Pride Month!

photo credit: incurable_hippie via photopin cc

Tomorrow starts the fun month called PRIDE!  And I am excited.  I love Pride month and I love the celebrations of diversity and just plain ol' pride that happen all around.  This year we are hoping to get to a couple different pride celebrations, and maybe, just maybe, getting to see George Takei at one of his parades.  I think that would make my life at this point, lol.

photo credit: Frederic Poirot via photopin cc

Either way I am issuing my own challenge, mostly to myself, during pride month.  My goal is to post 6 days a week with the many things I am proud of in my life, in my legacy, and in the world.  The advancement of rights given to everyone is amazing and I want to try to highlight as many as I can.  There are some awesome things going on in the world in regards to pride and I can't wait to show them off!

If you wanna join me, that's awesome, if not, it's cool.  I am just excited to be able to post about pride without too much fear!  So please enjoy the month of PRIDE!!!

Until Next Time!

Woah busy and bathing suit ready

I'm late to the game this week on the link up because, woah, busy!  Since Sunday I haven't really been home, much less awake when home, at all.  This is busy time as everyone I know is hosting some type of cook out or get together or just general hang out time. 

But I am stopping in to do a FTSF and reading the prompt I couldn't help but laugh!  The prompt this week?  It's bathing suit season, and to prepare, I...  

I really don't do much.  Why?  I don't swim.  I mean, I can swim, and I can swim very well, but I just really don't have an interest in swimming.  My partner, on the other hand, is a freaking fish!  He grew up in Florida, so it kind of makes sense that he is such an awesome swimmer.  I, on the other hand, grew up in a land locked state, and the reality is that swimming just wasn't a big part of my life.  That, and I haven't worn shorts on purpose in 20 years so the thought of putting them on to get in water?  Yeah, not my cup of koolaid.

Now, I do find myself wanting to work out more in the summer, so I do.  My partner and I are getting ready to jump into a better routine with getting out and walking, as well as making sure we make it to the gym at least a couple days a week.

We are also trying a new diet as well.  While we don't look at diet in the tradition sense, we are trying to make sure we eat better food, and are following a mainly primal diet.  We eat very few grains and try to stick to lots and lots of vegetables and good farmer's market meats.  It's working to help us feel better, if not helping us shaving inches off our waist line.

Now I must run off because I have things to make for a cookout tomorrow and I haven't even had time to make it to the damn grocery store yet!!

And as an aside note, I am absolutely loving the new FTSF graphic!  Rainbow hair and unicorns, yes please.

Until Next Time.

In honor of Maya Angelou

Today the world lost a great poet.  A poet who gave so much to the literary world, a poet who taught so many people about the struggles of her people, taught so many people about the struggles of all humanity.  Today I have chosen to honor Ms. Angelou.

I don't memorize a lot of poetry, it's just not something I am great at, but as a child I memorized one of her poems.  20 years later I still know this poem, and find myself reciting it rather often.  In honor of Ms. Angelou, I give you one of my favorite poems by her.  May she rest in peace.

Still I Rise
Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Just FYI

So I'm fighting something with hotwords on the blog right now.

If you notice any post that has the blue word underlinging thingy that either pops up a random window or takes you to a random page, please let me know.

I do not have such a thing on this blog.  So Please, don't hesitate to either email me or leave a comment or whatever.

Thanks.

Words have meanings...

and things.


As a writer, I am constantly reminded that words have meanings. And just because you can use a word in a sentence doesn't mean that's the best word or that it means what you think it means.

Case in point? The world Bully.



Looking to dictionary.com, the definition of the word "Bully":
noun, plural bul·lies.
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

verb (used with object), bul·lied, bul·ly·ing.
1. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
verb (used without object), bul·lied, bul·ly·ing.
2. to be loudly arrogant and overbearing.

So basically to be a bully is to be an asshole. It is to constantly intimidate someone who is weaker or smaller than you. It is to be the type of person who beats up the geek for his lunch money every day simply because you can. That is a bully.

 You know what is not a bully? Someone who disagrees with you. A bully is not someone who merely doesn't like what you have to say, even if they scream at you that you are wrong, the doesn't make them a bully. It does still make them an asshole, but not a bully.

But why are they not a bully simply because they don't agree with you? Because the key is this fancy word "habitually". If they yell at you daily for the same topic to the point that you can't get a word in? Yes, that's a bully. But to merely disagree with you on certain topics does not a bully make.

So why am I going in to this long, drawn out scope and sequence of what is a bully? Because last night I was called a bully, simply because I disagreed, vehemently, with someone. This was not habitual, because this was the first time I met this dude, but it was pretty passionate, on both ends. When he realized he had lost the group from his side, he immediately screamed that I was a bully and that I shouldn't become a teacher because we try to keep this type of shit out of the schools. He had a few more choice words to say, but I just kinda ignored him. He was rather drunk at this point.

I also see this attitude around the internet. I read certain blogs because they remind me of what I am constantly fighting against in the world, and among several of these blogs there is this idea that because someone comments and disagrees with them, they are being bullied. They are being told to shut their mouth and some how that is a violation of their first amendment rights and they are being bullied. I read it over and over and over, and while I don't comment, I find it quite suspect that so many people took a buzzword and are twisting it to their own agenda. It really makes me wonder if these people own a dictionary.

I just want to take this platform to remind people that words have meanings and shit, and just because you can use a specific word, it may not be advisable. To take a word that has true meaning, and is a real problem for many people today, and throw it around like loose change, doesn't help anyone. Please remember when you go to speak, the words you are saying will impact someone. The choices you make for your vocabulary will have meanings that you should bastardize. Say the words you mean, and mean the words you say. If you need help, use a dictionary. They are your friend.

Until Next Time.

People like this exist?

So I've been holed up in my house writing and dealing with pretty awful migraines lately.  Today I ventured out online to see what the interwebs had been up to while I was away.  And what I found was a bunch of bullshit.  People who feel the need to scream that they have it right and that other people have it wrong.  I spent my time trying to not read the comments on articles posted about gay marriage in PA, parents who have nothing better to do than track the color of their children's poop on a spreadsheet (as well as everything else about their child, quantifying them they said).  I also spent the time reading about a group of people who review Native American children's books, saw pictures of a cake someone made that offended me, and all in all just trying to decide if being back on the internet was worth it this week.

photo credit: Swiv via photopin cc

I found that crawling out of my writing bubble was not really worth it because I lost a little more faith in humanity.  I didn't really enjoy reading about people screaming that gays are "intolerant or they'd tolerate my intolerance" and not realizing the irony of their statements.  I read about people screaming that in order to be a good parent you have to document every movement of your child, when in reality that leaves you very little time to actually pay attention to their child.  I read about people screaming about how you aren't "Native" enough unless you live on a reservation or are willing to deny any other part of your heritage.  I read about people who just really don't understand that everyone is different and that's okay.  But people don't want to admit that it's okay to be different.

photo credit: Today is a good day via photopin cc

So tonight I am finishing up this post and then probably going back to my writing bubble.  I really want to have a first draft written before the end of summer.  I am loving this ability to sit down at my computer upstairs, or the laptop downstairs, and write until I'm done writing.  It's really exciting and empowering to know that I am capable of writing a story, a novel.  I will be a published author at some point in my life!  And that is exciting.


Until Next Time.

Almost done

So this bathroom redo has taken so much of my time that I don't know if I have even come up for air in the last week.  But, but but but, it's done.  Finished.  Complete.  Over!

Look for me to get back on track with the blog now that it's done.  YAY!  It's done. 

Character Thumbnail

So reading through the writing for dummies books, one big thing they talk about a lot of is getting to know your main characters.  So I figured I would sketch out a bit about my different characters in hopes of helping you sketch out yours. 

The Main Character Thumbnail seems very interesting to me.  You basically answer 5 questions about your main character and as you progress through the chapter you turn that thumbnail in to a full character bio.  I figured I'd do a couple of them for my characters and as I progress through the chapter I will post new posts which will hopefully, hopefully, end with a full character bio! 

Character Thumbnails:

Name and age: Kent and he is roughly 15 for the majority of the story.
Need/want: Kent wants to understand the new planet, and needs validation from his parents
Consequences of Failure: Not carrying forward humanity, failing his parents, death
Key flaw: Kent has a short temper and is very insecure about things
Core strength: Kent is loyal.

Name and age: Naomi, she is roughly 13 throughout the story
Need/want: She wants to fit in while being a strong, independent woman
Consequences of Failure: death of humanity and herself
Key flaw: Naomi is very secretive, untrusting of everyone and everything she meets.
Core strength: Naomi is tough.

Name and age: Nash, 7
Need/want: To live life to the fullest, wants to grow up to be awesome
Consequences of Failure: sadness
Key flaw: He is 7, his biggest flaw is forgetting what his mom says.
Core strength: Nash is a small boy with a big heart.

So there are three character thumbnails I've put together so far.  Kent and Naomi come from the same book, my Sci-fi young adult novel.  Nash comes from my children's book series idea.  Hopefully writing around these characters and fleshing them out in ways I haven't done before will lead me to a publishing contract... hopefully.

Until Next Time.

The nicest thing anyone ever did for me...

This week's FTSF prompt is "The nicest thing anyone ever did for me was...".  I was tempted to sit this one out again, because sometimes it's easier to sit them out than to try to figure out the answer to the prompt, lol.  But alas, I have been sitting here most of the morning trying to figure this out.

3 hours of sleeping bliss!

I was going to say "oh the nicest thing was my Partner letting me nap when I wasn't feeling well..."  but that seems like something anyone would do if you were sick.  I think that feels like the nicest thing because I REALLY was feeling like crap the other night and my partner let me sleep for about 3 hours without disturbing me.  He even kept the dogs quiet, which is a feat all on it's own!

As I sit here, still, contemplating what the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, I am still struggling to come up with a solid answer.  I don't deal with a lot of people on a daily basis, and those I deal with are either children or people who aren't the friendliest to strangers.

I guess the absolute nicest thing done for me was when I had knee surgery a few years ago and my co teacher set about having the class make me "Get Well Soon" cards.  If you've never gotten a card from a two year old, I highly recommend it.  I wish I could find them right this moment so I could take a picture for you to see the absolutely adorable scribbles and pictures.  Unfortunately our house is a bit in shambles due to rearranging, purging, and painting that the box with those cards are probably on the bottom of the largest stack!  Anyway, those cards made me really happy, knowing that at least my co teacher missed me in the classroom, if not the children themselves actually missing me.

It's weird to think I had to spend so much time coming up with this answer.  Perhaps I need to start keeping a journal of the nice things that happen in my life.  I know there are plenty of them that happen, I am not an angry shrew or anything.  What are happy things that have happened in your life?

This post is a part of the Finish the Sentence Friday blog hop.  Feel free to join in!

photo credit: King.... via photopin cc

Why do you write?

photo credit: Lua Ahmed via photopin cc

My partner asked me today what makes me want to write.  Why do I enjoy this task so much, knowing that it takes so much of my time and energy yet it promises me nothing.  I couldn't answer him.  I really couldn't.  I sat there and just kind of stared out in to space, because I feel there has to be an answer, but I cannot find it.  I do not know why I write.  I do not know why I embark with such vigor on an activity that will probably never get picked up, will not make me a lot of money, and will probably never get me noticed except to send rejection letters.

But I do write.  Every day I show up on my couch, occasionally with pants, and I write.  I write out scenes that are dancing through my head.  I write in the voice of characters that only exist in my dream world.  I often get up in the middle of the night to write something that I dreamed about.  I enjoy most minutes, though I guess I bitch a lot about it, which is why he asked.

I am a creative person by nature.  I really enjoy taking pictures, drawing, writing, and calligraphy.  I enjoy dancing around my house, singing at the top of my lungs, pretending to be anywhere but here.  I always had imaginary friends growing up and we had some epic conversations.  Even today I will talk out loud when writing a conversation between my characters.  This lets me hear if it sounds natural or forced.  It gives me so much information.

So after I sat and thunk about why I write, I couldn't help but asking him why he invents.  He didn't have an answer either.  I think we are at a happy understanding.  I will not ask him why he invents and he will not ask me why I write.  I think it makes us both happier.

Until Next Time.

When life gives you paint

You start singing Under The Sea and paint your bathroom and closet.  We picked a color and didn't realize it was going to look very seafoam green on our wall, but it's actually not bad.  We both like it and it's not blue!  This is a major bonus for us.  Not blue. 

So today I spent the whole day painting.  Starting early in the morning as my partner left for work, I painted.  I stopped for a bit to eat, then went back to painting.  Why?  Because I wanted it to be done dammit.  But alas, as it typically goes, we ran out of paint.  Well before I was finished.  Our closet is deceptively huge.  I mean, HUGE.  It's actually bigger than the bathroom, which is amazing.

So painting the bathroom and closet consumed me today and that was okay.  But sadly I have to let it consume me again.  Tomorrow I take the day off to spend it with my friend and then we go back to painting on Wednesday.  Hopefully I will get by with just the other gallon we bought today, but if not, back to the store we go to get more.

Either way, this week is going to be spent finishing up the painting and hopefully putting a few more ideas for my children's book series on paper.  I want to be very protective of the idea, but at the same time I want to scream it from the rooftops. Soon, hopefully, soon.

Until Next Time. 

Friday, Friday

Usually on Friday, I participate in a blog hop.  This week, however, due to the topic I felt it best to refrain.  When people usually want someone to write about their parents, they want happy, fluffy things.  Writing about my parents would not be fluffy or happy.

So instead I am sitting here debating if I want to post on anything important.  I have a new idea that I have been fleshing out, for a series of children's books and I am excited to keep writing to those.  This puts a Sci Fi novel in my queue and now these children's books.  I am excited but  nervous at the same time.  I want to make sure I can give them each attention.

So I think for today, this post will have to suffice.  Next week I hope to excite things up the blog a bit with some writing exercises, some more posts about writing, and possibly a few posts on other things, who knows!

I hope you all enjoy your weekend.

Until next time.

Getting caught up in the details

Today I spent time hanging out with a friend and then I came home to start writing.  I found myself going back to reread what I had already written, and then I groaned.  I knew where this was headed.  I was getting caught up in the little details of the story.  The ones that never make sense in the first draft.  Example?  My main character (MC) in the first chapter left the pod at age 11.  In the second chapter he left the pod at 13.  In the rough draft, this doesn't matter, but in my mind today as I reread what I've written, it was annoying me!  So I found myself going through looking for the little details.

And this was a problem.  After spending an hour reading through the rough draft, what amounts to 3 chapters total, I realized my flaw and all but screamed at myself to STOP!  I didn't need to read through the rough draft to continue to write the story.  In reality, reading through that draft impeded my work.  I was unable to go on with the story until I could find and fix ridiculous flaws. 

When I talk around other writers I know, I find this is a very common problem.  Everyone wants to make everything PERFECT immediately, myself included, that we lose site of the bigger pictures.  We lose site of the fact that all first drafts suck massively.  All first drafts are something you never want anyone to read, and that is okay.  It is okay to verbally throw up on the paper, get everything down, then go back and make decisions and rewrite parts that suck.

As a writer, I feel it's important that you like what you write.  Which is why editing is so awesome.  But I also think it's important to stop getting caught up in the little details.  How many people do you show the first draft to?  Me, personally, None.  Not a single person.  Not my partner, not my best friend, not my editing buddy, no one. So stop worrying about what you've already written until you are done writing it!  The next great novel may come from you, unless you edit it away.

Until next time.

Death Becomes Him

photo credit: williamcho via photopin cc

This weekend was met with heartache in our family.  My Partner's grandfather died after a lengthy, but always losing, battle with Alzheimer's disease.  This man was the patriarch of a very spread out family, and according to my partner had been gone a long long time.

I never got to meet the man, but I heard many stories.  By the time the Partner and I became an official couple, his memory was already so bad that he was getting angry at being so confused.  My MIL didn't think it a good idea that we introduce anyone new to Grandfather's life.  I know my Partner wanted me to meet him many times, because from what I've heard, the man was pretty damn awesome.

The little I do know about him, from stories I've heard, Grandfather was a take no gruff kinda guy.  He never laid a hand on anyone (didn't even believe in spankings or anything), but he would tell it like it was.  My MIL often times would say "Oh, Partner, you are just like Grandfather.  Please behave!"  I would have loved to see the two of them in action together, cause apparently they would stir up quite a hoot.

So much has changed in our lives in the last few years that death was not one we expected.  This is only made more complicated because Grandfather's second wife has dementia and is not taking his death well.  She is insistent that Hospice is hiding him, and no matter who explains to her that Hospice wouldn't do that, she won't listen.  She has actually called my Partner once and demanded that he return Grandfather's brain to his body at once.  It's just a sad situation all around.

Alzheimer's is an angry disease and I feel it's only appropriate to be angry back at it.  This is a disease that steals a person's memory, the only thing that may continue to bring them joy as their body deteriorates.  People like Grandfather, people who have bodies that aren't falling apart, I feel are even worse off from Alzheimer's because the only thing killing them is their mind.  And for that, I am angry and so is my partner.  He is really angry that the man he looked up to for so many years, in the end, had no clue who he was.  Had no clue that as a boy, the Partner would spend hours playing with Grandfather.  Grandfather had no clue about anything they would do, and I think that is what is hurting my Partner more than anything else.

photo credit: j-dub1980 via photopin cc

But my Partner is doing okay, just unsure how to navigate talking to his mom and then to his Grandma-maw.  Death is not something he's had a whole lot of experience with and I think it freaks him out a little.  Unfortunately, I've dealt with a lot of death, and I'm trying to gently guide him as best I can, but some things you just have to experience for yourself.  I just hate seeing him sad, for any reason, and the fact that there will be no funeral or memorial service seems to be keeping him from finding a little closure to the whole situation.

I keep reminding myself that life has trials, life has ups and it has downs, and we just have to hang on for the ride.  This is, however, one roller coaster I could have done without. 

Until next time. 

People Watching for Characters

One of my favorite past times is sitting at the coffee shop watching people.  I am not sure why this is, but I think every writer I know enjoys people watching.  I don't particularly want to interact with these people, merely sit and watch them.  I find the best places are smaller coffee shops.

A lot of my characters are based on people I know, meet in coffee shops, or just stories I make up about their histories while watching them try to cross the street against the light.  I try to keep people I know generic but if you knew them well enough you could probably guess.  I plan to fully play innocent if they ever ask me.  :)

Every day there are new people who walk in and out of the doors of millions of businesses around the world.  They are all different.  They look different, they dress different, they order different things.  The most amazing thing is that sometimes you can get a really great character idea from one of those people.

Take for example a current character I am writing, Anya.  Anya is of Mongolian decent and the reasoning behind that was a conversation I overheard at a local coffee shop one day.  I was sitting there, doing paid writing, and I heard a little girl call another little girl a "mongoloid".  Little girl B's mother was rightfully appalled, namely because little girl B had Down Syndrome.  It was pretty obvious that little girl A was mimicking behavior she had heard elsewhere, but it was still gasp worthy.

So little Girl B's mother approached the situation and asked little girl A (where her mother or father were I have no clue!) if she knew what the word meant.  Little girl A just shrugged her shoulders.  So little girl B's mom began to explain why people with downs were called "Mongoloids".  She explained it so genuinely and patiently and I couldn't help but listen in.  The reality is I think the entire row of patrons on my side were listening.  Would we have that much grace if our child was called an offensive name?  I think we were all asking ourselves that at that moment.

So the story goes on and listening to little girl B's mom explain it, and explain in detail the facial features, the skin tone, the language, I knew I had to write a story which included a girl who matched that description.  Never would I be able to describe something so poignantly as the mother did, but she created my character Anya.

Had I not been people watching, this wouldn't have happened and my character would never have been born.  So if you are stuck on a character or a setting, just go and listen.  You may hear something to help you create your own Anya.

(And to end the story nicely, little girl A apologized.  Little girl B got a coloring page from the bin and I still have no clue where A's parents were.  I left before she did.)

Until next time.

FTSF

Blog hop time!  I kinda like not having to think of a topic all my own on Fridays!  This week's Finish the Sentence Friday (FTSF) is  "I have absolutely no interest in..."

I  have absolutely no interest in skydiving.

From our first date, the Partner has been talking about doing crazy things.  He found out my fear of heights pretty early on in our relationship, so his entire being has been trying to convince me to sky dive.  Well, it ain't happening!  Yet he can't let it go!  Every time we talk about a vacation or a trip or even just a jaunt to the parks he starts asking about skydiving.  I have never told him he can't go, not my business, but I am not getting in a plane just to jump out of it!  How does anyone think that is fun!  Cause let me tell you, it doesn't look fun.

So I plan to keep both my feet firmly planted on a solid surface.  Skydiving is not for me, which is why I have absolutely no interest in the activity!

Until next time.

Sometimes

Sometimes I want to write really deep, emotional feeling posts.  I just don't feel like my Facebook wall (my only other social media account) is the place.  It's not because I have people on there I wouldn't want to read it, because I only keep people I like, it's more because I'm not trying to send a message or say something that makes me seem dramatic or even care if people read it.  I just want to say things sometimes, and sometimes those things get taken wrong, or cause other people concern, or just generally end up with bullshit.  I do try to avoid bullshit.

I want to be able to say "I am sad today because we don't have children" without a million people telling me how it'll get better and we'll get there and all the encouraging things people say in these types of situations.  I love them and believe them and really appreciate what they are saying, but that doesn't change the fact.  Nor does it change that I feel like an asshole because while their words are awesome, the reality is still the same and sometimes I wish they wouldn't say those things. 

I think everyone wants to be able to say what they mean and have it taken 100% how they meant it.  Unfortunately the internet is a cruel mistress and sometimes when you say something it's taken in a completely different way than you intended it to be taken.

On the flip side I think everyone wants to be able to support their friends.  Not only support them, but really be there for them in all ways.  I know I do! 

I don't know what I'm really trying to say here.  It's been a tough week.  It'll continue to be a tough week, and next week isn't looking any better.  But finding peace and happiness is sometimes harder than it looks.  But regardless of the situations, getting it out helps and now we move on to the better things in life.

Sometimes all you can do is put your head up and fake it till you make it.

Until next time.