie! At the theatre! I wish we had better live theatre here... but alas, we do not. But at the movie house we go to they have good old fashioned cherry coke on tap... which means cherry coke and popcorn! Not healthy, but delicious!
What plans do you have this weekend? Anything exciting?
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Lack of motivation
I have no motivation to do anything. I don't know if I'm getting sick or if I'm just being lazy, but I really just want to sit here and do nothing.
It is starting to affect me in ways I hadn't planned on. I have an entire house to clean, a yard to landscape, and meals to prep before baby comes home. But I think some of it is we've been here before, and I did all that, and we walked away empty handed. I think maybe that is getting in my head and keeping me from doing things I need to.
And I really need it to go away.
It's times like these that I wonder if I'm not giving too much space in my head to things I cannot control. I cannot control our past, but I can control our future. I need to keep that in mind. Yes, this situation may fall through as well, but at least I will have a spotless house and meals for the next month. That is a good thing, right?
I dunno, I don't know the answer. I guess I just have to keep telling myself to get up and go and move and get shit done. That is the best way to combat the lazies. I also plan to sit down and do some writing this weekend (as it's the first weekend we have at home in a long time!) so hopefully that will help get some feelings out of the gate. I also have my partner home for a long weekend. Half day on Friday, off on Monday, he's going to be so spoiled!
I hope you are having a better, more productive week and I am having!
Until Next Time!
It is starting to affect me in ways I hadn't planned on. I have an entire house to clean, a yard to landscape, and meals to prep before baby comes home. But I think some of it is we've been here before, and I did all that, and we walked away empty handed. I think maybe that is getting in my head and keeping me from doing things I need to.
And I really need it to go away.
It's times like these that I wonder if I'm not giving too much space in my head to things I cannot control. I cannot control our past, but I can control our future. I need to keep that in mind. Yes, this situation may fall through as well, but at least I will have a spotless house and meals for the next month. That is a good thing, right?
I dunno, I don't know the answer. I guess I just have to keep telling myself to get up and go and move and get shit done. That is the best way to combat the lazies. I also plan to sit down and do some writing this weekend (as it's the first weekend we have at home in a long time!) so hopefully that will help get some feelings out of the gate. I also have my partner home for a long weekend. Half day on Friday, off on Monday, he's going to be so spoiled!
I hope you are having a better, more productive week and I am having!
Until Next Time!
Monday, April 6, 2015
invisible
Every so often I get a small glimpse of being invisible. I see all my friends planning a get together, or everyone rallying behind someone who is doing something that I have been doing that no one seemed to care about, or someone starts encouraging someone in a way that I wish they would have encouraged me. It's in those moments I realize I have achieved what I thought was my life long goal of having everyone forget about me.
And then I realize that now that I have achieved this invisibility, I'm not so sure I want it anymore. Or maybe it's because I'm having an overly emotional week. Or maybe that I have what I want it's time to find a new goal. I don't know, but tonight I am feeling raw and fragile and completely alone.
I firmly understand that some of these feeling are rooted in jealousy. I am insanely jealous that I am not a forethought in any one's mind. I am merely their after thought... "Oh, do you think we should invite Hawk? I mean, we need another person to drive"... yeah that's who I am to most everyone I know. A stable friend who "doesn't mind" not being invited or that friend who "understands" that the friends are excited for me, but they don't have time to really let me know... or any number of other things that basically come down to "well we know Hawk will still be there, it's cool if we completely ignore everything he does. He won't mind". And for the most part, I don't. I honestly don't. But on this week, at this moment, I am jealous.
But I am also paranoid. When you are ignored constantly you begin to wonder if these people are really your friends or if they are humoring you. How is that for conflicting emotions... "I don't care, but maybe they don't really like me!" Hah. Welcome to my life.
I am having a rough week as we work through changes and prepare for a different kind of month. Things will settle down and I'll go back to being okay knowing that other people are more than I will ever be, and that's okay. I will go back to being okay with being invisible. But tonight, I just had to get it out there... sometimes it sucks knowing you are looked over constantly.
Yet what sucks more is knowing that I did this to myself.
Until Next Time.
And then I realize that now that I have achieved this invisibility, I'm not so sure I want it anymore. Or maybe it's because I'm having an overly emotional week. Or maybe that I have what I want it's time to find a new goal. I don't know, but tonight I am feeling raw and fragile and completely alone.
I firmly understand that some of these feeling are rooted in jealousy. I am insanely jealous that I am not a forethought in any one's mind. I am merely their after thought... "Oh, do you think we should invite Hawk? I mean, we need another person to drive"... yeah that's who I am to most everyone I know. A stable friend who "doesn't mind" not being invited or that friend who "understands" that the friends are excited for me, but they don't have time to really let me know... or any number of other things that basically come down to "well we know Hawk will still be there, it's cool if we completely ignore everything he does. He won't mind". And for the most part, I don't. I honestly don't. But on this week, at this moment, I am jealous.
But I am also paranoid. When you are ignored constantly you begin to wonder if these people are really your friends or if they are humoring you. How is that for conflicting emotions... "I don't care, but maybe they don't really like me!" Hah. Welcome to my life.
I am having a rough week as we work through changes and prepare for a different kind of month. Things will settle down and I'll go back to being okay knowing that other people are more than I will ever be, and that's okay. I will go back to being okay with being invisible. But tonight, I just had to get it out there... sometimes it sucks knowing you are looked over constantly.
Yet what sucks more is knowing that I did this to myself.
Until Next Time.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
First thunderstorm
So to keep up with my boring life, and by default my boring phobias, we are having our first thunderstorm of the season. Words are being thrown around by our weathermen like "Squall line" and "nickel sized hail". Weather alerts are also being tossed out by the NWS. Not the best way to live on a Thursday. I am terrified of Thunderstorms, always have been. So today is not great.
It didn't start out great either, now that I think about it. Math was fine this morning, and I had a small snack for breakfast after class. Then it started raining and I went on and headed across campus to my second class and that is where the crap started. It was thundering, of course, and some asshole ran through a puddle at 100 miles an hour, splashing all us students on the sidewalk. I was drenched in mud and rain and cold and it was STILL raining and thundering. Yeah, I skipping second class and came home. I am not sitting in class covered in yuck.
Now I'm sitting in my living room, pantsless of course, waiting for my partner to get home. Tonight we are going to get me a better rain jacket. My poncho is nice and all, but it's ripped to hell and just not great. Hopefully he'll treat me to a night out as well, but I'm not holding my breath. We went out last night and it was a complete failure. Awful food, not amazing service, so so pie... we need a redo!
That's all I got today. Pantless, in a storm.
Until Next Time!
It didn't start out great either, now that I think about it. Math was fine this morning, and I had a small snack for breakfast after class. Then it started raining and I went on and headed across campus to my second class and that is where the crap started. It was thundering, of course, and some asshole ran through a puddle at 100 miles an hour, splashing all us students on the sidewalk. I was drenched in mud and rain and cold and it was STILL raining and thundering. Yeah, I skipping second class and came home. I am not sitting in class covered in yuck.
Now I'm sitting in my living room, pantsless of course, waiting for my partner to get home. Tonight we are going to get me a better rain jacket. My poncho is nice and all, but it's ripped to hell and just not great. Hopefully he'll treat me to a night out as well, but I'm not holding my breath. We went out last night and it was a complete failure. Awful food, not amazing service, so so pie... we need a redo!
That's all I got today. Pantless, in a storm.
Until Next Time!
Friday, March 20, 2015
Not how my week was planned to go
I want a do over! Spring break has sucked! My car was totaled, we found one we really like but haven't been able to get back to get it yet. My break has been dealing with this damn car and I'm over it! I haven't been able to sleep in at all, which was high on my list. Nor have I been able to go to lunch with a friend nor catch up on homework, which sadly was on my list.
I haven't been thrilled with the car totallying process, but my insurance has been amazing. Within 24 hours of the accident, my insurance totaled the car and gave us a check. That is pretty damn amazing, in my opinion. The accident was not my fault, so I'm not under any liability. Just waiting for the police report so I can get my deductible back.
Today we are going to the bank to get the final approval for the loan for the new car. I have fallen in love with said car and can't wait to take it on the roadway as mine... if we get it. We have looked at a ton of cars and I am just sad at how none will ever live up with my workhorse car. But this one we are hoping to buy SHOULD last us through all 4 kids (that we want) and then some. It's a newer car and has a ton of room! That is exciting.
Also, on the random scale today, I really need to spend some time cleaning my house. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I took a meditation moment to look around. Ew. I would be so embarrassed to have anyone drop by right now, and that's so unlike me. I don't think it will happen this weekend, but soon I will be undertaking my house. Spring fever has hit and I must clean, must must must!
My life is rather boring this week because it's been all about cars. And getting caught up on The View. Today The genie from Broadway's Aladdin is on there! I am excited for James Monroe Iglehart's take on hot topics!!!
Until Next Time!
I haven't been thrilled with the car totallying process, but my insurance has been amazing. Within 24 hours of the accident, my insurance totaled the car and gave us a check. That is pretty damn amazing, in my opinion. The accident was not my fault, so I'm not under any liability. Just waiting for the police report so I can get my deductible back.
Today we are going to the bank to get the final approval for the loan for the new car. I have fallen in love with said car and can't wait to take it on the roadway as mine... if we get it. We have looked at a ton of cars and I am just sad at how none will ever live up with my workhorse car. But this one we are hoping to buy SHOULD last us through all 4 kids (that we want) and then some. It's a newer car and has a ton of room! That is exciting.
Also, on the random scale today, I really need to spend some time cleaning my house. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I took a meditation moment to look around. Ew. I would be so embarrassed to have anyone drop by right now, and that's so unlike me. I don't think it will happen this weekend, but soon I will be undertaking my house. Spring fever has hit and I must clean, must must must!
My life is rather boring this week because it's been all about cars. And getting caught up on The View. Today The genie from Broadway's Aladdin is on there! I am excited for James Monroe Iglehart's take on hot topics!!!
Until Next Time!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Spring break and car wrecks
So spring break is already two days in to a week that's flying by and I'm ready for it to slow down a bit, and be over at the same time! I was hoping to spend a week relaxing at home, perhaps doing a little cleaning, but no stress. Well that went out the window.
Car wrecks have ruined my week and it's pissed me off. My poor car was hit yesterday. I am fine, everyone I know is fine, but my car is not fine. Pretty sure they will total it out, because honestly my car is nothing exciting nor worth much money in good condition. I think the KBB on the car is $1,900 and everyone I've shown the pictures to have valued the damage at $2k or more.
So today I've been shopping online for a new car! Well, browsing, as I have no clue what I will qualify for nor how much we can really afford. I am enjoying the looking though! Who knew cars have so many bells and whistles now a days. I just want something to play my CDs and that is safe for any children we may have some day.
On top of the car issues, my professors have all taken this week to send out a bazillion emails about homework that is due Sunday evening. Who the hell schedules homework over spring break? I mean, you want to get the most out of your students, but if the week is supposed to be without school, why am I spending my time working on school?
Anyway, I hope you all are having a better week than I am, so far. I now have to do adult things like go to the grocery store, finish knitting a scarf and hat set, trim the roses, and then pick my partner up from work. Thankfully he is cool with me having his car.
Until Next Time!
Car wrecks have ruined my week and it's pissed me off. My poor car was hit yesterday. I am fine, everyone I know is fine, but my car is not fine. Pretty sure they will total it out, because honestly my car is nothing exciting nor worth much money in good condition. I think the KBB on the car is $1,900 and everyone I've shown the pictures to have valued the damage at $2k or more.
So today I've been shopping online for a new car! Well, browsing, as I have no clue what I will qualify for nor how much we can really afford. I am enjoying the looking though! Who knew cars have so many bells and whistles now a days. I just want something to play my CDs and that is safe for any children we may have some day.
On top of the car issues, my professors have all taken this week to send out a bazillion emails about homework that is due Sunday evening. Who the hell schedules homework over spring break? I mean, you want to get the most out of your students, but if the week is supposed to be without school, why am I spending my time working on school?
Anyway, I hope you all are having a better week than I am, so far. I now have to do adult things like go to the grocery store, finish knitting a scarf and hat set, trim the roses, and then pick my partner up from work. Thankfully he is cool with me having his car.
Until Next Time!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
My favorite kind of morning
Today was my favorite kind of morning. Let's face it, I am not a morning person, but sometimes you just have to get up before the sun. Today is one of those days where I was up before the sun herself shook off the morning dew. But I am glad I was.
When I left the house this morning, the fog was thick and the sky was dark. I am not a big fan of dense fog, but the beauty that presents when the sun finally does make her appearance is stunning. I wish I was in a position to take some pictures as the sun crested the sky, but I was sitting in class looking longingly out the window.
As the sun first hit the dense fog, an explosion of reds and oranges swept across the sky. It's when that happens that you know it's going to be good! I watched out of the classroom window as slowly the fog began to burn away, leaving a beautiful sunrise in it's wake. The orange palette that sat in the sky for my entire hour in class was such a treat for the eyes. I also noticed I wasn't the only one staring out the window.
But this morning is one of my favorites for so many other reasons. Not only did we get a spectacular sunrise, but the weather is cooperating perfectly. Stepping outside after class was like stepping into a cool swimming pool. The air was still thick with water from the fog and it was cool. Not cold, mind you, but pleasantly jacket weather. Stepping outside and taking in a deep breath calmed my soul.
The nice jacket weather prompted me to walk slightly slower than I normally would, and we all know I'm a slow walker. I was tortoise crawling across the common area to my hide away to study. Each step was synced with a deep breath, filling my lungs with wonder cool air. I am sure the air quality is the same, but to me cool air always feels cleaner. It felt like I was breathing for the first time in a long time. Both metaphorically and literally.
As I crawled to my hide away, the sun finished it's morning stretch above the horizon, the last of the thick fog burned away, and suddenly it was like any other day. But for those 15 or so minutes of standing outside, I feel so much better about life in general than I have in a long time.
Life has been rough lately. Depression is running wild in my brain and I sometimes forget that there is something more beautiful just waiting for me. Today was a gentle reminder from the universe that while it's okay to just be, sometimes being and waiting is worth it for what you want. I was breathing today, and it's good to know that I will be breathing tomorrow. Because with the promise of one day of beauty, there is bound to be another.
Until Next Time.
When I left the house this morning, the fog was thick and the sky was dark. I am not a big fan of dense fog, but the beauty that presents when the sun finally does make her appearance is stunning. I wish I was in a position to take some pictures as the sun crested the sky, but I was sitting in class looking longingly out the window.
As the sun first hit the dense fog, an explosion of reds and oranges swept across the sky. It's when that happens that you know it's going to be good! I watched out of the classroom window as slowly the fog began to burn away, leaving a beautiful sunrise in it's wake. The orange palette that sat in the sky for my entire hour in class was such a treat for the eyes. I also noticed I wasn't the only one staring out the window.
But this morning is one of my favorites for so many other reasons. Not only did we get a spectacular sunrise, but the weather is cooperating perfectly. Stepping outside after class was like stepping into a cool swimming pool. The air was still thick with water from the fog and it was cool. Not cold, mind you, but pleasantly jacket weather. Stepping outside and taking in a deep breath calmed my soul.
The nice jacket weather prompted me to walk slightly slower than I normally would, and we all know I'm a slow walker. I was tortoise crawling across the common area to my hide away to study. Each step was synced with a deep breath, filling my lungs with wonder cool air. I am sure the air quality is the same, but to me cool air always feels cleaner. It felt like I was breathing for the first time in a long time. Both metaphorically and literally.
As I crawled to my hide away, the sun finished it's morning stretch above the horizon, the last of the thick fog burned away, and suddenly it was like any other day. But for those 15 or so minutes of standing outside, I feel so much better about life in general than I have in a long time.
Life has been rough lately. Depression is running wild in my brain and I sometimes forget that there is something more beautiful just waiting for me. Today was a gentle reminder from the universe that while it's okay to just be, sometimes being and waiting is worth it for what you want. I was breathing today, and it's good to know that I will be breathing tomorrow. Because with the promise of one day of beauty, there is bound to be another.
Until Next Time.
Friday, March 6, 2015
And the snow goes on...
We got more snow! Ugh and yay! Talk about confusion of emotions. I am both excited and annoyed as fuck about this. I love snow, but there comes a point... and it's at the point. It's march people! enough snow!
This is my neighbor's magnolia tree. I love this tree when it blooms and I take way too many pictures of it. Thankfully I have an awesome neighbor on that side who just shakes her head and lets me do my thing! I do like the way the snow looks on the tree as well.
The railing of my deck. Look at that mound. Crazy heavy amount of snow!
And the woods behind my house. So beautiful. I love our woods and the fact that there will never be a house back there! I think, though, that I am ready to take pretty leafy picture again!
We ended up with 17 inches locally over two days and that is a lot lot lot of inches for our town. It's just not something that happens often. We broke quite a few records locally over it all and our weathermen were going crazy about it all. Weather nerds... lol!
With this much snow, however, comes the stir crazy of "Holy crap I can't go anywhere and I only have so much homework to complete!!!" I am so stir crazy that I don't know what to do with myself. I've caught up on almost all of my sleep, and I've cooked more than I have in a long time, but I'm ready to get out of this damn house! Winter better be over.
How was your winter? Snow? Ice? In between?
Until Next Time!
This is my neighbor's magnolia tree. I love this tree when it blooms and I take way too many pictures of it. Thankfully I have an awesome neighbor on that side who just shakes her head and lets me do my thing! I do like the way the snow looks on the tree as well.
We ended up with 17 inches locally over two days and that is a lot lot lot of inches for our town. It's just not something that happens often. We broke quite a few records locally over it all and our weathermen were going crazy about it all. Weather nerds... lol!
With this much snow, however, comes the stir crazy of "Holy crap I can't go anywhere and I only have so much homework to complete!!!" I am so stir crazy that I don't know what to do with myself. I've caught up on almost all of my sleep, and I've cooked more than I have in a long time, but I'm ready to get out of this damn house! Winter better be over.
How was your winter? Snow? Ice? In between?
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Upcoming changes and stuff
So first things first, I am going to be changing the template of the blog. I plan to add adsense as a way to make a few pennies during the month, as I have 9 whole readers on average. I don't expect to make money, I just want that option. The problem is I have no clue how to add an adsense add to this template... I don't really know how to do it with the blogger templates either, but I think it will be easier because that's how things always work. So expect a few aesthetic changes in the future.
Second, my birthday is this week! I am excited. The big 3-0. Okay, maybe it's only big for me, but 30 is another decade older. I have been alive for 3 decades. That just sounds old! I have really wrestled with the idea of being 30... thirty years old! I don't know why, perhaps because when you are 15 the oldest you can think of is 30. Who knows. But it's been hard to wrap my brain around!
On top of that I am also struggling with how little I have accomplished in 30 years. I think that one is taking more of a toll on me than anything. In 30 years, I have accomplished nothing I wanted to do in life. I am still in school, trying to get a bachelors for fuck's sakes. I do not have children. I am ringed with someone (which I never thought I would do). I have not traveled outside of the US..... I mean, the big things I have just not done. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. It's hard to realize that you won't achieve your "before 30" list.
Either way, I've been struggling with that and school this week, which means I've not had time to do much of anything else. But now I can focus on the good a bit.
The good you say?
Well, I am working my ass off this week in order to go out this weekend. Hell yes, I am going out all weekend. Friday my partner is taking me somewhere for a quiet dinner. We typically do the melting pot, but that will be saved for another weekend this year. I haven't decided where we will go, but honestly I'd be happy with Chipotle or somewhere low key like that! Then the real fun starts!
Saturday we are heading up to visit friends in another city. Not just a few friends, but there are going to be around 20 of us (including spouses) all hanging out, enjoying a meal, drinking, and just being goofy people like we are. Why? Well, why not? I mean, yeah, this really isn't happening because it's my bday, but I can always pretend. :-p
So this week is full of school so this weekend can be full of fun! Seems like a fair trade off.
Until Next Time!
Second, my birthday is this week! I am excited. The big 3-0. Okay, maybe it's only big for me, but 30 is another decade older. I have been alive for 3 decades. That just sounds old! I have really wrestled with the idea of being 30... thirty years old! I don't know why, perhaps because when you are 15 the oldest you can think of is 30. Who knows. But it's been hard to wrap my brain around!
On top of that I am also struggling with how little I have accomplished in 30 years. I think that one is taking more of a toll on me than anything. In 30 years, I have accomplished nothing I wanted to do in life. I am still in school, trying to get a bachelors for fuck's sakes. I do not have children. I am ringed with someone (which I never thought I would do). I have not traveled outside of the US..... I mean, the big things I have just not done. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. It's hard to realize that you won't achieve your "before 30" list.
Either way, I've been struggling with that and school this week, which means I've not had time to do much of anything else. But now I can focus on the good a bit.
The good you say?
Well, I am working my ass off this week in order to go out this weekend. Hell yes, I am going out all weekend. Friday my partner is taking me somewhere for a quiet dinner. We typically do the melting pot, but that will be saved for another weekend this year. I haven't decided where we will go, but honestly I'd be happy with Chipotle or somewhere low key like that! Then the real fun starts!
Saturday we are heading up to visit friends in another city. Not just a few friends, but there are going to be around 20 of us (including spouses) all hanging out, enjoying a meal, drinking, and just being goofy people like we are. Why? Well, why not? I mean, yeah, this really isn't happening because it's my bday, but I can always pretend. :-p
So this week is full of school so this weekend can be full of fun! Seems like a fair trade off.
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Look up
Look up young child, the world will improve.
Things will ease, your life won't always be hard.
Look up child, you will soon find your groove.
Things will change for you, because you matter.
It seems like no matter what, life is always going to be hard. Two steps forward, one step backwards. It seems like life as we know it is being thwarted at every turn. And that makes it hard to keep our heads up. Makes it hard to keep getting up every morning.
I don't know the point of this other than to say that it does get better. At the end of the every snow storm is the sun. No, snow doesn't get rainbows typically, but that doesn't make them any less beautiful. Today I choose to look for the sun at the end of the storm.
Until Next Time.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Twitter, blogging, school and other assorted things
First, I have officially joined Twitter. @Parading_Hawks. Feel free to follow me. I am very new to this, so I have no clue what is happening quite yet. But I was able to follow Neil Patrick Harris, so I'm pretty happy.
Blogging was off the table last week. It was test week at school, the first bit test of my education, lol. I got a B in Biology and I'm still waiting for my grade in Math.... not too shabby. My Spanish test will be this week at some point, which is going to be interesting. Needless to say, last week was a tough week for me to have any time to do anything but study for tests.
Since school was the theme of last week, that is all that is in my mind right now. School was called off today because of the snowpocalypse that we were expecting. We are probably 6 inches in so far (maybe more, I haven't taken a ruler out there) and I'm happy. So very happy. I am hoping to maybe get one more snow day, but that is mostly because I do not want to have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab tomorrow evening.
Though, this brings me to my next point, I got a new pair of gloves and a scarf. Whoop whoop. This is mostly so when I have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab class tomorrow I will have something to cover my hands and my face. My new gloves also have the special something or another that allows me to still be able to use my smart phone touch screen, which is an added bonus.
We spent our snow day doing nothing of much for nothing. We are currently finishing up Rosewater, which is a good movie. The story is powerful and thought provoking. The book is also awesome, and the movie very much plays out just like the book. It stays very true and I feel John Stewart did an amazing job putting this movie together. We absolutely give it glowing reviews. And wish we knew what more we could do.
Really that is all I have to say for now. I really need to go write a lab report for biology.
Until Next Time!
Blogging was off the table last week. It was test week at school, the first bit test of my education, lol. I got a B in Biology and I'm still waiting for my grade in Math.... not too shabby. My Spanish test will be this week at some point, which is going to be interesting. Needless to say, last week was a tough week for me to have any time to do anything but study for tests.
Since school was the theme of last week, that is all that is in my mind right now. School was called off today because of the snowpocalypse that we were expecting. We are probably 6 inches in so far (maybe more, I haven't taken a ruler out there) and I'm happy. So very happy. I am hoping to maybe get one more snow day, but that is mostly because I do not want to have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab tomorrow evening.
Though, this brings me to my next point, I got a new pair of gloves and a scarf. Whoop whoop. This is mostly so when I have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab class tomorrow I will have something to cover my hands and my face. My new gloves also have the special something or another that allows me to still be able to use my smart phone touch screen, which is an added bonus.
We spent our snow day doing nothing of much for nothing. We are currently finishing up Rosewater, which is a good movie. The story is powerful and thought provoking. The book is also awesome, and the movie very much plays out just like the book. It stays very true and I feel John Stewart did an amazing job putting this movie together. We absolutely give it glowing reviews. And wish we knew what more we could do.
Really that is all I have to say for now. I really need to go write a lab report for biology.
Until Next Time!
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Take time to smell the roses
Ever since I could remember, I have been a slow walker. I used to frustrate the crap out of people I would go walking with (and I probably still do!). I have never been one to rush around, walk as fast as I could, or anything like that. I enjoy walking slowly because it gives me an appreciate for the world around me, something you don't get when you speed through life.
This type of walking has always served me well. I don't get there quickly, but I adjust for that time wise. Yes, I usually arrive places really early, but who the hell complains because you have time to look around before your appointment? I make sure to arrive plenty early places so I can walk around, enjoy my sight seeing and just generally enjoy life.
Waling slowly gives me a chance to really embrace the philosophy of "stop and smell the roses". It's amazing how many small things you notice when you aren't rushing around. I highly recommend it to everyone. Taking that extra moment gives you that many more chances to really appreciate how beautiful everything truly is in this world.
I challenge you all to take a moment and walk a little slower. See what you can see.
Until Next Time.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
A frustrating day
I am so frustrated right now and it is all because of bullshit. Basically, I am just having a frustrating day. And it's really frustrating. Did I mention it was frustrating?
Because I'm frustrated.
On a different note, school is going well. I had to drop chemistry, it just wasn't worth it. From there the 4 classes I have left are awesome. I am learning some and generally enjoying my time at school. I won't say I'm making friends... I'm not sure I know how to make friends in the classic sense. But, but I did sit on the bus and talk for a bit with a guy in my class. I learned about his past, what brought him to my quaint city, what his plans are for the future. I don't know that we are friends, but we are friendly. He is also typically my partner in class for partner assignments. So there is that.
Life at home is moving slowly but surely. Our goal this weekend is the dig out a little in the nursery and to get our bedroom and bathroom cleaned. One down side of me being back in school is the house doesn't look as pretty as it used to, but I think we are both okay with that. It just requires us to both work on the weekends to make the house presentable to outsiders, lol.
I guess that is all the update I have right now. Life is trucking forward and shit moves on. Hopefully tomorrow I will be less frustrated.
Until Next Time!
Because I'm frustrated.
On a different note, school is going well. I had to drop chemistry, it just wasn't worth it. From there the 4 classes I have left are awesome. I am learning some and generally enjoying my time at school. I won't say I'm making friends... I'm not sure I know how to make friends in the classic sense. But, but I did sit on the bus and talk for a bit with a guy in my class. I learned about his past, what brought him to my quaint city, what his plans are for the future. I don't know that we are friends, but we are friendly. He is also typically my partner in class for partner assignments. So there is that.
Life at home is moving slowly but surely. Our goal this weekend is the dig out a little in the nursery and to get our bedroom and bathroom cleaned. One down side of me being back in school is the house doesn't look as pretty as it used to, but I think we are both okay with that. It just requires us to both work on the weekends to make the house presentable to outsiders, lol.
I guess that is all the update I have right now. Life is trucking forward and shit moves on. Hopefully tomorrow I will be less frustrated.
Until Next Time!
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Sunday night..
.. and I'm tired.
Okay, okay, "Feeling right" would rhyme, but I'm just too tired.
School is eating me alive. I need to find my rhythm, my balance. I need to get in the swing of things. But right now I am finding myself pulling my hair out trying to make it all work. Trying to remember deadlines and what happens when, and who goes where. It is making me a little anxious. I am going to try to get a post up detailing how I outline my week and do my work, but I am still trying to find that sweet spot.
School - life balance is also non existent at the moment. I find myself doing school, then working on the child advocacy program I volunteer for, and then whatever time I don't have left over is offered to my partner. And that is unfair to him. We laid in bed an extra 10 or so minutes this morning before I realized that no, we really needed to get up go about the day. It was just depressing to me that those 10 minutes were the best I could offer him today. Today we had to get groceries, we had to do laundry (which was a comical sort this morning when we forgot to load the washer before running it... ), I had to meet with my kiddos I advocate for, I had homework to get done, and eventually we have eat. All this had to happen in a 15 or so hour day. And it's taking its toll on me.
All that said, right now in our life is the perfect time for me to go back to school, and we both know this. It is perfect timing for me to get a degree that in the future will actually help our family. It's perfect for me to be away from the house and relationship quite a bit right now, because in 2 years this will be all worth it. In two years this will be a distant memory as we are finally making enough to support the size of family we both want. In two years this will all be worth it when I have a flexible job doing something I love.
But right now, in the here and now, life is rough.
And sadly this is all the blogging time I have for today. For now I have to go help figure out what is for supper, register for a couple of my labs that start this week, complete Spanish homework I haven't done yet, and help with folding and moving over laundry.
Until Next Time.
Okay, okay, "Feeling right" would rhyme, but I'm just too tired.
School is eating me alive. I need to find my rhythm, my balance. I need to get in the swing of things. But right now I am finding myself pulling my hair out trying to make it all work. Trying to remember deadlines and what happens when, and who goes where. It is making me a little anxious. I am going to try to get a post up detailing how I outline my week and do my work, but I am still trying to find that sweet spot.
School - life balance is also non existent at the moment. I find myself doing school, then working on the child advocacy program I volunteer for, and then whatever time I don't have left over is offered to my partner. And that is unfair to him. We laid in bed an extra 10 or so minutes this morning before I realized that no, we really needed to get up go about the day. It was just depressing to me that those 10 minutes were the best I could offer him today. Today we had to get groceries, we had to do laundry (which was a comical sort this morning when we forgot to load the washer before running it... ), I had to meet with my kiddos I advocate for, I had homework to get done, and eventually we have eat. All this had to happen in a 15 or so hour day. And it's taking its toll on me.
All that said, right now in our life is the perfect time for me to go back to school, and we both know this. It is perfect timing for me to get a degree that in the future will actually help our family. It's perfect for me to be away from the house and relationship quite a bit right now, because in 2 years this will be all worth it. In two years this will be a distant memory as we are finally making enough to support the size of family we both want. In two years this will all be worth it when I have a flexible job doing something I love.
But right now, in the here and now, life is rough.
And sadly this is all the blogging time I have for today. For now I have to go help figure out what is for supper, register for a couple of my labs that start this week, complete Spanish homework I haven't done yet, and help with folding and moving over laundry.
Until Next Time.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Oh what a week!
Hi.
So this week has flown by! I didn't realize it was Friday until half way through the day. Insane, I tell you, insane. This week has been both frustrating and exciting.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were merely days. They were exciting but just filled with school. This was the first full week of school and it was filled. I haven't been this tired in a long long time. I worked hard on Thursday to not fall asleep in class, and that is unusual for me. Especially considering the class I struggled the most in was Biology. But I survived and made it through my first full week of school. Next week we add Lab classes into the mix.
But this week also gave us an adoption situation we are actively pursuing. We have officially matched with an expectant mother. I am nervous to post this, but that is because we have a long, sordid history with adoption that has ended with us having two failed adoptions. It makes me sad to even think about, let alone think that this adoption could end in the same way. The differences are many, including a lack of taboo on the idea of adoption within the community of the expectant mother and the fact that this is not her first adoption.
But it is also our only chance for quite some time. This is a private adoption and it will take pretty much all of our saved money. That means it doesn't matter if this one fails, we get very little money back and that is it. And we are nervous. However, we are also very optimistic and hopeful. We can't help but be hopeful.
With the adoption on the horizon, we also have the task of learning as much as we can about the culture of the expectant mother. Learning the customs as best as we can, learning at least a little of the language, learning major holidays... those are all so important in raising a child cross culturally. I find being connected to my culture has been so important in forming my own identity and I want that for any and all our future children.
Anyway, we have had an exciting and long week. Hopefully you have had a great week too!
Until Next Time!
So this week has flown by! I didn't realize it was Friday until half way through the day. Insane, I tell you, insane. This week has been both frustrating and exciting.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were merely days. They were exciting but just filled with school. This was the first full week of school and it was filled. I haven't been this tired in a long long time. I worked hard on Thursday to not fall asleep in class, and that is unusual for me. Especially considering the class I struggled the most in was Biology. But I survived and made it through my first full week of school. Next week we add Lab classes into the mix.
But this week also gave us an adoption situation we are actively pursuing. We have officially matched with an expectant mother. I am nervous to post this, but that is because we have a long, sordid history with adoption that has ended with us having two failed adoptions. It makes me sad to even think about, let alone think that this adoption could end in the same way. The differences are many, including a lack of taboo on the idea of adoption within the community of the expectant mother and the fact that this is not her first adoption.
But it is also our only chance for quite some time. This is a private adoption and it will take pretty much all of our saved money. That means it doesn't matter if this one fails, we get very little money back and that is it. And we are nervous. However, we are also very optimistic and hopeful. We can't help but be hopeful.
With the adoption on the horizon, we also have the task of learning as much as we can about the culture of the expectant mother. Learning the customs as best as we can, learning at least a little of the language, learning major holidays... those are all so important in raising a child cross culturally. I find being connected to my culture has been so important in forming my own identity and I want that for any and all our future children.
Anyway, we have had an exciting and long week. Hopefully you have had a great week too!
Until Next Time!
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Why do you have so many gay posts?
So it finally happened. I checked my email associated with this blog and there is was. The first email asking why I had so many gay posts. I have to admit, I am so amused by this that I have decided to dedicate a whole post to the topic.
During June of 2014 I did a Pride month of posting. I plan to do it again this June, and hell I may make up "Gay posting month" just to have ANOTHER month of pretty strictly gay posts. Why? Because I am gay. I have posted a couple Facebook statuses that read "Did you know I'm gay?!" in a very sarcastic tone, and so now I bring that sarcasm to the blog! YAY!
So in case there was any question, and to neatly put me in a box that works for you, I am gay. Yeup, gay gay gay gay gay. I am a homosexual. And, just in case you were wondering, I make no apologies for that. I am not sorry that I'm gay, I do not apologize for this fact of my life. At the same time I also don't go around shouting it from the roofs. I however do not hide it in most aspects of my life.
So why did I do a month of posts about gay things if I don't go screaming about it from rooftops? Because I am normal and feel that my sexuality shouldn't be a thing. I want to be able to make posts and not have to feel like I'm doing something controversial or something secretive. I mean, for sure, I am not going around fucking in the streets... but you would think I was based on some responses I get around here.
For example, my partner and I don't pay separately when we go out to eat. I know, scandalous. We were at a chicken wing sports bar and when it was realized that we were paying together because we were more than buddies there watching a game, our waiter, rather loudly, declared us faggots as he walked away from our table. Why? Because we didn't have the intelligence to pay separately, so we were shoving our homosexuality down other people's throats.
Another example? Okay. My partner and I hold hands in public, occasionally, when appropriate. Which really means we don't hold hands in public when people can see us, or unless we are at something like the Pride functions we attend (mostly because we don't want to deal with assholes and it's not worth out lives to hold hands. And yes, our lives would be in danger because the gay panic defense is still a thing). So at the movies once, we were holding hands in the dark, after the house lights went down when the main attraction started. It wasn't five minutes into the movie that I heard the asshole behind us start up. "I can't believe that. They are holding hands. Ugh, not everyone needs to know they are gay!" Mind you, he was bitching while cuddling the woman next to him. Not just holding hands, no, actually had his arms around her with the middle arm rest up and her laying into his body. But our hand holding in the dark was such an affront because we were shoving our gayness down his throat.
Do you see the problem here? The reason I have an entire month of gay posts is not to "shove gay down [your] throat". It's because I am gay and that month is important to me. Those posts aren't anything way out there. Those posts aren't anything you need to be all that concerned about. If you do not like my month of gay posts, that's okay. You don't have to like them, nor do you have to read them. Why? Because they aren't addressing you. Do you understand now?
I guess the answer of "Why do you have so many gay posts" is a very simple one. I am gay. This is my life, as boring as it is, it is petty gay, because I am gay (and boring really). I write posts here for me, for my memories, for my own benefit. I can't stop you from being offended by my posts, but I feel if you are offended by what I write, you would be offended by meeting me. So why give a single fuck of bother against someone you probably wouldn't click with if they were sitting across from you? It's okay you don't like my gay posts, but I highly doubt it has to do with my month of gay posts and more to do with just the gay aspect. If that is you, we wouldn't be friends anyway so please, go away.
Until Next Time.
During June of 2014 I did a Pride month of posting. I plan to do it again this June, and hell I may make up "Gay posting month" just to have ANOTHER month of pretty strictly gay posts. Why? Because I am gay. I have posted a couple Facebook statuses that read "Did you know I'm gay?!" in a very sarcastic tone, and so now I bring that sarcasm to the blog! YAY!
So in case there was any question, and to neatly put me in a box that works for you, I am gay. Yeup, gay gay gay gay gay. I am a homosexual. And, just in case you were wondering, I make no apologies for that. I am not sorry that I'm gay, I do not apologize for this fact of my life. At the same time I also don't go around shouting it from the roofs. I however do not hide it in most aspects of my life.
So why did I do a month of posts about gay things if I don't go screaming about it from rooftops? Because I am normal and feel that my sexuality shouldn't be a thing. I want to be able to make posts and not have to feel like I'm doing something controversial or something secretive. I mean, for sure, I am not going around fucking in the streets... but you would think I was based on some responses I get around here.
For example, my partner and I don't pay separately when we go out to eat. I know, scandalous. We were at a chicken wing sports bar and when it was realized that we were paying together because we were more than buddies there watching a game, our waiter, rather loudly, declared us faggots as he walked away from our table. Why? Because we didn't have the intelligence to pay separately, so we were shoving our homosexuality down other people's throats.
Another example? Okay. My partner and I hold hands in public, occasionally, when appropriate. Which really means we don't hold hands in public when people can see us, or unless we are at something like the Pride functions we attend (mostly because we don't want to deal with assholes and it's not worth out lives to hold hands. And yes, our lives would be in danger because the gay panic defense is still a thing). So at the movies once, we were holding hands in the dark, after the house lights went down when the main attraction started. It wasn't five minutes into the movie that I heard the asshole behind us start up. "I can't believe that. They are holding hands. Ugh, not everyone needs to know they are gay!" Mind you, he was bitching while cuddling the woman next to him. Not just holding hands, no, actually had his arms around her with the middle arm rest up and her laying into his body. But our hand holding in the dark was such an affront because we were shoving our gayness down his throat.
Do you see the problem here? The reason I have an entire month of gay posts is not to "shove gay down [your] throat". It's because I am gay and that month is important to me. Those posts aren't anything way out there. Those posts aren't anything you need to be all that concerned about. If you do not like my month of gay posts, that's okay. You don't have to like them, nor do you have to read them. Why? Because they aren't addressing you. Do you understand now?
I guess the answer of "Why do you have so many gay posts" is a very simple one. I am gay. This is my life, as boring as it is, it is petty gay, because I am gay (and boring really). I write posts here for me, for my memories, for my own benefit. I can't stop you from being offended by my posts, but I feel if you are offended by what I write, you would be offended by meeting me. So why give a single fuck of bother against someone you probably wouldn't click with if they were sitting across from you? It's okay you don't like my gay posts, but I highly doubt it has to do with my month of gay posts and more to do with just the gay aspect. If that is you, we wouldn't be friends anyway so please, go away.
Until Next Time.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Happy Festivus!!!
Happy Festivus for the rest of us!!
Today has been full of boring togetherness with my partner. He actually got off work early, which is rare treat now a days, and we went out for lunch. And let me tell you, traffic. Traffic. Fucking traffic. All season I have been saying over and over how little traffic there has been in a major shopping area we visit frequently. Well now I am eating my words. Today was insane for traffic and of course we had mundane things to do, like get dog food, that couldn't wait because stores will be closing up tomorrow afternoon.
I think the weather has something to do with it, actually. The traffic is insane because it's freakin' 60 degrees(f) outside! It is winter, officially, and it is warmer now than it was on both Halloween and Thanksgiving. Insane. But when the weather gets warmer, people decide they want to be out and shopping. Which leads us to traffic issues. Although, the weatherman just told us all that tomorrow it is probably going to snow. Mwahahahhaha.
Now we are sitting, watching the early evening news, and my partner is sleeping on the couch. We are old boring people. I do need to get up and start a pot of chili, but other than that, we have nothing to do tonight. Perhaps we'll give the dogs their Christmas presents early but more than likely we will do nothing and then fall asleep on the couch watching the 11 o'clock news (on the same channel). Doesn't that sound exciting?!
Until Next Time!
Today has been full of boring togetherness with my partner. He actually got off work early, which is rare treat now a days, and we went out for lunch. And let me tell you, traffic. Traffic. Fucking traffic. All season I have been saying over and over how little traffic there has been in a major shopping area we visit frequently. Well now I am eating my words. Today was insane for traffic and of course we had mundane things to do, like get dog food, that couldn't wait because stores will be closing up tomorrow afternoon.
I think the weather has something to do with it, actually. The traffic is insane because it's freakin' 60 degrees(f) outside! It is winter, officially, and it is warmer now than it was on both Halloween and Thanksgiving. Insane. But when the weather gets warmer, people decide they want to be out and shopping. Which leads us to traffic issues. Although, the weatherman just told us all that tomorrow it is probably going to snow. Mwahahahhaha.
Now we are sitting, watching the early evening news, and my partner is sleeping on the couch. We are old boring people. I do need to get up and start a pot of chili, but other than that, we have nothing to do tonight. Perhaps we'll give the dogs their Christmas presents early but more than likely we will do nothing and then fall asleep on the couch watching the 11 o'clock news (on the same channel). Doesn't that sound exciting?!
Until Next Time!
Monday, December 22, 2014
Patience? What patience?
So I was that kid. Oh you know the one... the one who you can't leave unattended with presents under the tree. The reason you have locks on closet doors. The one who can't leave well enough alone. Yeah that's me.
I am not a big fan of surprises... I never have been and probably never will be. As a child, my parents seriously thought they were pulling something by hiding Christmas presents in the top of their closet. I was very good at pretending to be surprised, despite knowing every single thing I was going to get. And I never minded. I much preferred knowing what I was getting so I could prepare myself.
Which brings me to now, as a 29 year old adult. I am a damn adult and do you know how hard it is to not rip open the presents my partner just put under the tree for me? I know what they are, but still, presents! I am home, alone, all day and those gifts are taunting me. The struggle is real.
As I sit here, drinking a flavored malt beverage while waiting for my bourbon pork chops to come out of the oven, I can't help but wonder if I can convince my partner to let us open our gifts on Festivus instead of Christmas. I feel that it won't work, but in my head I'm scheming ways to try to convince him that it really is okay. I just can't keep looking at them!
Are you a surprise person or do you prefer to know?
Until Next Time!
I am not a big fan of surprises... I never have been and probably never will be. As a child, my parents seriously thought they were pulling something by hiding Christmas presents in the top of their closet. I was very good at pretending to be surprised, despite knowing every single thing I was going to get. And I never minded. I much preferred knowing what I was getting so I could prepare myself.
Which brings me to now, as a 29 year old adult. I am a damn adult and do you know how hard it is to not rip open the presents my partner just put under the tree for me? I know what they are, but still, presents! I am home, alone, all day and those gifts are taunting me. The struggle is real.
As I sit here, drinking a flavored malt beverage while waiting for my bourbon pork chops to come out of the oven, I can't help but wonder if I can convince my partner to let us open our gifts on Festivus instead of Christmas. I feel that it won't work, but in my head I'm scheming ways to try to convince him that it really is okay. I just can't keep looking at them!
Are you a surprise person or do you prefer to know?
Until Next Time!
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