Love wins

I sit here and find myself amazed.  37 minutes ago, SCOTUS came down with the historic ruling that marriage is for all people.  Marriage is for everyone.  I can get married.

I can get married.

I can fucking get married.

My daughter will be protected under the marriage of her fathers. 

The marriage of her fathers.

Holy fucking shit.

I know this issue is one that is very divisive, but I don't care.  If you are standing on the wrong side of history, you are wrong.  You are so wrong that even the Supreme Court tells you you are wrong.  Please reflect on your wrongness and realize that you are standing for hatred.

But for now, for now we are celebrating for equality.  The march forward, the march towards equality, is one step closer now.  One step closer to being considered just a person, who happens to sleep with the same gender, but more just a person. 

I am a person who can now get married.

In all 50 states.

This is a good pride day.  This is a good pride day.

This is a good day.

This is good.

Until Next Time.

A whole new life

A few days ago our daughter was born.  We traveled hours upon hours and were here when she was born.  We have a pride baby!  How awesome!

There is nothing like seeing your baby right after birth.  To hear that first cry and realize  you had been holding your breath until that happened.  The moment you get the hospital bracelet wrapped around your wrist.  Nothing makes you smile like nurses who scold you for not having your camera ready fast enough and proceed to tell you they will give you tips to get the best pictures.  Nothing compared to that day, watching my daughter being taken care of.

With that also comes the insane amount of worry that comes from having a preemie.  Two steps forward, one step back is the rhythm of the whole unit.   She is doing great, but man are we worried overall.  Seeing her in an isolette is so horrible and makes us feel like we are helpless.  Watching her under the bili lights makes us realize we ARE helpless.  We hate that helpless feeling, but she is being taken care of by some of the best and her nurses have been nothing but amazing.  We are so thankful for their guidance and help throughout this that I'm not sure we'll ever be able to express how thankful we truly are. 

So yeah, right now our lives are attempting to figure out the NICU routine and trying to get our shit together and stop pinching ourselves that we have a baby.  Living out of a hotel room for an undetermined amount of time is hard, but we'll figure it out. 

Hopefully I get some posts written and set to post while we are getting used to baby girl, but if not, just know I've not gone away forever!  I am eagerly awaiting the Supreme Courts decision that should be coming down in the next week, and we are debating if we are going to swing out to the local Pride festival here. 

Life is moving forward insanely quickly, but right now we are the happiest father's that we know. 

Until Next Time.

Father's day

A year ago I wrote a post on father's day.  It is an open letter to all fathers.  I can't think of a better thing to do this father's day than to link to that post.  Go, read.

Dear Dad

Remember that no matter when your child comes out to you, they are still your child. 

Until Next Time.

WE GET IT, YOU'RE GAY.

I am in love with this video.  Take 7 minutes of your life and watch. 



Until Next Time.

I live here

I live here.  I live in the gay community.  I live as part of the statistic of gay youth who were homeless.  I live as part of the gay youth who no longer have a family.  I live here.

I try not to live in the past, and I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt, but when a straight person tells me what I am or am not allowed to be upset about it really pisses me off.  I don't speak 100% for the gay community... we are all individuals who are just put together because of who we love, but as part of the gay community I am allowed to have feelings on things and I'll be damned if straight people are going to tell me it's okay. 

I live here.  I fucking live here day in and day out.  I am gay.  I cannot hide that I am gay.  I cannot pretend I am not gay.  I love a man with all that I am, no amount of pretending will change that.  I live this "gay lifestyle" every day of my life.  Please don't tell me what I'm allowed to be upset over. 

I cannot stand this idea that because gay marriage is "settled" (which it's really not) that suddenly there aren't any problems in the gay community, and we are totally accepted.  More than once I've had someone tell me "Well, you all can get married now.  I don't get why you still feel the need to act like you are a minority."  Excuse me? 

How many straight people are kicked off buses for kissing?  How many straight people are the target of crimes where they have homophobic phrases carved into their arm simply because they dare to be different?  How many children must die before we realize there is still a problem?  How many gay youth must attempt suicide before people realize there is a problem?  Gay youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide.  1/4 of all trans youth have stated they have attempted suicide in their lifetime.  I attempted suicide.  3 times in my life to be exact. When do people realize that LGBT people have a problem?

Newsflash:

THERE IS A PROBLEM. 

So when a heterosexual person tells me "Well, I think it's okay" I really want to respond "Well if YOU think it's okay, then it MUST be okay!"  but I don't.  My goal is not to alienate people or make enemies... but sometimes I really wonder what people have to be thinking when they open their mouth. 

::I truly love straight allies.  I think they are the best thing since sliced bread, so please don't think I want straight people to not be around or to never speak.  But sometimes it's not about the allies, it's about those of us who live LGBT lives day in and day out.  I live here, I know what is going on in a way you never will.::

I live here.  Please just listen to me sometimes.  I live here. 

Until Next Time.

The elusive gays, out in the wild

"Oh my god!  Look, their gay!" 

The shriek caught me off guard.  Mostly because I was surprised I could hear it.  See, my partner and I were at a ridiculously loud punk concert.  Because we were in the Big City we didn't shy away from acceptable public contact.  His arm around me, my body angled slightly into his arm.  We went to this concert as an early birthday present for him, so his level of comfort in public was all that mattered.

"I just love it when they are out in public!  Hell yeah!"

I just kinda sat there.  My partner, into the show, oblivious to the shrieking.  He can tune that kind of stuff out so easily.  I, however, cannot.

I really felt like turning around and making some snarky comment.  I wouldn't really do that, but sometimes it's fun to think of the response.

:: Tonight on the Discovery channel, elusive gay males.  Look at the natural way that one relaxes into arm of the other one.  Look at the closeness without saying anything.  Smell the gay in the air as they listen to the dulcet tones of a punk band.  A rare citing this is! ::

Thankfully the music picked up again and completed drowned out anyone else!  I'm still not sure I could hear someone talking to me unless they were right next to me.  Which is fine by me, more reason to be extra close to my partner tonight. 

It's so weird to be the object of someone who feels the need to tell me how awesome they find gay people.  "Oh, I just love gay men!  They are the best dressers" (They've never been in my closet... oops).  "The fact they are gay is such a turn on to me, I dunno why, it's so silly" (What?  That is a weird fetish).  "I want a gay best friend!  You all seem so fun!" (Thank you?  I'm not even sure how to deal with that one.)

I appreciate that people are accepting, please don't get me wrong.  I just find it weird to be pointed out like an animal in the zoo.  Just something to think about.

Until Next Time.

A little song today.

Enjoy the music of Rufus today for a little Pride break.  Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

Until Next Time!

Best laid plans

Best laid plans always fall apart.  Isn't that how it goes?

We received a call a few days ago saying baby is trying to make her appearance early.  Everything is going well, but it's boosting our need to get everything done sooner than we intended.  So time for sitting on the computer and writing my heart out for Pride month has taken a back seat to cooking freezer meals and cleaning her bedroom one last time and packing all the stuff we need for a longer than average stay in her home state.  Shit is getting real.

I do have a couple of posts planned that I have started writing and those will get published in the next couple of days.  Now that we have almost everything done I plan to start prioritizing the blog again.  I have so much to say regarding pride and how exciting this pride is turning out to be for us!  So please bear with me as I finally get things back in order! 

How is your Pride month going? 

Until Next Time!

Caitlyn Jenner

I don't have much to day on this topic.  Caitlyn Jenner is living her truth and how awesome is that?  How amazing is it that we live in a day and age where a person can realize their truth and then take the steps needed to finally live that truth. 

Nothing celebrates Pride more than being allowed to live as you see fit, as long as you aren't hurting someone else. 

Celebrate Pride, celebrate living your truth. 

Don't be a wall flower!

So in my quest to find pride topics people want, someone asked me how to not be a wall flower at pride.  I figured that's a good topic to start this whole pride thing off with!

When attending a pride festival, there is so much!  There are a lot of people, there are a lot of booths, so much going on!  I hate people, so I understand the want to just stay to yourself.  I understand not going up to every booth and talking to every person you see, but I really really suggest finding one or two booths and going for it!  Walk up and talk to one person, any person, at a booth.  They are there to interact with everyone, to talk to you about their booth.

Our pride here is a bit smaller than most cities.  We don't have a parade, but we have a ton of booths set up in the middle of town.  Because our pride is booths, you learn that you either have to go talk to people or you look like a gay strolling through town.  I constantly have to just tell myself that those people are there, they are supporter, they are friendlies.

I don't have a magic pill to make you suddenly okay with going out and talking to people, but I do have a suggestion.  Pick 2 booths to visit.  Just two.  Most city prides have an online presence that can let you know what booths will be around and roughly where they will be.  Take some time and do some planning.  I try to pick 2 booths at opposite ends of the pride area.  That is for two reasons.  1) I get to see all the booths there.  2) I get a break in between talking to people.

I get overwhelmed easily and I understand the want of just not.  I really encourage you to give this a try.  You might find yourself getting brave and jumping in to talk to other booths, or you may just be pleased with your two booths.  Either way, get out and enjoy pride for what it is, a celebration of community.

Until Next Time.

There has been a little snafu with the posts not posting for some reason.  Hopefully I fixed that and Pride posts will come out on time and in order... hopefully.