Upcoming changes and stuff

So first things first, I am going to be changing the template of the blog.  I plan to add adsense as a way to make a few pennies during the month, as I have 9 whole readers on average.  I don't expect to make money, I just want that option.  The problem is I have no clue how to add an adsense add to this template... I don't really know how to do it with the blogger templates either, but I think it will be easier because that's how things always work.  So expect a few aesthetic changes in the future.


Second, my birthday is this week!  I am excited.  The big 3-0.  Okay, maybe it's only big for me, but 30 is another decade older.  I have been alive for 3 decades.  That just sounds old!  I have really wrestled with the idea of being 30... thirty years old!  I don't know why, perhaps because when  you are 15  the oldest you can think of is 30.  Who knows.  But it's been hard to wrap my brain around!

On top of that I am also struggling with how little I have accomplished in 30 years.  I think that one is taking more of a toll on me than anything.  In 30 years, I have accomplished nothing I wanted to do in life.  I am still in school, trying to get a bachelors for fuck's sakes.  I do not have children.  I am ringed with someone (which I never thought I would do).  I have not traveled outside of the US..... I mean, the big things I have just not done.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't.  It's hard to realize that you won't achieve your "before 30" list.

Either way, I've been struggling with that and school this week, which means I've not had time to do much of anything else.  But now I can focus on the good a bit.

The good you say?

Well, I am working my ass off this week in order to go out this weekend.  Hell yes, I am going out all weekend.  Friday my partner is taking me somewhere for a quiet dinner.  We typically do the melting pot, but that will be saved for another weekend this year.  I haven't decided where we will go, but honestly I'd be happy with Chipotle or somewhere low key like that!  Then the real fun starts!

Saturday we are heading up to visit friends in another city.  Not just a few friends, but there are going to be around 20 of us (including spouses) all hanging out, enjoying a meal, drinking, and just being goofy people like we are.  Why?  Well, why not?  I mean, yeah, this really isn't happening because it's my bday, but I can always pretend.  :-p

So this week is full of school so this weekend can be full of fun!  Seems like a fair trade off.

Until Next Time!

Children, daycare, ugh

Today I spent my day working worrying about the expectant mom we have matched with and looking up daycares.  Sounds fun, yeah?

No.

My partner and I had this conversation and decided it was best if I finished my schooling while the baby is young.  Which means that for the next 2 years the baby will have to be in daycare.  And have you ever tried to get your kid into daycare?  Yeahhh... insane!  The baby isn't due until July of this year, and one center actually told me it would be almost a year before they could even tell me if they had an opening!  We aren't even hoping for a spot until Jan of 2016 but yeah, apparently I'm late in looking.

So today was spent trying to find a center that I would be comfortable with.  Isn't that such a first world problem?  I mean, you really only think about these things when you have nothing else to worry about in life.  And while we do have a few other things, this is what has taken over my mind.  That and the fact that there is no Montessori infant schools in my area.  Grr.

I should also mention I used to work at day care centers, so I'm pretty insanely picky but pretty lax at the same time.  I understand how shit works, but I also know exactly what I want.  Weird.

I also spent my day trying not to be paranoid about the utter lack of communication we have had with our attorney and the expecting mom.  I like communication.  I like when people call me or text me and tell me updates.  Let me know how things are going.  Right now I text and get no response, or a one word response, and it makes me horribly paranoid about life.  Our last adoption failed and we learned that right after communication stopped.  Communication is an adoption lifeline. 

Today has been enlightening and paranoid inducing.  Fun times yeah?!

Until Next Time. 

Look up

Look up young child, the world will improve.  

Things will ease, your life won't always be hard.

Look up child, you will soon find your groove.

Things will change for you, because you matter.

Sometimes it seems like the snow is always falling.  Yes, some people love snow, but sometimes the snow is so much more.

It seems like no matter what, life is always going to be hard.  Two steps forward, one step backwards.  It seems like life as we know it is being thwarted at every turn.  And that makes it hard to keep our heads up.  Makes it hard to keep getting up every morning. 

As the sun raises on another snowy day, I can't help but drawing comparisons to how life feels right now.  I currently live in a state that doesn't allow marriage for me.  It doesn't allow marriage because some people find what I do in the bedroom "icky".  Or that it some how invalidates their love.  How can love downgrade love?  That is something I can't understand.

I don't know the point of this other than to say that it does get better.  At the end of the every snow storm is the sun.  No, snow doesn't get rainbows typically, but that doesn't make them any less beautiful.  Today I choose to look for the sun at the end of the storm. 

Until Next Time.

Twitter, blogging, school and other assorted things

First, I have officially joined Twitter.  @Parading_Hawks.  Feel free to follow me.  I am very new to this, so I have no clue what is happening quite yet.  But I was able to follow Neil Patrick Harris, so I'm pretty happy.

Blogging was off the table last week.  It was test week at school, the first bit test of my education, lol.  I got a B in Biology and I'm still waiting for my grade in Math.... not too shabby.  My Spanish test will be this week at some point, which is going to be interesting.  Needless to say, last week was a tough week for me to have any time to do anything but study for tests. 

Since school was the theme of last week, that is all that is in my mind right now.  School was called off today because of the snowpocalypse that we were expecting.  We are probably 6 inches in so far (maybe more, I haven't taken a ruler out there) and I'm happy.  So very happy.  I am hoping to maybe get one more snow day, but that is mostly because I do not want to have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab tomorrow evening. 

Though, this brings me to my next point, I got a new pair of gloves and a scarf.  Whoop whoop.  This is mostly so when I have to traipse through a foot of snow after lab class tomorrow I will have something to cover my hands and my face. My new gloves also have the special something or another that allows me to still be able to use my smart phone touch screen, which is an added bonus. 

We spent our snow day doing nothing of much for nothing.  We are currently finishing up Rosewater, which is a good movie.  The story is powerful and thought provoking.  The book is also awesome, and the movie very much plays out just like the book.  It stays very true and I feel John Stewart did an amazing job putting this movie together.  We absolutely give it glowing reviews.  And wish we knew what more we could do.  

Really that is all I have to say for now.  I really need to go write a lab report for biology.

Until Next Time!

Take time to smell the roses

Ever since I could remember, I have been a slow walker.  I used to frustrate the crap out of people I would go walking with (and I probably still do!).  I have never been one to rush around, walk as fast as I could, or anything like that.  I enjoy walking slowly because it gives me an appreciate for the world around me, something you don't get when you speed through life.

This type of walking has always served me well.  I don't get there quickly, but I adjust for that time wise.  Yes, I usually arrive places really early, but who the hell complains because you have time to look around before your appointment?  I make sure to arrive plenty early places so I can walk around, enjoy my sight seeing and just generally enjoy life.

Waling slowly gives me a chance to really embrace the philosophy of "stop and smell the roses".  It's amazing how many small things you notice when you aren't rushing around.  I highly recommend it to everyone.  Taking that extra moment gives you that many more chances to really appreciate how beautiful everything truly is in this world. 

I challenge you all to take a moment and walk a little slower.  See what you can see.

Until Next Time.

A frustrating day

I am so frustrated right now and it is all because of bullshit.  Basically, I am just having a frustrating day.  And it's really frustrating.  Did I mention it was frustrating?

Because I'm frustrated.

On a different note, school is going well.  I had to drop chemistry, it just wasn't worth it.  From there the 4 classes I have left are awesome.  I am learning some and generally enjoying my time at school.  I won't say I'm making friends... I'm not sure I know how to make friends in the classic sense.  But, but I did sit on the bus and talk for a bit with a guy in my class.  I learned about his past, what brought him to my quaint city, what his plans are for the future.  I don't know that we are friends, but we are friendly.  He is also typically my partner in class for partner assignments.  So there is that.

Life at home is moving slowly but surely.  Our goal this weekend is the dig out a little in the nursery and to get our bedroom and bathroom cleaned.  One down side of me being back in school is the house doesn't look as pretty as it used to, but I think we are both okay with that.  It just requires us to both work on the weekends to make the house presentable to outsiders, lol.

I guess that is all the update I have right now.  Life is trucking forward and shit moves on.  Hopefully tomorrow I will be less frustrated.

Until Next Time!