Why are you so argumentative?

I feel like sometimes the simplest questions can create the need for complex answers.  I was asked just the other day why I was "so argumentative".  It took me a moment to figure out what the person doing the asking was talking about... and then it hit me.  They are talking about the fact that I don't agree with them and instead of letting it drop while they spout their beliefs, I questioned them.  Thus I'm argumentative.

I sit here now debating if I even want to try to explain this or just let it go.  I am not an argumentative person, I am merely trying to understand your beliefs.... and the only context I have to understand you is through my own experiences.  I cannot experience something that you have, but I can compare it to similar things I have experienced.  Of course you don't think they have anything to do with one another, but that is because your experiences are worse to you than mine are to you, but mine are worse to me than they are to you.  Make sense?

No of course not!  Because trying to understand life in the way you live it is complicated, complex.  Life is complicated and complex.  Understanding, trying to empathize with someone, is often done through the lens of your own experiences.  And that is okay.  When someone tries to compare your experiences to their own, they aren't necessarily trying to belittle your issues.  They are merely trying to find the best way to empathize, to show a sense of understanding and camaraderie to you and your experiences.

And that is exactly what I am trying to do when I "argue" with you.  I am trying to understand your beliefs as they compare to my own.  I am trying to understand your way of thinking within the only context I can.  I can't magically have your experiences or see life through your eyes.  I only have what I have and that is what I'm working with.  And just because I am asking questions and challenge what you say doesn't mean I don't agree with you.  I am still trying to understand it through my lens... and that has nothing to do with my agreement with you at all.

I hate being told I'm argumentative because I don't immediately come over to the other side or I ask questions.  Sometimes I'm just trying to understand... and you should too.

Until Next Time.