Are you gonna make your baby gay?

Once upon a time there was a soon to be dad waiting in line at a big box chain baby store to buy an item on sale with a coupon.  It was early, he chose early on purpose, to avoid the crowds. Apparently everyone else had the same idea as the store was packed.  As he was standing in line, a woman soon to be dad (STBD) worked with came up behind him.  As he knew her, they struck up a conversation.

Granted, STBD hadn't seen this woman in a couple of years but learned that she was having her second child in 2 years and she was super excited.  He was super excited for her!  As the line inched slowly forward, the conversation turned to his pending adoption and the excitement that maybe the third time would be the charm for him and his partner.

And then it happened.

The woman's face scrunched up slightly.  STBD realized that she may not have known he was gay... how, he wasn't sure, but their work place had been at a religious organization so it may just not have come up.  The woman inquired slightly as to "the Partner" in the sentence.  She recovered quickly from her minor face scrunching and congratulated STBD.  But the conversation quickly got awkward.

Then she nailed the coffin shut on the conversation.

"Are you going to make your baby gay?"  She was serious.  "I have read that gay parents are more likely to have gay kids."  It took everything in STBD's power to not react out of anger.

Do people seriously still think that you will turn out exact like your parents?  I mean, my parents are straight, I'm not.  My partner's parents are straight, he's not.  Why is this still a question?  The reality is my sexuality has nothing to do with my future children.  My sexuality is nothing to do with kids.  This idea that homosexuals are out to recruit children is so outdated that it's insulting at this point that people still follow that line of thinking.

 I am not having children to "make them gay".  I am not having children to recruit more into the ebil homosexual lifestyle.  I am having kids for the same reason everyone else has a child, because I want to have a family that includes children.  Pretty plain and simple.

Now, that said, my partner and I ARE gay.  And pretty damn proud of it.  So our "lifestyle" will not be hidden from our children.  We will be out and proud with our daughter (and future daughters or sons, whatever we may get) and she will know that her dads both love her.  She will attend pride parades with us, she will not be shied away from the fact that her dads are gay.  Chances are she will be exposed to more gay people than "normal", but simply because we find strength in numbers.

But no matter how many pride parades we take her too, or how many gay friends we have, we will have no influence on her sexuality.  You either are, or aren't.  No amount of parental influence or shunning has turned me straight and the same is true for our future children.  No amount of our influence will turn our, or your, children gay.


However, I don't think we'll be hanging out at new parent things any time soon.

Until Next Time.