Compromises and other fun things

So today is the last Finish the Sentence Friday (FTSF) of Pride month!  Today's topic is The one thing I'll never compromise on is...  and this is a good one for pride!

So I started going through the list in my head of things that I really won't compromise on and that happened to also be about pride.  I realized that the most important aspect is the one I won't compromise on.  So my FTSF answer:

The one thing I'll never compromise on is being who I am.

photo credit: Photochiel via photopin cc

I have found, in my life time, that there is no reason to compromise who you are.  It is never worth it and in the end you always lose.  Just you, no one else.

I am not beautiful, I am not handsome, I am not rich, I am not super smart, but I am me.  And I am the only me that will exist in today's world.  Isn't that awesome?

I tried to hide myself when I was younger, merely out of a need to survive.  I needed to stay in the good graces of my religious family in order to make sure I had food to eat and the ability to freely move around.  I learned early on in life that you sometimes have to play by other people's rules, if nothing else than for survival.  During this time of growing up, I was not being who I was truly.  I was compromising myself in order to survive.

Fast forward a few years and suddenly I am compromising on the other side in order to have and keep friends.  I didn't realize at that time that friendship wasn't all give and no take, it was supposed to be a bit of give and a bit of take and a whole lot of really enjoying each other.  Instead I found myself pretending to hate straight people, pretending to be ultra femme, pretending to like this music or that.  Pretending to enjoy staying up all night and then having to go to work the next day.   So I was, once again, compromising who I was.

Then I met my partner and things started changing.  He didn't care about my past, nor my "friends", nor the bad habits I had picked up.  He let me just be when we were together, and I noticed a marked change in my behavior and the way I acted in general.  No more did I find that I was having to change who I was to fit in, to be friends with someone, to be romantic.  And it was nice.

Then I saw how he was with his friends, and suddenly it clicked.  With his friends, he came out to them pretty effortlessly.  Yeah, there was a bit of a worry, but he still did it.  He doesn't have a lot of contact with them anymore (because a lot of them have turned in to assholes) but he didn't worry about losing friendships.  He told his parents about a year and half into our relationship that we were together.  His mom was like "And water's wet, what's your point" and that was that.  It was amazing!  To see someone just be themselves, it was amazing.  It was also the reason I decided I couldn't compromise on who I was any longer.

Today there is a bit of a glitch in my plan to just be who I am.  While in reality I can be whomever I choose to be, my partner has a bit of a problem.  Damn living in a conservative state!  He has to compromise in order to keep his job.  But me?  I don't have to compromise any longer, and it's nice.  I am living the good life and a lot of it is because I don't have to hide who I am or who I love.
(editing to add that my Partner doesn't have to worry about being fired to us being together, as it's pretty obvious we have insurance together and his company knows.  He has to hide it because it's the bosses who make decisions and can get people fired.  His boss is a conservative, independent fundamentalist Baptist who proselytizes to people at work pretty constantly.   We don't like the game, but we play by the rules... at least until we can move!)

What will you not compromise on in your life?

Until Next Time.