Hitting a milestone

Today I got a notification that the woman we have matched with for the adoption hit 24 weeks.  It's a finish line of sorts, the baby at this stage can be born viable to life outside of the womb.  I posted on social media about it and several women I know commented about how exciting it was.  They shared their personal stories and I am so thankful for them.  I often forget that the way this will progress for us will be different than it is for a "normal" pregnancy.  24 weeks is an exciting milestone.  It is an exciting milestone.

24 weeks baby is the size of an ear of corn.  (image:babycenter)

What is our celebration point?  The signature from the judge that the baby is now in our care and has our last name.  Yeah, even the birth, while exciting, is not when we will celebrate fully.  I am happy that this baby has a damn good chance to survive outside of the womb, I will be even happier when we get a chance to hold him or her.  I will be even happier when we get a chance to love this child, and bring them home with us, and just become the family we have wanted to be for so long.

But I can't help but live in a little fear and a little detached from the whole thing.  We are excited, we are happy, we are also nervous that this will end like every other adoption attempt we have gone through.  I say we, but I think I am more nervous than my partner.  He wants to believe that this is our time, our turn, our good chance.  I want to believe that too, but I also wanted to believe that about our other two chances.  I am jaded.

We have had a couple "what happens next" conversations.  I think they drag us both down, but not having a plan is not a real option.  So we have a plan we hope we never have to use.  That plan consists of "Try again I guess".  What a plan!  But let's not think about that okay?  Instead, we should go back to talking about what's happening in reality, and our milestone we hit.

I looked up what 24 weeks means exactly in the baby development world and this is what I found, from babycenter.com.

Lungs: Your baby's lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory"tree" as well as cells that will produce surfactant, a substance that helps air sacs in the lungs inflate easily.

Skin: Your skin may be feeling a bit itchy and dry as it stretches. Keeping it well moisturized may help.

Taste buds: Your baby's taste buds are developing now.

Uterus: The top of your uterus is now an inch or so above your belly button, making it about the size of a soccer ball.

Taste buds at 24 weeks, that is pretty awesome!  She are also rounding the corner on the second trimester.  3 weeks left until we hit the magical 3rd trimester than all adoptive parents wait for.  For our specific adoption, this is the time when baby's mom can have her hearing in court to make sure she is able to give consent to the adoption.  This also is the time when the father can sign his paperwork to release this child for adoption.  We also have a contract update done at this time that will outline what future contact mom and dad would like baby.  I don't think our specific contract will change, as we are doing an open adoption and I'm not sure we could be any more open, but it's nice to know that this is the time she can make changes if she wants.

Overall a positive thing, hitting 24 weeks today.  16 weeks left on this crazy roller coaster.  How exciting, and terrifying, at the same time!

Until Next Time!