Sometimes

Sometimes I want to write really deep, emotional feeling posts.  I just don't feel like my Facebook wall (my only other social media account) is the place.  It's not because I have people on there I wouldn't want to read it, because I only keep people I like, it's more because I'm not trying to send a message or say something that makes me seem dramatic or even care if people read it.  I just want to say things sometimes, and sometimes those things get taken wrong, or cause other people concern, or just generally end up with bullshit.  I do try to avoid bullshit.

I want to be able to say "I am sad today because we don't have children" without a million people telling me how it'll get better and we'll get there and all the encouraging things people say in these types of situations.  I love them and believe them and really appreciate what they are saying, but that doesn't change the fact.  Nor does it change that I feel like an asshole because while their words are awesome, the reality is still the same and sometimes I wish they wouldn't say those things. 

I think everyone wants to be able to say what they mean and have it taken 100% how they meant it.  Unfortunately the internet is a cruel mistress and sometimes when you say something it's taken in a completely different way than you intended it to be taken.

On the flip side I think everyone wants to be able to support their friends.  Not only support them, but really be there for them in all ways.  I know I do! 

I don't know what I'm really trying to say here.  It's been a tough week.  It'll continue to be a tough week, and next week isn't looking any better.  But finding peace and happiness is sometimes harder than it looks.  But regardless of the situations, getting it out helps and now we move on to the better things in life.

Sometimes all you can do is put your head up and fake it till you make it.

Until next time.